somehow square–

we watch the rainbow fly
watch as clouds jump sky
the clouds, a crowd– silentio
rainbow jump, crowd cream dipped
FlySky– (psshhh–) silentio, dipped toTheHip

so if you thought that poetry has nothing to do with math, you should go and read Sam’s FormForAll square poems prompt at dVerse today… the above poem has as many words in one line as lines and can be read left to right and top to bottom…i don’t say it’s good poetry though…haha… brave and join us…smiles


43 responses to “somehow square–

  1. You got me laughing! I don’t know “dipped to the Hip” — but I loved a crowd of clouds, rainbow jump, jump sky., Fly sky–I think I am responding to sounds (despite the silence of the scene) and bouncing and cream.

  2. I am up way above my hip in this rainbow cloud cream right now, dear Claudia! I really had fun reading this one and picturing myself in such a setting!

  3. Pingback: somehow square– « thebleedingpen

  4. I was thinking this is the shortest poem I’ve ever read by you, and now I understand why – that is not an easy form! Yeah, well done!

  5. Well, I think it is good poetry– I don’t know about the math–as some of those words have a definite joined-up feel (ha!) –but I’ll be silentio about that as it works really well as poetry, which to my mind is the point of all these exercises. I think it’s a lot of fun. k.

  6. You have so taken the form to another level … what an amazing poem Claudia, great imagery.

  7. Very nicely done Claudia. The last two lines are awesome, and incorporating silentio, super cool. Great job. Thanks

  8. Interesting form C. Silentio…New word for me. I looked it up and it is a latin legal term. Sub silentio is legal latin meaning “under silence.” Sub silentio would have worked for it’s double edge. i.e. silence under the wonder of what you saw looking up.
    I read this poem at least five times before I read the words about the form. claudia, you always keep my brain cell movin’! thanks!

  9. Our did justice to the form, Claudia…. The complexity of the form makes it natural to write “tough” and melancholic poems using it… But you’ve written such a sweet poem using the form, that the form itself must be on cloud 9 by now 😉 Lovely!!

  10. Claudia, this is really unique. It is light and playful and fitting for the square. Wonderful job!

    ps~thank you for your support. 🙂

  11. Interesting. I don’t think you could write bad poetry if you tried
    I won’t try this one. Unfortunately, I just hear or read the word ‘math’ and my brian shuts down.

  12. This such an intruiguing form, and I love the way the words half-deterime what you can and cannot put in. It reminds me of Jazz a little, or really atonal music, like Schoenberg using the twelve tone system.

  13. Love these delicious lines:

    “watch as clouds jump sky”
    “crowd cream dipped”

    And oh, that sensual ending:

    “(psshhh–) silentio, dipped toTheHip”

  14. Always makes me jealous to see your imagination fly away – so creatively here, you made this form sing and that’s pretty hard for numbery things to do! I loved it.

  15. “we watch the rainbow fly
    watch as clouds jump sky

    the clouds, a crowd– silentio
    rainbow jump, crowd cream dipped
    FlySky– (psshhh–) silentio, dipped toTheHip”

    Hi! Claudia… I loved every word in your poem… somehow square– Tks, for sharing!
    deedee 😉