the day i returned
was cloudy
and the music played loud
i stood in a moment
i didn’t belong
anywhere
forever
wondering if the music
could be mine
and if the walls would go
when i touch them
you weren’t even there
and i never told
how far i traveled
on my own
.
over at dVerse Gay Cannon is hosting a Pantoum Form prompt…so if you want to learn a new form and are eager to get some decent feedback, you should def. check it out..
jaywalking the moon 
What a wonderful write. As I am about to return home after 25 years, this poem has more meaning..
“i stood in a moment
i didn’t belong”
I just adore the way you put words together. You are like a chef with words. Yum.
“and i never told how far i traveled on my own” … Sometimes that’s a good thing. Is it for you? Or should you have told?
This is my favorite part: “and if the walls would go when i touch them”
I stood in the moment..I didn’t belong…anywhere…I have felt that in my life…what a great write.
I liked this, though I thought you could add a few joining words to help the rhythm and flow. I hope you don’t mind me saying.
I suspect the words of this poem will strike many of us in different ways because of the universal feelings you’ve capture in the poem. Bravo!
Claudia, really wonderful. The spacing is as close to perfection as one could replicate in verse. If I were to start that youtube show I’ve been talking about this week, this would absolutely make it in Best of the week. Really, love it, read it a couple times now. Perhaps I’ll write a pantoum tomorrow when I get some free time, I’ve always liked the form. Thanks for the write
Wonderful piece. “I stood in a moment I didn’t belong” was a wonderful line.
Just don’t stand there too long, might get lost..haha
i wonder if the walls would move if i touch them…very cool line…i stood int eh moment i did not belong…very nice as well…still hearing the music…lots of great touches in here…and strength found in traveling alone>
I like this moment of reflection:
i didn’t belong
anywhere
forever
Travelling alone is good sometimes.
I am certain you can master any form. I liked this one. A little sad, short and so you.
A TRAIL ON THE PALM
How far doesn’t matter
When time and distance avoid themselves
There’s only one single return
Poets call it the beautiful journey
Back to the deepness
Crossing firestorms of ice
Walking through desert fields
Hypnotising seas of wonder
Just to see the colour of their eyes
Dancing under your skin
Crystal flesh of the wind
This tremendous inner caress
(a rememberance of this one : http://www.cavafy.com/poems/content.asp?id=74&cat=1 )
I could really feel that sense of wonder about belonging and finding your place.
“I stood in a moment I didn’t belong” is such an excellent line. You could take that in more than one way.
Is this one on the board? I think I saw it? I’ll look. Nice to see you on Instagram, sister!
You evoke the disconnection so wonderfully in line spacing, rhythm, words. K
I think I’m gonna need to you write about five poems a day. I’m totally into you and get so excited to see that you’ve posted a new one. You’re slipping too quickly to the end of my blogroll; it’s now been too long since you’ve last written. 😦
“i stood in a moment
i didn’t belong
anywhere
forever”
what is there to say? exquisite!
creates a very nice mood!