on returning

the day i returned
was cloudy

and the music played loud

i stood in a moment
i didn’t belong



wondering if the music
could be mine

and if the walls would go
when i touch them

you weren’t even there

and i never told
how far i traveled

on my own

over at dVerse Gay Cannon is hosting a Pantoum Form prompt…so if you want to learn a new form and are eager to get some decent feedback, you should def. check it out..


18 responses to “on returning

  1. “and i never told how far i traveled on my own” … Sometimes that’s a good thing. Is it for you? Or should you have told?

    This is my favorite part: “and if the walls would go when i touch them”

  2. Claudia, really wonderful. The spacing is as close to perfection as one could replicate in verse. If I were to start that youtube show I’ve been talking about this week, this would absolutely make it in Best of the week. Really, love it, read it a couple times now. Perhaps I’ll write a pantoum tomorrow when I get some free time, I’ve always liked the form. Thanks for the write

  3. i wonder if the walls would move if i touch them…very cool line…i stood int eh moment i did not belong…very nice as well…still hearing the music…lots of great touches in here…and strength found in traveling alone>


    How far doesn’t matter
    When time and distance avoid themselves
    There’s only one single return
    Poets call it the beautiful journey
    Back to the deepness
    Crossing firestorms of ice
    Walking through desert fields
    Hypnotising seas of wonder
    Just to see the colour of their eyes
    Dancing under your skin
    Crystal flesh of the wind
    This tremendous inner caress

    (a rememberance of this one : http://www.cavafy.com/poems/content.asp?id=74&cat=1 )

  5. I could really feel that sense of wonder about belonging and finding your place.

    “I stood in a moment I didn’t belong” is such an excellent line. You could take that in more than one way.

  6. I think I’m gonna need to you write about five poems a day. I’m totally into you and get so excited to see that you’ve posted a new one. You’re slipping too quickly to the end of my blogroll; it’s now been too long since you’ve last written. 😦