i’ve tried something different with the recording of the poem…hope you enjoy..
hands in trouser pockets,
khaki and pink panther polo
no horse, i walk
on small town idyll with
a sunset squished
between my headphones,
charlie parker going
mad and you,
huddled up like lovers
on the front lid of you car,
polish life from coal black
varnish, lunatic antiseptic
without a party, fireworks,
mad man’s thunder dance
on empty streets,
inside your lawn gnome
paradise lurks desperation,
see it dangling on your
rear view mirror right beside
the skull, forwarding life
next what/What’s next and How
you gonna saturate/eliminate
the scratches
on these shining lacquer spots,
we’re flawless,
flowery jawless &
scents of clean slate washing
cling, expecting, reacting like
tie dyed penetration threads
to us, bad luck /tant pis ‘cos we
sing loudly, off-key, insanely
comically bizzare – ya know
i have no use for polished
cars and shining armors
but take my slinghot
to the rainless forests and
labyrinths of
brass-fed blues hue clous,
emptying all my pockets, shaking
charlie off my ears, feeding the
last crumbs of the sunset
to the birds and swim
the next lake naked
.
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I love the opening stanza. Perfect!
this is fabulous claudia…the wild singing i am in…and you can read to me anytime…love the voice…nice job mixing it up to with the inclusion of the cypher…
“i have no use for polished
cars and shining armors”
Awesome. Dig the flow, especially when put to the beat. So glad I listened to your recording. 😀
Love the beat and the flow
nicely penned
Always love it when you mix it up Claudia
Moonie hugs
Smokin. Like all your writing this one jumps and hums with the jazz of life. And pure fun in the recording.
Claudia…
Tres Cool Chickie.
You Rule the Roost of Beat.
Perfect flow to this.
Made me think of my poem that starts out:
I got lotsa gypsy images
go fleeting through my brain
at the speed of sight
like others said, this is perfect! I shall say no more
How you love the good bad man … was it the bad good man? Sadly, that’s a ledge no knight is long enough for. But you have the ring and zing of it, like the sound of fingers snapping down a empty street at 3 a.m., the hour of Charlie Parker sunsets. – Brendan
I enjoyed your voice in this one and the images you create. Had to smile at the tant pis…haven’t used that since I lived in France and it’s a great substitute for other expressions like tough shit. :0) And thanks so much for your helpful comments on my High Octain.
…dies ist ein ganz *junges* Gedicht, Claudia…
wie machst du das nur? denkst du dich hinein? oder kommt die Atmosphäre in dir zum klingen? es wirkt so echt erlebt…
Maybe its just my computer but the beat drowned you out, only could hear every third word. So I just read aloud to myself. Felt good in my mouth 🙂 Love that about a good poem.
I love the sunset squished between headphones. Good poem!
i just love listening to you read your poetry, and this one was really cool…
i love your work. you had me from, “with a sunset squished between my headphones…” – phrases like that are what I love so much about poetry. i know i don’t do a lot of things correctly, poetry-wise. i’m more of a feeler, and when i read what you write, i feel it. love that about you.
Claudia, I love it!
good fun, this one…bravo on the mix…some fabulous lines, too..got to love Parker ~
Claudia, I really enjoyed listening to this. I am fascinated by your talent, your use of words, the way you create a feeling. This is true art.
Claudia…I really loved what you did with the poem..it really came alive…bravo!
Dear Claudia
Wonderful verse… with your lines like “no use for polished car…” and then moving on to wonderful ending with …
‘charlie off my ears, feeding the
last crumbs of the sunset
to the birds and swim
the next lake naked’
I could drink it all in with pleasure.. lovely style though different from others that I have had read from your posts… Thanks for sharing..
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/05/whispers-buddha-and-life.html
At Twitter @VerseEveryDay
Hi! Claudia…
I really like the up-tempo beat in your sounds and the flow Of your written words. To hear and “read” your word is quite an experience.
I have mentioned this to you before…Whenever, I hear your voice and read your words at the same time.
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-D
I truly aspire to reach your level of spoken word on day Claudia, I loved it!
“inside your lawn gnome
paradise lurks desperation,
see it dangling on your
rear view mirror right beside
the skull, forwarding life”
my favorite stanza of this piece, your words hypnotize as always ~ Rose
Beautiful…
facade
This is beautiful. I especially liked: inside your lawn gnome
paradise lurks desperation,
see it dangling on your
rear view mirror right beside
the skull, forwarding life.
Thank you for sharing.
Just phenomenal stuff, Claudia. I loved the added beat of the recording – sounds like my kind of day off.
Too many beautiful lines, but these were my faves:
a sunset squished
between my headphones… and the link through to:
feeding the
last crumbs of the sunset
to the birds and swim
the next lake naked
Hats off to you…. I simply loved this…. so rhythmic and such great flow to the words!
Mind blowing stuff, Claudia!! Rhythmic and musical..
Loved the internal rhymes… totally effective!
Nice to meet you Claudia. Thank you for your work here and the chance to meet and share. A true privilege. I loved hearing your voice color this piece. What a walk that was. I’ve never once thought of anyone’s perceived paradise as having lawn gnomes. That made me smile.
So ein schones Gedicht! Especially enjoyed this together with the audio.
Love that you spoke the poem as it made the printed words work for me. It felt like performance poetry
I read this yesterday and didn’t know what to make of it. Today I hear you recite it and am blown away.
Absolutely awesome in its delivery, highlighted by your accent.
Great idea and you definately pulled it off.
Loved the way it stirs nay shakes the feelings inside..the restlessness and the eagerness to break free..
something about the color detail in that polo that made me believe that this was real. you really had me with that opening stanza, which is mission accomplished. and you ended it with an equally strong stanza. really, really fresh. i also the emptying pockets concept:)
Wonderful! Wonderful! The rhythm you picked was EXACTLY what carried this poem onwards perfectly….Such Music you are creating here!
Wonderful….this is a “high” that infuses glory!
Lady Nyo
I’m with Mama Zen – opening stanza fabulous
Phew, that was sizzlin’
An excellent idea, you pulled it off nicely
Really enjoyed listening!!
That was truly Ah-MaZ-Zing. i like how you had a beat to your words. it was very much like a song. Very brave and well done.