.
bend-able
a mint-splash hint
of fresh
the sea
as carried in its womb
&rhythm
as we move
along each twin’s erected
witness/es
to trace back life
long after our decay
.
at dVerse today Björn wants us to write true avant-garde in the spirit of Gertrude Stein…focusing mainly on sound and simple objects and doing our own verbal cubism…doors open at 3pm EST
O, I like this … so wish could be there and hear you read it …
… in one long fresh breath … smiles …
Ah.. What delight to have the sea along with brushing teeth. Really enjoyable to read. Avoiding the decay is good too.
perhaps it’s the mint, but this is fresh and vibrant – and hopeful of renewal
Have a free clerihew today:
Gertrude Stein
got along fine
with Percy Thrower
the rose-is-a-rose-grower.
🙂
This meets the bar fine 🙂
Very clever, Claudia. Hopefully there is not too much decay among the ‘cubes,’. At least not until our demise. Avante-garde indeed.
its that last line that carries the weight of feeling for me…
there is a freshness in the opening….the brushing teeth…and the ocean…that contrasts nice with the heaviness of that last line, for me.
There’s no decay here. Très frais!
I too like the freshness of the mint and the sea and how it is contrasted with the decay at the very end. You have also infused your poem with energy with the rhythm you evoke. Off to brush my teeth!
Keep the decay away, I oil pull every day. Works and nice and fresh. When I’m dead, decay can come lol
Amazing how those teeth last if we care for them … twins, all. I love the sketch and how the poem evokes the freshness of brushing and brushed teeth–mint, the sea foam, the after taste. Fun and lovely poem.
I love the sea in the teeth brushing ritual!
Interestingly, the poem is not balanced for me without your sketch, where the 90 dg. angle of your elbow nicely added to equilibrium of poem. :)x
The first word of the poem and the drawing make an immediate connection…another unique poem.
Oh yeah, we all found brevity midst the verbal cubism, & that is a minty breath of freshness; especially for the likes of old verbose story-telling poets like me. Nice to see some more of your art, as you rock steady but gently; liked the lines /the sea/as carried in its womb/ & like Brian, I think the last line is killer.
“..the sea is carried in its womb” moved me; I like the contrast in this and so fun with the sketch to go with!
It flows just like the sea.
Great stuff, now, if you could have just included the “wife and the cow”! 🙂
Greetings from London.
I really like how you close this one out!
Groovy!
Magical … mysticism and dental hygiene!
loved the underlining message in… real enjoyed this… nice drawing
You make the everyday brushing sound….magical, smiles ~
aww..a minty fresh poem and the last two lines whisper immortality to me…
sea water and mint ..cool oneClaudia
so cool!!
Wonderfully full of a self-evident meaning that … er … isn’t actually there. But oh, the concepts! 🙂
The sea carried in the womb, how hilarious! Wonderful write Claudia!
Hank
Even in nonsense we find metaphor and a (sort of) meaning. I like this one a lot!
very nice write…i am impressed with how tight this is…neat images.
a fun bit of avant garde hygiene and philosophy – wonderful!
I like the idea of tracing back life through toothpaste (or is it the mint?), “the sea as carried in its womb” evokes so much. Wonderful, Claudia. Just wonderful. Thank you.
I love both the poem and the accompanying artwork. Excellent.
The sea in one’s mouth and many wombs, thanks k.
Quirky and fun!
Love it – it made me smile and giggle.
Anna :o]