yep– when no one watches& //she doesn’t even use her wings

 the wind talks with a forest mouth
(bigLeaf teeth)

—–freeHand
————–on her bike
weFlyTowardTheSky hair–

she brEAThes sunRise

eggplants & tomatoes rub
plasticCrinkled shoulders in her basket

&i yell across the bridge of spinning wheels

“these Kids wiLL LoVE you!!”

(her reply gets eaten by the wind),
head back– sheLaughs,

& spreads her arms

———–a little wider

.

my daughter’s next teacher semester will be an internship at a secondery school.. and i know she will be doing great.. smiles

bri (whose birthday it is today…smiles) has us write 55’s today which means: tell a story in exactly 55 words… have a go.. the dVerse pub doors open at 3pm EST and what about linking your 55 with Gman as well.. smiles

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61 responses to “yep– when no one watches& //she doesn’t even use her wings

  1. This felt so carefree and easy going, like I could keep reading if it kept going for more than 55 words and not have a care in the world 🙂 Did that even make sense? lol. “she brEAThes sunRise–” nice! I loved this one Claudia!

  2. Oh Claudia, it will be a few days before I get that image of the forest’s big leafy grin out of my mind! An excellent story-poem.
    For your daughter, bon courage et bonne chance! Not that she needs it.

  3. “These kids will love you!” Great way to commemorate your daughter’s teaching semester. Loved the carefree, daring girl flying on her bike… “and she doesn’t even use her wings” made me smile SO wide! Amy

  4. ..’ the wind talks with a forest mouth’ — i love love love this line Claudia… good start of a read & i wish i’d written that line… aww… i know the feel… when i first had my internship all the nerves were present in me & it was like crazy & a big deal or at least for me back then… had my internship in a bank & in one government office that concerns on protection of natural resources & environment… had fun on both…ha… your daughter will do great… for sure… i became a volunteer catechist during high school so somehow i know how hard to capture the attention & interest of your students without getting them feel bored… ha… smiles… loved this Claudia…

  5. I absolutely loved the “she breathes sunshine” line, besides the fact that the whole poem is very nice, vivid, like a warm,pleasent breeze.

  6. I too like that first line as well as ‘the bridge of spinning wheels.’. I chuckled over the eggplants and tomatoes. And I could well picture the windy conversation at the end; and indeed I am sure the kids will love her too.

  7. great opening line claudia….the leaf mouth as well…ha….i feel the wind and freedom that comes riding on a bike…i am sure that she will do wonderful. secondary school is probably the hardest for me, we call it middle school if its the same….pre-teens and early teens….oy…ha. and thank you friend…smiles.

  8. the title makes me smile…and already from here goes this lightness in your story…images in forest accompanied with leaves and wind…sunrise…flying bike…crossing the bridge aka moving to next stage of her life, your daughter waving … great successes to her! …only 55 words? 🙂

  9. I’m always besides the point, when commenting on your posts, I know, I know 🙂
    because I get stuck on one precious line … this time it’s about the free hand bicycling … o, how I remember the days of riding 5 km to and fro school … freihaendig in order to hold hands with Lars … Europe 1971 🙂 … yummy …

  10. Golden kudos for this one, Claudia; another perfect example of your poetic prowess. The poem stands leagues above others, and we are never aware that you give us so much in so few words; the mark of real talent. Following Brian’s lead, I have written several Flash 55s for G-Man in the past, but none of them ever had the gusto, passion, & panache of this poem; congrats.

  11. Claudia really loves her bike
    and I really love her write!
    Keep spreading those arms wide and wider!

    Psssst! I have a “55” for today’s celeBRAtIon….(Thanks for the tip!)

  12. so caught up in the whimsy of your words Claudia~
    “weFlyTowardTheSky hair–”
    eggplants and tomatoes rubbing shoulder, just wonderful~
    best of luck to your daughter!

  13. …..a true story embellished with delightful images as your daughter lives out her journey with her and her mother’s childhood spirits…

  14. “& spreads her arms
    a little wider”
    Oh, to be so young and eager to embrace each new adventure–Many good wishes to your daughter on her next step into the future.

    .

  15. Your words breathe with life Claudia – you have talent indeed. Love the idea of ‘(her reply gets eaten by the wind)’
    Anna :o]

  16. “weFlyTowardTheSky hair”… ADORE that description and it is so reminiscent of my own summertime youth (but my vehicle was a pony 🙂 and that is ONE word, I take it? Ha … I think you will get a pass from Galen as this is perfect.

    I’m sure your daughter is a fine teacher if she has even half the playfulness that you do. 🙂

  17. definitely a moment to record for posterity. Teaching is perhaps the most important job in the world – shaping the minds and character of young people is such a responsibility, but so rewarding too.

  18. Super lovely energy and exuberance here, Claudia – and great jumps as always. Good luck to your daughter – I am sure the kids will love her, as you say. k.

  19. I think in snippets of thought, so this made a lot of sense. Very “Lucy in the Sky” in its brilliance. Now excuse me while I go smell the plasticine flowers. Nicely expressed, Claudia!

  20. Danke Claudia…
    Welcome back to the Funfest.
    As always your poem was perfect and very cool
    Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

  21. This is the epitome of exhilaration! What a write Claudia. And in only 55 words. You wove so much emotion into this. It left a smile on my face.. sincerely. Loved the big leaf teeth- I can see the wind’s teeth grinning now.
    Quite loved
    weFlyTowardTheSky hair–
    she brEAThes sunRise

    Grand stuff. Awesome about your daughter, too. :smiles:

  22. Love this. Isn’t it wonderful to watch them soar. Best of luck to your daughter. This poem is one huge proud-mama smile. Thank you.