a mixed emotion tape–

my son tim - drawing by anna

my son tim, age 3 / drawing by anna

.

he’s grown with him,
a penguin rapper, black pea eyes—
metal bead around his neck, dressed stylo
in a ski cap
“you take him with you—?”

“sure mom”
“tv?”
“no– i get one from a friend”
old chewing gums and scattered pass sheets,
“really, you should file ’em–”
“hmmm– i know”

his dad, screwdriver in hand, says
“this side: rubbish” &
“can someone mark the boards?”
“need to despatch those wheel rims”
“go & pack em”

& i take his portrait from the wall,
drawn by a friend,
run my fingers over it
as if too feel his smile
echoing through each inch ofSkin

“B careful not 2 lose this”
shhhlk–chssk–slide
i put it on the copier
as2 capture time N blackNwhite
breathe twice–

&start the engine

.

smiles… my son moved out today… it’s good to see them spread their wings.. still an emotional moment as well…oy… he’s moving only a few blocks away…so… think he will pop in when his fridge is empty or so.. smiles…

we’re writing twitter poetry at dVerse today— means each stanza has to have 140 characters (good thing is to write it in the twitter box cause it counts automatically) see you at 3pm EST when Sam unlocks the doors…

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53 responses to “a mixed emotion tape–

  1. hugs…i know it is with mixed feelings tht you watch him leave…fun to see them take flight (can penguins fly? smiles) but also the letting go…and good on you for helping him out…the bit on the pic is touching…even the penguin rapper…i am sure he will be fine…

    now keep yourself busy today….smiles.
    shalom

  2. Gosh, I can only imagine the parental mixed feelings you portray here (having neither had parents to see me leave “home”, nor having any kids myself).

  3. Awww, bless! I just put mine on a plane by themselves for their holidays 2 days ago and was all choked with tears. We are so sensible about letting them spread their wings, and yet…
    Twitter poetry, eh? How brief can you go?

  4. Yeah those wings have to be spread indeed. But must be tough at ones feed. At least when they are all out you can walk around naked again lol

  5. Glad he’s not moving far. Still, it’s so sad to know that childhood is def over, at least within the pace of expectations. Inside, he’ll always be your baby. Love that drawing and of course, your poem.

  6. You ain’t afraid of no 140 character stanzas; fine job with the form, and wasn’t it a hoot to do? Love the maternal warmth of this piece; remembering the day each of my three daughters left the nest; one on east coast, two nearby.

  7. Oh my goodness–a precious drawing and one of those moments where you feel at loose ends. I know the feeling well. My oldest moved out too, and is nearby–it’s nice to have them there. And after a bit, it feels kind of nice to have that space too 😉 (both physical and emotional…)

  8. Sad or glad? Neither is best. I sad for those who experience these type situations, as it leaves them with loittle or nothing to do. Thankfully, you have a job, travel sometimes, very active girl (biking). You have friends, a whole squadron of them on-line. And writing, and poetry…OMG! Will you have time to do all these things?

    YESSS! And you will relish those visits, however frequent or infrequent. And the world relishes that you have sent someone into it, fully prepared to make his own decisions, to learn, to live, and to love.

    PEACE and LIGHT

  9. C’est la vie. !! It’s nice to see them grow…but, it’s sad when they fly out of the nest. Yes, surely he’s going to pop in every now and then…You’ll enjoy having him more then..Wishing him all the best 🙂
    Great piece. And writing in the tweeter box is a great idea 🙂

  10. Ouch! Yeah! All the contradictory emotions that come when you’ve completed a big “project.” A dash of pride and the sadness of loss, of letting go–all at once. All in 140 Character stanzas. Wow.

  11. I can only hope to one day be a mother but as others have said it comes with such heavy mixed emotions. But what a blessing at the same time. You capture this feeling well here.

  12. First, hugs as the hands of time move in another direction..one thing about life it is always changing..I enjoyed reading your thoughts.

  13. Oh such an emotional poem… it’s such a hard time, letting them go off into the world and yet it’s such a proud moment. You capture it well in especially tracing the drawing to feel his smile…lovely! 🙂

  14. How fast they can outgrow the complicated apron strings. Still have one more with us but he’s already making moves to go. Life would then be drastically different. Great write Claudia!

    Hank

  15. Ha, at least you are not happy he is moving out. Smiles. Yes, he will be close enough…and parents’ refrigerator CAN always come in handy. Loved the little sketches of the process of leaving. And the picture of him at age 3. They grow WAY too fast.

  16. Nice, emotional poetry here Claudia. My son just turned 5 yesterday; it’s frightening and the most pride-inducing thing watching your children truly grow.

  17. Great capture here – each in 140. I think it’s heartbreaking when a child moves out. At least you have your husband with you. Lovely lines and heartfelt.

  18. …first, i think your son looked exactly you when he was 3 based on that illustration… hihi…

    ..your poem bring sadness to me Claudia… the whole piece itself & this line: ‘ think he will pop in when his fridge is empty or so..’ it’s like reading a story of an aged mother… & i mean it in a good way… smiles…

  19. So good to write of our milestone experiences– like taking photos of emotions. Someday you will read this and remember so fondly of this time. Congrats to your son on taking that flight! peace, Jason

  20. All the little details come into greater significance as we try to capture time. Wonderful snippet of life, moving out and moving on.

  21. Nice to read that your son’s taken off on his own, even nicer to read that he’s still close by so you’ll see him often. Life moves on–and you’ve written a sensitive commemoration of the very big step.

  22. “he’s grown with him,
    a penguin rapper, black pea eyes—
    metal bead around his neck, dressed stylo
    in a ski cap
    “you take him with you—?”

    “sure mom”

    …Before I read your poem…I didn’t know where you was heading, but after reading your poem…Thanks, for sharing a moment between a mother and son…through your poem.
    deedee 🙂

  23. Poignant. You captured that moment perfectly. It’s odd but when mine left home for the first time, I hardly saw them, so taken up in new lives did they become, but now that they are 49 and 50, I see a lot more of them, at least on Skype, and feel more a part of their lives.

    Where would I find a Tweet box to do the counting for me?