we watch the rainbow fly
watch as clouds jump sky
the clouds, a crowd– silentio
rainbow jump, crowd cream dipped
FlySky– (psshhh–) silentio, dipped toTheHip
.
so if you thought that poetry has nothing to do with math, you should go and read Sam’s FormForAll square poems prompt at dVerse today… the above poem has as many words in one line as lines and can be read left to right and top to bottom…i don’t say it’s good poetry though…haha…ok..be brave and join us…smiles
Fascinating form, Claudia! You definitely excelled.
An interest form and imagine created with the poem.
i like how you constructed the FlySky { that’sa very German thing to do 😉 }
haha love the playful pshhh…playful…and nice visuals madam poet….sorry about the game…. : (
I’m thinking on this one… never was any good at math…lol 😦
You did well 🙂
You sure took two plus two and made it ten, nicely done at your den
Very nicely done and that last line was a joy!
You got me laughing! I don’t know “dipped to the Hip” — but I loved a crowd of clouds, rainbow jump, jump sky., Fly sky–I think I am responding to sounds (despite the silence of the scene) and bouncing and cream.
I am up way above my hip in this rainbow cloud cream right now, dear Claudia! I really had fun reading this one and picturing myself in such a setting!
Mesmerizing and mysterious; Nicely done Claudia!
Hank
Very creative way of playing with the form ~ Nice dipped to the hip ~
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This was a tough one for me…seems I just can’t shake the numbers…love the word play (but that’s a given)
You have my respect – this is hard to do and you done it!
Now that is a challenging form! Take my hat off to you for pulling it off so well C.
I was thinking this is the shortest poem I’ve ever read by you, and now I understand why – that is not an easy form! Yeah, well done!
Well, you definitely had fun with this one. I even loved the thumb-your-nose at the form (psshhh-), like a coloured balloon zipping off from an outburst of air.
That was fun! You made it hip to be square–again! 🙂
Another wonderful write, my friend.
Well, I think it is good poetry– I don’t know about the math–as some of those words have a definite joined-up feel (ha!) –but I’ll be silentio about that as it works really well as poetry, which to my mind is the point of all these exercises. I think it’s a lot of fun. k.
Yes, it is somehow square..I enjoyed your crowd pleasing rainbow watching!
You have so taken the form to another level … what an amazing poem Claudia, great imagery.
Very nicely done Claudia. The last two lines are awesome, and incorporating silentio, super cool. Great job. Thanks
Impressionist & fantastic. Love it.
You make it worth my while tuning in every morning.
M
psshhh–) silentio
indeed. I’m with you at the hip 🙂
Interesting form C. Silentio…New word for me. I looked it up and it is a latin legal term. Sub silentio is legal latin meaning “under silence.” Sub silentio would have worked for it’s double edge. i.e. silence under the wonder of what you saw looking up.
I read this poem at least five times before I read the words about the form. claudia, you always keep my brain cell movin’! thanks!
Should have read *cells. Freudian slip…maybe I only have one brain cell! 🙂
Our did justice to the form, Claudia…. The complexity of the form makes it natural to write “tough” and melancholic poems using it… But you’ve written such a sweet poem using the form, that the form itself must be on cloud 9 by now 😉 Lovely!!
“Our” was supposed to be “You” 🙂 Autocorrect can be a real pain in all the wrong places…whewwww
Nice mix match of words….:-)
Claudia, this is really unique. It is light and playful and fitting for the square. Wonderful job!
ps~thank you for your support. 🙂
Interesting. I don’t think you could write bad poetry if you tried
I won’t try this one. Unfortunately, I just hear or read the word ‘math’ and my brian shuts down.
I love every one I’ve seen so far – soooo clever – this is wondrous
Nicely done, Claudia. 🙂
cleverly creative and so fun to read!! I love your style, it shines through any form. ~jane
This such an intruiguing form, and I love the way the words half-deterime what you can and cannot put in. It reminds me of Jazz a little, or really atonal music, like Schoenberg using the twelve tone system.
Love these delicious lines:
“watch as clouds jump sky”
“crowd cream dipped”
And oh, that sensual ending:
“(psshhh–) silentio, dipped toTheHip”
Always makes me jealous to see your imagination fly away – so creatively here, you made this form sing and that’s pretty hard for numbery things to do! I loved it.
loving the jumping and dipping 🙂
beautiful dance, I love the whimsical joy to this ~ Rose
Nice job with that form. I never managed to pull it off. 🙂
“we watch the rainbow fly
watch as clouds jump sky
the clouds, a crowd– silentio
rainbow jump, crowd cream dipped
FlySky– (psshhh–) silentio, dipped toTheHip”
Hi! Claudia… I loved every word in your poem… somehow square– Tks, for sharing!
deedee 😉