count me in for a cyber music mission to the moon,
on a wing-ed old jazz guitar ride into space,
strumming heavy metal riffs with just two fingers
(got) 11 belgium chocolate bars (just in case), a spoon
full of pitchY tuned scales, & sans sports-car in a race
against time (tiCk//TocK//toCK), scent, dissonant progression (mostly offBeat) lingers
feel the rhythm, cha-bOO BoOM, typhoon balloons
in the flat seams of my socks, &reMakes
of odd crackling rock songs, bulge-lipped singers
eXplosion-proofing the white spaces of the eyes, red-throated loons,
no goggles (yeah, you thought so), guess
it was the jet stream wind that brought us
closer to the tip-tap (you can hum that) uniVerseAlSpace
as cyber-Y pixels (uhhh, i saw them blush– ) crush a bunch of 7th minors
in a tight emBrace
.
abc abc abc abc aa (or bb or cc) — that’s the sonnet variation, Sam will focus on in his FormForAll article at dVerse today– and yeah, i guess i’m guilty for not playing exactly to the rules– so don’t take this as a good example– smiles– see you at 3PM EST in the pub..
jaywalking the moon 
I enjoy your poem.Good version of a sonnet.
This one really grabs me!
you really infused a musical feel to this one Claudia, really nicely done. Really like the second bar, er..stanza:)
You play fast and loose with the rules, for sure, but who cares when the result is as much fun as this?
What a fabulously onomatopoeic poem 🙂
Belgian Chocolate and Jazz… that is some trip!
Chika bow! Chika bow! Chika bow-wow-wow!! 😀
Love it Claudia!
Hi! Claudia…
for 8 missed beats you get a Major7 (that’s a fair deal, right?)</b?
“got) 11 belgium chocolate bars (just in case), a spoon
full of pitchY tuned scales, & sans sports-car in a race
against time (tiCk//TocK//toCK), scent, dissonant progression (mostly offBeat) lingersfeel the rhythm, cha-bOO BoOM, typhoon balloons…
abc abc abc abc aa (or bb or cc) — that’s the sonnet variation
Claudia, through your beautiful poetic words…that’s filled with a rhythm
and a-b-c- beat a-b…I think that I get the “gist” Of sonnet variation
poems.
Thanks, for sharing!
deedee 🙂
haha…love the sounds right there in the middle…the BOOM…the tipTap…makes me think of being a child and planning our trip to outer space…there is so much energy in your sonnet broguht on by the rhythm….very very cool….smiles.
Yes!!! 🙂 Loved it. And you know what? I was playing air guitar to it all the way through.
Greetings from London.
spaced out… s p a c e d o u t
This one has me dancing!! To a” universe – al” tune!
Music plays as away your words blaze with a tip and a tap, you get a cat clap.
I enjoy your musical qualities… the sounds and shapes. mission to the moon and your jet stream wind. great read, Claudia.
Surprised you didn’t take along some hemi-demi-semi-quavers!
GOOD one, Claudia! I’d like to be on that ride–could be in charge of the chocolate…and fiddle around (on violin –smiles!).
Everyone knows you “do not follow the rules, Babe. Very few DO any more.. Neither did Beethoven, BTW!
Hugs
This made me smile, Claudia. Love poetry revolving around music. Might not fit into any perfectly set form, but it is YOUR form, it’s you, and I love it!
Zippy, zany and zesty. When I’m on my zimmer, I shall still like it a zillion!
You’ve really infused music into the poem…I can hear the notes and rhythms of the music…very enjoyable poem.
i’ll bet you had a lot of fun writing it, and it was fun to read as well, great rhythm, toe-tappin’ music in this sonnet
Title of the month! I think that sound like a good deal. Though I’d take a diminished 5th anyday 😉
Aside from the creative title, I like the sounds here…tick-tock, boom, eXplosion echoing ~I like the cyber music ~
Never played by rules, unless I absolutely have to … like in order to obey the law, for example … when it comes to music, there is no law, thank goodness … may you rot in hell, all my music teachers of the past …
Cyper jazz, poetic riffs, remote viewing, astral projection, and rule bending–loved all of it, Claudia. Great energy and scope in this. How wonderful it got picked to be included in a sonnet collection; congrats!
Claudia, you always have a way of making forms yours. I love the beat. Can I go to the moon with you?
I don’t know much about music, about cyber space or guitars. But I’d like to go too, as long as you have those chocolates with you.
I really love this, Claudia! Amazing. 🙂
A jazz rhythmic sonnet must sound like this refreshing 😉
Glad to see you ran out of rhyme too 🙂
What a jolly mixture of sounds and typography.
So good to see something really way out.
This was such a delightful take on the form/prompt etc. – anything that has music and chocolate – how could I not love it? It was delish…
http://leapinelephants.blogspot.ca/2013/02/beneath-mirrored-surface.html
Love this and if this is a sonnet (I really don’t do forms) then hands down it is really good. I can play piano and sing, love to write and do my art but forms…feels like I need to count in order to get it right and math has never been my friend. Will enter something next time around. 🙂
Oh, love this. I want to hear you read it aloud. I just did 🙂
Claudia, you had me dancing to your beat – loved the sounds and the quickness to the phrasing – K
I like those sound effects too. Your poetry is infused with energy..makes it so entertaining to read, enjoy and feel…
With the title staking our the musical theme, it’s no wonder that onomatopaeia is so effectively used throughout the poem – from the tiny taps to the explosive booms! I also love the line-length expanses, your variation on my sonnet variation, so to speak; these and your full command of the sensory buttons really make this a modernist sonnet in all senses.
well first I must go for the bulged lipped singers 😉 …now I have this image of you riding into space with a guitar, in jeans and having a great old time…love it!
You sure know how to make a sonnet rock Claudia!
…Claudia, i say, you’re the coolest…ha… this was a fun take with the form & very very playful… i like the sounds you produced & resonated here making the whole piece stands uniquely & very original… i read about the anthology… congrats Claudia… and many more to come…for sure… smiles…
i liked the song in your piece
I really like Stanzas 2 and 5.
Awesome as per uje =)
Hey, Claudia, sorry I’ve been absent. The usual grey…
LOVED this. First off, you know I’m a musician – but the rhyme scheme (for which I do not possess enough brain cells to attempt!), so cool. Your choice of words ending the lines, seeing what you would come up with as the poem progress, and as for the rocket ship, we’re going First Class, kiddo! Peace, Amy
How about some crushed minor 7ths with a smattering of french 6ths and neapolitan 2nds. Wow! 🙂 I’m a classical musician.
great syncopation and energy
I had a feeling you would work wonders with this prompt. And you did not disappoint, not that you ever could! I’m going to use this as a musical incentive to dance myself away from the computer and off to bed. 🙂
Ha – closer to the tiptap – you can hum that – is so… humable! Very clever and fun. k.
I especially liked your last verse.
~This raised a smile, and why shouldn’t a sonnet have 15 lines when it’s as good as this?
Claudia, so much FuN! I was actually swaying and SmiLing 🙂 Love that explosion proofing the white spaces of the eyes–Excellent poem!
I really enjoyed the music in this one. Can’t help but smile really.
Eleven Belgium chocolate bars, metaphorical I presume, lest ye shall suffer
sugar shock & chocolate drop…