to be seen//between star wars & a man with seven sons

the thing with planetary systems is,
they have their own laws
you’ve heard about
in stories told by white bearded men
pool-deep eyes

yet you grew up
along the rim
of different galaxies,

he looks at me
across a cramped full dance floor

“wanna dance?”

“what?” i
don’t even know him//why–
“nah, sorry, i’m a lousy dancer.”

“ah, come on” (winning smile)

“hey, i’m invisible” i say
“you cannot even see me”

“but i do”

the thing is, i’m not blond, looong legs,
blue-big-lashes-heavy eyes
nor tall (or sexy), usually

i’m outside, under a dark canopy,
in work pants//tending sheep
as nights throws glittering stars
upon me

scratching marks in desert sand,
visible for just a moment
string-pick melodies  that glide
on cobalt/blue/winds— inside

Samuel, in Jesse’s house
is searching for the king,
(staff and oil jar in his hands)

& cannot find him


written for OLN at dVersePoets – doors open at 3pm EST


59 responses to “to be seen//between star wars & a man with seven sons

  1. dont sell yourself too short….you are not too invisible…smiles. but you know those things are not what matters in the grand scheme of things. and those are not usually the ones chosen. its the misfits, the rejects that are made the cornerstones. love the touch of the story of samuel there in the end.

  2. I’m sure you’re frequently asked to dance – don’t have to be blond, tall or sexy. You have your own charm. I enjoyed reading this. I felt the night, the stars and the words formed a little fairy tale for me.

  3. “We could have danced all night…”
    Girl you danced around the Juniper-berry shrubs in this one.

    Just read that our galaxy is on fast collision course with Andromeda Galaxy, and this should occur in ±4 billion years Actuall, earth will long have been hot as hell (?) for about ¼ billion years–too hot for water, and I guess that means ius–grin!

    Claudia, I realize you needed this information in order to plan the rest of your life. I will not “do this again” in your comment section (until next time!)….

    BTW, dark, brown/black hair and petite women have always been very attractive in my eyes but I never married one like that. I feared their beauty. Does that make sense?

    PEACE and LIGHT, my Friend

  4. Sometimes it is good to feel invisible! I think I’d prefer work duties that involved eating in a restaurant rather than a dance floor. But that’s just me.

  5. … a very sexy write, my friend 🙂 … off and outside I go … middle of the night cattle check … let’s see, what will I wear for the occasion … torn jeans, wool socks, hoodie, snow suit, arctic cat boots … sexxey … smiles.

  6. Feeling invisible is a feeling to await something’s nice coming your way. It is good anticipation irrespective of being brunettes or blondes. Nicely Claudia!


  7. O, divine, can we never see that in ourselves? No. But at least you knew along with Samuel that there was one more! I had to look up the reference, I admit, despite the song in the desert. Claudia, this is among my favorites of your work. It is worthy of an epic like an Odyssey, of singing like a psalm.

  8. Ha, in some situations I prefer to be invisible….like to strangers who come up out of nowhere on a dance floor. (Smiles) But I do think different people find different things attractive; and the tall blonde with long legs might not appeal to all (or perhaps have no interesting conversation to offer). The end of your poem was very contemplative..still thinking about it.

  9. Bah just dance with your invisible friend, that will start a trend lol I like to hide away and be invisible at my bay, can get away with more things haha

  10. Love, love, love this….”scratch pick melodies that glide on cobalt/blue/winds” and that your are a shepherd in a galaxy touching another..smiles..

  11. This is a very strong message poem, & one hopes that the protagonist in it is just some fictional meandering, for surely, a woman, a poet, as sensual as you (& by the way you have shared some photos with us of you in your 20’s, and you were/are quite a dish) are has no business feeling so vulnerable or invisible.

  12. No, you are not invisible ~ I specially like cobalt blue winds & this :
    tending sheep
    as nights throws glittering stars
    upon me

    Oh, I love to dance, smiles ~

  13. Why we think ourselves invisible is beyond me. I’m glad he got you out on the dance floor.

    Love the biblical references.

  14. I love the way you allow us to see you in your poems… and invisible can be a state of mind, I think… smiles… always, I see the glittering stars falling all around your words.

  15. What an effervescent inventive piece. It felt like you were the only two people on a very small planet – or in that scene of a very small planet – with music playing, and stars wheeling, and you disguised in an enigma. I loved it.

  16. I come from a family of shepherds, so this resonates with me, however far removed I am now from the cobalt/blue/winds and stars winking at my sheep… I had to check – my knowledge of the Bible is not that strong – but yes, David was the 8th son and outside tending the sheep, the invisible, right?

  17. Another interesting write Claudia. You have a knack for getting the reader to look right and then shift things to the left at the end when no one is looking. I liked the allusion at the end. >KB

  18. I love the conflation in this, as two stories become/are one. Especially like the reference to Samuel asking Jesse of his sons, the youngest who tends sheep. Interesting, like how it all works together.

  19. Lady, you can never be invisible – you shine too brightly. Loved the perspective – being invisible, which is how so many of us feel so often, you captured that perfectly, and that wonderful moment, when that special person with the right perspective finally sees you. So wonderful, this is.

  20. the echoing invisibility is a strong thread through your pen, Claudia. the gap between the seen and unseen, and the emotions that fill it – well done ~

  21. “‘hey, i’m invisible’ i say
    ‘you cannot even see me’”

    I think I’ll have to remember this line in the future. I also like the opening and the idea of “growing up along the rim of different galaxies.”

  22. Wonderful thing about so many people–they all have different ideas of beauty. So nice have someone find the beauty in those that aren’t “text book” beautiful.

  23. But that’s the cool thing about beauty…it’s what God sees in the heart that matters most. I agree with Victoria…this is one of my favourites of yours.

  24. Well..David is one of my favorites ones..and sons..and i’m pretty sure he would dance with ya..if he could..:)
    He’s not looking for anything particular

    on the outside..i think…

    and yes i love to think..about scratching..the reflections of stars in sand..

    and next thing ya know..there is a letter alphabet..’angeled’
    from a star..connection..
    in SkEyE

  25. I felt like I went on differen journeys with you. The moment you realized you are not invisible to him was my fave part. I love that you told you were invisible and he said I can see you. Great piece!

  26. yap thats what we get for being inside ourselves for not having to go for our wish……….. I know that…….. I wanted to dance never got that chance to dance with my love………………. and will never get i suppose

  27. What a delightful piece-so many lies stood out for me-“yet you grew up
    along the rim
    of different galaxies,” and “hey, i’m invisible” i say
    “you cannot even see me”-also,”as nights throw glittering stars”-fabulous!

  28. I don’t think it is the long legs and perfect hair that make people visible (or sexy)! Still, sometimes, that is all people see because that’s all they’ve been told to see. As always, I enjoyed your creative twists and turns, Claudia!

  29. “nor tall (or sexy), usually” I love the “usually”, masterfully placed as if to acknowledge we all do have a moment of sexiness beyond our “work pants”.