brushing teeth



a mint-splash hint
of fresh
the sea
as carried in its womb
as we move
along each twin’s erected
to trace back life
long after our decay


at dVerse today Björn wants us to write true avant-garde in the spirit of Gertrude Stein…focusing mainly on sound and simple objects and doing our own verbal cubism…doors open at 3pm EST


37 responses to “brushing teeth

  1. Very clever, Claudia. Hopefully there is not too much decay among the ‘cubes,’. At least not until our demise. Avante-garde indeed.

  2. its that last line that carries the weight of feeling for me…
    there is a freshness in the opening….the brushing teeth…and the ocean…that contrasts nice with the heaviness of that last line, for me.

  3. I too like the freshness of the mint and the sea and how it is contrasted with the decay at the very end. You have also infused your poem with energy with the rhythm you evoke. Off to brush my teeth!

  4. Amazing how those teeth last if we care for them … twins, all. I love the sketch and how the poem evokes the freshness of brushing and brushed teeth–mint, the sea foam, the after taste. Fun and lovely poem.

  5. Interestingly, the poem is not balanced for me without your sketch, where the 90 dg. angle of your elbow nicely added to equilibrium of poem. :)x

  6. Oh yeah, we all found brevity midst the verbal cubism, & that is a minty breath of freshness; especially for the likes of old verbose story-telling poets like me. Nice to see some more of your art, as you rock steady but gently; liked the lines /the sea/as carried in its womb/ & like Brian, I think the last line is killer.

  7. Wonderfully full of a self-evident meaning that … er … isn’t actually there. But oh, the concepts! 🙂

  8. I like the idea of tracing back life through toothpaste (or is it the mint?), “the sea as carried in its womb” evokes so much. Wonderful, Claudia. Just wonderful. Thank you.