“i lost it somewhere– in the storm” he says (on good days)

the victory goddess on top of the brandenburger tor, shot from the reichstag kuppel

the victory goddess on top of the Brandenburger Tor from the Reichstag Kuppel

.

his nails, horned claws of a big bird,
rest on a worn bag, dirt
weaves patterns round abRupt mar-
gins, never coincidental, but foreseeably irRegular,
unWinged, the dice fall
alWays somewhere (else), &side

by side, we smell each other,
in the hot and sticky subway air,
dizzied by an angry rattling train
(still something cradle/ing in it)
his hair hiZZes with another streak of air,
flatTers//Sways &scrEEches like grey doves
around his head, wild, whirly flight,
deFenceLess, in a whiFF
from half-closed panes
“where’d you lose your– ?”

an indifferent metal voice announces
the next stop, matter of fact,
(as if we ever could be sure),

“Warschauer Strasse”

the girl’s blond dreads, a thousand nests construction,
empty plastic bottles in her bag
whisper one-more-chanceRe//Cycling melodies,
(like all of us// somedays),
doors slide, she looks never back,
striding for the bins north-east the station,
(direction into which the victory goddess gazes),
small hands scratched from holding
heavy leather straps, (those that connect four horses
to a golden glistening chariot–)
& “go–Go–GO!!” straight, through the city gate,
a half-moon laurel wreath pinned to her dreads,

“we have to change trains at the next stop” hubs says,
“hmmm”
“did you see his tattoos?
not the ink’s the pattern any more,
but his skin”
— and there’s a certain logic in it,
from the rim of night,

smell of bonfire, hooves
hitting hard on concrete, piss & neighing as through thick, uncolored
sheets, an undefined,
somehow familiar yet,

&soothing groove

.

Shanyn is guest hosting dVerse Poetics today and she has us write Cowboy poetry… give it a go & i’ll see you at 3pm EST when the pub doors open (but really, you can’t bring your horse inside…) smiles.. greetings from berlin…having a great time & oh, i’ve seen cops on horses here… pretty cool…

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37 responses to ““i lost it somewhere– in the storm” he says (on good days)

  1. Lots of wonderful lines here Claudia. I loved this line especially on its own:

    “did you see his tattoos?
    not the ink’s the pattern any more,
    but his skin”

    Isn’t it always about that pattern? The human pattern.
    Thoughtful and descriptive. Just lovely. smiles. I’m inspired.

  2. A train ride was said to be so romantic across Asia in the olden days. It’s so nice in Berlin too, apparently with co-passengers of varied takes….and cops on horses as well! Great poem Claudia!

    Hank

  3. you def had me in the moment….taking in all the sights & smells…the little girl, i love her, there is a magic with her….it like all the action & energy in her description…in her chariot roaring into the city….and his…bringing us back to reality by the voice of the intercom…i love the train…so many people to see…ha

  4. Vivid writing: from ‘him’ with nails….tattoo…hair ‘like grey doves’ – to blond girl with empty bottles…-to you&hub going to change train….and finally- to this Huge goddess on the roof! Such contrast in all meanings! Really cool poem!

  5. I love how you tied the cowboy theme into this, Claudia. Here I am, smack in the heart of cowboy country, where there are dozens of cowboy poets and I’m coming up empty. So maybe I grab a bit of inspiration from Germany–makes sense, doesn’t it? I guess there’s a bit of cowboy in all of us.

  6. The tone of a city is vibrant in the poem…you once again bring all the sensory information to the reader such that we feel we’re standing next to you on the train.

  7. You do see all types on the subway… makes you wonder what their stories are. I love this one.

  8. Urban cowboy in German subway…you can write anything. And it so matches the “traditional” cowboy experience but in more gritty and amazing words and images.

  9. Excellent description. I knew I was going to write it after reading just a few lines.
    I liked the way you indulged in your observation skills, writing this piece.

  10. Brilliant rendering of the Western prompt, like a Wim Wenders urban Western. You find inspiration a lot of those trains. We both included trains in our poetics tonight; how cool is that? You, of course, nail down the prompt, and soar above it at the same time, sharing another Schoenfeld montage of grit, emotion, & swirl; thanks for the sweet ride.

  11. Love how you inserted the cowboy vibe into the subway! Now, if he had actual shit on his boots, he could’ve had the whole car to himself. This is sort of an “anti-cowboy” poem, yet it fit the prompt in the weirdest way possible!! Loved it. Amy

  12. your thoughts and associations spattering like hot fat in a pan.
    flying in all directions and with intense strength, tying our brain into knots.

  13. “smell of bonfire, hooves
    hitting hard on concrete, piss & neighing as through thick, uncolored
    sheets, an undefined,
    somehow familiar yet,”…wow, that’s so good! Love your weave of words Claudia and that photo is amazing.

  14. This is wonderful! It’s been so much fun to go and read other people’s poems from Shanyn’s prompt. Really liked the stanza where you used the ZZ, EE, and FF 🙂