WhatWeTalk whenWeTalk traVeling

between Myanmar & Perth,
the indian ocean in a blurred, blue blanket
& there’s something in my eyes
that swims– dropsOnDriftsOnCrests,

he leans casually against my desk
“she’s doing well, spent a few days
on the beach, traveling again now,
mobile doesn’t work but—“

we talk about risks, leaving comfort space
how difficult it gets once we’ve settled in,
i chew the soft end of my pen,
wanna suck up all the salty space on
google maps with chapped lips, back-
packed stories, sweat-soaked,
re-told, snow spills

in my business shoes, i walk
lunch break silent, swinging wing-less above
trees, the forest’s damp breath on me, through the
traffic jam back home, i say, still in my coat,

“i booked a flight to Berlin —had to”
“you’RE two weeks home already, eh—?“

i start unbuttoning his shirt,
close to his ear, ask “ya remember Madagascar?
Gia Jaguar–? really, wanna be like her
on that trapeze, without thinking, following, i—
ve much to learn,
un-zip my coat, close the blinds “plEAse,

WILL you—

take me some/Where? IDon’t care—“
close my eyes, gonna play
blind passenger, with a bold smile, juMp
right after you, loop in the air & scream,
catch the corners of the high wire with my teeth
& will not buckle up //i swear//

when we take off—

.

Gay has prepared a wonderful poetry craft article today at dVerse & encourages us to embed as many of the poetic tools  like rhythm, rhyme, alliteration, assonance, consonance, diction, denotation, connotation, hyperbole etc. etc into our verse…go and give it a try..doors open at 3pm EST…oh…and i’m referring to the movie Madagascar 3 in my poem…very cool film…

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42 responses to “WhatWeTalk whenWeTalk traVeling

  1. Very cool poem! I appreciate the beat driving me through the scenes and ocean and home buying the tickets and not needing the seat belts for that pre-flight flight.

  2. I love this – all except the tickets to Berlin. I think Edinburgh would have been a better choice 🙂
    It’s when we start to think about assonance, dissonance, alliteration, internal rhyme etc that we get into the real word-play at the heart of a lot of poetry. You’ve managed to pack a lot of that in here.

  3. i chew the soft end of my pen,
    wanna suck up all the salty space on
    google maps with chapped lips, back-
    packed stories, sweat-soaked,
    re-told, snow spills

    … this sizzles Claudia!

    • I would have to say in your poem WhatWeTalk whenWeTalk traVeling you have used the “poetic tools like rhythm, rhyme, alliteration, assonance, consonance, diction, denotation, connotation, hyperbole etc. etc into our verse…”

      …with a touch Of playfulness and a very subtle hint at romance as you remember [a scene] from the film Madagascar 3…Happy Valentinstag to you and yours…today.
      deedee 🙂

  4. really like the turn to intimacy in this claudia…and how with/in each other you can be swept away to those far off places….love your mash up words as well…and you def packed it all in this one…smiles…wanna suck up all the salty space on
    google maps with chapped lips, back-
    packed stories, sweat-soaked,
    re-told, snow spills….like that much…

    have a wonderful day c…

  5. This is so you, so dreamy and imaginative as well as sensual and sexy. Can’t pick a favorit line. There are too many wonderful words here. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your hubby.

  6. oh boy, did you embed the tools! and besides poetically, you really took me travelling with this – hot, sensuous, perfect for the Day… and i really didn’t want to quote anything (too much too good) but

    “wanna suck up all the salty space on
    google maps with chapped lips, back-
    packed stories, sweat-soaked,
    re-told”

    wow!

  7. Oh baby, this is one humming sensual, sizzling, sumptuous, scintillating, sweat-soaked, snapping, scrapping piece of poetry; really dug it. No one can write both as intelligently and lustily as you do; you are a jewel, a dusky treasure.

  8. …from someone who has traveled a lot in the world i find this suuuupppeeerrr cool and oh… you really know how to put everything in verse… very naturally told and you won’t feel uncomfortable with the visuals… smiles…

  9. between Myanmar & Perth,
    the indian ocean in a blurred, blue blanket
    & there’s something in my eyes
    that swims– dropsOnDriftsOnCrests,

    Love this.

    Your ability to weave the whimsical with the mundane, and imagery with dialogue throughout the poem is amazing. I caught myself smiling throughout the read. Perfect. 🙂

  10. Claudia I agree about travel. It is wonderful to see everything and feel it taste it be there. Your poem celebrates these feelings =).

    I used the Tao about home because it is a ‘wisdom’ but it is also an experience that I wanted to escape from. Same with the Fool on the Hill. They are the starting quotes that the escapism poem is breaking free from. Well that was my thinking =)

  11. wow….your day to day musings are extremely evocative and exciting….no dull moments where you live…and the many forms incorporated make this a great read ..loved it 😉

  12. Every song that you sing makes me fall in love again — with you, with poetry, with music, with joy, with wanderlust, with romance, with life. None of the techniques show as you adroitly move us through multiple planes of existence – flying free on words, in words, without words. You are a true mistress of poetry!

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