how it feels// if you feel//someone’s watching

Posted on by claudia

a little girl cuts grey&chewing cows
from a picture book with dog-eared pages
&i put them in an autumn-drunken landscape
paper-maché for the road ahead–
winding wild&headstrong like i on my worse days
with the peaceful attitude of rivers though

that have seen too much to worry

“first time you walked through these company doors” he says
“i was impressed.
you wore a black suit, brown boots, still can see it
hair cut really short, you were very straight-forward,
professional &–“

“–did i seem unfriendly?”

“no” he grins “just very organized//effective–“

flaShbaCk– last week– it is strange
if someone tells you how they saw you
years back&

sometimes landscapes do this to me
after four hours driving nonstop in a company car,
Bavaria, childhood places spread out like a picnic rug
&i wear heels instead of rubber boots,
grey skirt, scent of–
shorter days

the mountains look like giant’s dents
when someone has forgotten to remove the toothpaste
&i understand the urge to//

give them names
to climb
&presS your cheeks against their breast
rope and ring
swallowing the fear of being eaten

later i sit in a street-café //woolen overknees,
thick scarf
my breath, powdered sugar
on an fruitjuice splattered sun

&i don’t want
to draw
or talk but move my face
towards the fading lightrays
inches
from the fragrance of the past
&call my mom

to say i made it
safe

.

seeing the things around us with fresh eyes – that’s the theme for MTB at dVerse today… doors open at 3pm EST..

40 responses to “how it feels// if you feel//someone’s watching”

  2. It seems like we have a connection – that travels through the ether to alert us of when eyes are upon us. Perhaps we outgrow it at our peril.

  3. Time and living in a different place certainly provide hindsight for looking at things afresh and appreciate them differently. There are many cool and striking lines in your poem, Claudia. And although I can understand your not wanting to draw, I am sure you would have produced a wonderful sketch. “my breath, powdered sugar
    on an fruitjuice splattered sun’ – one of my favorite lines.

  4. It would be interesting, I think, to ask people how they saw you for the first time, but then again a bit frightening as well — as I think we all have our fears. And yes, I know what you mean about landscapes too…I was in home home town a couple weeks ago, wished to stop over to visit my mom (but someone else has lived in the family home for years now) and some memories came flooding back. And thinking of the fragrance of the past…..in my mind I smell chocolate chip cookies, though I haven’t baked them or had my mom’s for a long, long time. Enjoyed this, Claudia.

  5. Have you ever been shocked on your daily commute to work to suddenly be aware of a statue, a Chinese laundry, a broken gate, faded graffiti, a dead cat dead for several days devoured by crows, & it is as if you have never seen them before, never focused on them with those “new eyes”; we wear straight-ahead horse harness blinders too much of the time; terrific prompt, dear lady. Loved your lines /my breath, powdered sugar/on a fruitjuice splattered sun/. In all a terrific poem, both touching & revealing.

  6. Oh, I love this..you take in the moments so deliciously ..and there is that stream of consciousness that connects us with a different time, oh, the possibilities of the mind.

  7. autumn-drunken landscape
    paper-maché for the road ahead….smiles….cool blend of description and texture….it is interesting to hear first impressions of when people met you…I would wonder too hold they might change over time…the fruit juice spattered sun, ha, cool….love that last bit as well…

  10. It seems others always see you better that prove our passion to perfection and self critique…Love the mountains image, haven’t seen them for years… ~ thanks for the prompt x

  11. on your worse days
    with the peaceful attitude of rivers – love that… traveling will def bring a fresh perspective, also bring about old memories while making new ones… smiles. awe, calling your mom to let her know u made it safe; my mom tells me to let her know even if I’m only 5 minutes away; I used to think it was silly, but now I know it’s just cause she cares.

  14. I specially like autumn drunken landscape and powdered sugar on an fruitjuice splattered sun ~ It would be interesting to know how people see you for the first time ~ Enjoy your trip ~

  21. Ahh.. the love connection of life.. when we know we matter.. and then we connect more and more.. to let the others know.. they matter too.. and the beat goes on and on and ONE IN LOVE..:)

    THE eyes are watching in the background.. we feel them in our heart.. before we see… them.. and then we know..

    the Magick of love.. The real Magick of Life and LOVE TRUE!..:)

    With smiles.. and laughs.. too..;);)1!And a Hug..now and then…2……..

  22. There is not the slightest flutter of sound or sight that escaps you. I feel that there is always poetry in your surroundings, or that you make it so, or show it to be. A unique collage, again, of ideas inspired by the backdrop of life. Always an intricate pleasure to read.

  27. How we miss ordinary things right in front of the eyes just because they are so ordinary. Only fond memories of these things or places can make them appear big and important again. Very true Claudia!

    Hank

  30. The way you intertwined a present scene with a memory from your childhood is really cool. My favorite line is “scent of shorter days”. That’s a clever way of saying that winter is coming but much more interesting than saying, “Winter is coming.” Nicely done.

  34. You blended the “fresh look” with the past and present – the emotional with the physical landscape – and I really liked it. Well done!

  36. Memories and what is attached to them can be odd at times whether it is our own or someone else’s for no two people remember the same thing the same way. We always seem to someone else so different than what we remember of ourselves. I so like the way you bring what seems to be out of focus into focus and understand what it is that grounds you. Nice.