a father to so many fatherless including me

the thing with real good dragons is,
you never see them
though they leave their traces in the most amazing ways

i still got this email by you, written in a code
that i have to decrypt yet

one part is suggestions
for my profile pic on fb
cause you didn’t like the one i used,
another part about connections
you were masterful with sensing what goes on

you would’ve loved
the gnarly bookshop man in that hidden place in Venice
keeper of a million stories, waiting
to be told

&i wished that it was you, playing Vivaldi
in that chapel at San Marco square

you told me you were standing in a creek once
playing a duet with that famous sax guy
that i told you i have seen in concert


i have crossed a million those last days,
none as big though as the one you took
and i imagine you up there,
having a joyful party with our dad

i changed my profile pic
not before weighing carefully if you would like it
&i’m still owing you a kiss
that i promise you will get

once i make it there


For my dear friend Steve Elsaesser who died unexpectedly last sunday
He was one of the most amazing, warm-hearted and giving people i have ever met without ever meeting him in person
Rest in peace friend


14 responses to “a father to so many fatherless including me

  1. Nice. I am sure he would appreciate, and say it was nearly as good as getting that kiss. Ha. Oh I imagine that he is living it up, playing his fiddle right about now. Perhaps even riding his scooter – I will have to think of him when I see shooting stars now. I too look forward to one day, seeing him again.

    Thanks C.

  2. Claudia, I do remember Steve…but hadn’t seen him in a while. I used to enjoy his poems too when he shared him. I loved the Vivaldi reference, as I remember him saying once he walked through a train playing his violin. This poem is very touching. We don’t have to meet someone in person for them to impact our lives. I am so sorry for your loss.

  3. This touched me deeply and I definitely understand your connection to this person you know through blogging. I feel such a closeness to so many, including you–even though we did meet too briefly.

  4. This beautiful tribute must make his adjustment to a new life so much easier. I am sorry for your loss and thoroughly understand the connection we can have with some, though we’ve never met them. I’ll have to check out your fb picture.

  5. Oh I saw it on that poem by X.. and yes I like that connection with bridges, and that man in the bookshop.. I remember Steve, though I have not seen him in a long while. Friends we make through blogging are as real as friends we meet for real…

  6. This is a lovely tribute…we really do get connected to people through blogging..I remember I was having a rough time and wrote in a poem “it only hurts when I cry” and his comment “IT ONLY HURTS WHEN I CRY–or LAUGH…he understood the pain. We had a signature message for a bit …and I am sure he has found Peace & Light..so heartbreaking. I do believe he is in the sky world enjoying some music.