never/everland/beyond– the tower

People swear, there are towers in her eyes. That’s just half the truth though,
balancing from this to that side, she adjusts, balloon in hand, sprayed wall always to her left.

“Left” is what’s written in her palm as well.
She can’t remember how it got there, ferro on the tongue taste.

Besides, her french is hard to understand,
as if wind blows through a scaffold and all screws and bars vibrate at once.

Today she found a cloud,
buried in a puddle with crimson nylon stockings and two cigarette butts.

There was no way to save it.

.
Linking up with Friday Fictioneers where we write 100 word fiction to a photo of the Eiffel tower by Douglas MacIlroy

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37 responses to “never/everland/beyond– the tower

  1. I guess some days you can’t save everything, no matter how strong you are… that’s the feeling I get from this…I really love the imagery I can see and feel it. Really enjoyed this one Claudia. 🙂

    • smiles… i’m answering this with henry thoreau’s words that you cited on the prompt…
      “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
      i did have something in mind when i wrote it, but prefer to let people interpret the way they see it.. does this make sense..?
      and thanks again for the warm welcome… enjoyed what i read so far…

      • Claudia, I appreciate your response, allowing each to interpret as they will. I make images with my iPhone, often abstract. I’ll write a piece along with the image and quite often the words and image don’t seem to match up and yet, it’s not always what you see but how you feel….

  2. What vivid language.. this was very intriguing writing. I’m left with an image of loss and despair.. the wind through the scaffold is certainly a very intriguing way to describe her french.. the balloon in her hand is a contrast that make me think of mental illness…

  3. Ha. (That is directed at the comments–not the piece, which I thought quite sad, really). For me, there was quite a strong meaning, well-conveyed. But as a City person, I may think in different terms. Great to see you writing in prose, Claudia, which works very well for you. k.

  4. there is a bit of mystery and magic in this…the left on her palm…the finding a cloud in the dross, bittersweet being unable to save it…i think you do wonderful with prose, just saying….smiles.

  5. I see a woman who is broken…either from mental illness or dementia…but those towers in the eyes…she still has her pride! Not sure if this is the direction you were going or not, but a lovely story!

  6. Hey, Claudia…trying to unencrypt your story…each and every line makes sense to me….seems I know how you got there…releasing is good, so cloude is good, and even better to let go some rain…hugs

  7. I love these lines…Today she found a cloud,
    buried in a puddle with crimson nylon stockings and two cigarette butts….Hope you had a merry Christmas and wishing you a Happy New Year.

  8. I read this as a personification of the Eiffel Tower and all she stands for…such an icon of French culture. In a way she stands in for the people. I especially liked the lines where she “speaks.” Anyway, that’s how I read it.

  9. This piece of writing reminds me of Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s works. It is almost surreal. I pity the cloud that cannot be saved. 🙂
    Merry Christmas and a happy new year, Claudia.

  10. There is so much cool stuff happening here. Love it. So many avenues for interpretation, like a Rorschach test–how one reads it can say so much about the reader. Is narrator victim? Insouciant? Will she be saved? Anyway, poor cloud.

  11. I feel great melancholy in your words, impassive and unacknowledged. The image of the balloon and the description of her french and also the end is intriguing. I am still trying to find a way into her world to gain a better understanding of your words.

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