terZaRima// just be wise&DoNotTalk to swans too much

you’d think their view on life is white,
weightless & a bit afloat,
(it’s not, & i don’t talk to them too often),
feather downs in windy nights,

waterWet sprinkles on my nose,
rippling wave worms set a yawning pace,
fishes, (wiNkWinKwiNK), belly up along the boat-
side, (nah, not dead– for sun tan reasons)

blowing seed(s), dande(Lions) in your face,
i say, “cycled without helmet to the moon,
once” (true)a tight against the lightspeed race,

the thing with oxygen is– it’s lun(e)-
atic(ly) important & i’m not a mermaid
(tickle me), a seaweed wig (thangGreen) &soSoon

i’m panting– brEATHLesS
anyWay–

.

smiles…my (almost) terza rima sonnet for dVerse where tony serves drinks behind the bar..

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39 responses to “terZaRima// just be wise&DoNotTalk to swans too much

  1. Really enjoyed this. I love playing with the word lunatic too…so much to work with. Sometimes I wonder if your mind is deprived of oxygen…:-) Love your imagination C!

  2. wonderful energy in this claudia….love the word play…the fishes getting a sun tan, ha…oxygen is important…lol…love dandelions as well…make a wish…playful piece…and form so well disguised…

  3. Ha, and I am breathless as I read your poem, Claudia. Smiles. I love the ‘w’ sound repeated throughout & also the word play. Very clever and fun poem.

  4. Wow, you really know how to be daring with a form. The terza rima is in there, but it took me a couple of reads to tease it out … smiles. I love the energy, the imagination, the word-play … and I wish I could write like this.

  5. swan’s down rather than eider down

    very avant garde 🙂
    Charlie’s mate Champagne Claudia I suppose.
    Love the sun-tan reasons belly up.
    Are you sure?

    If this isn’t stream of consciousness, I don’t what is.

  6. Claudia, do not EVER become breathless–you BREATHE poetry, while talking to swans?

    What did @Jerry (above) write? “…deprived of oxygen…”? I read that as “…sometimes your mind is depraved”. (Which maybe also be true, HAHAH!)
    Love Life
    Love LOVE

  7. Such a playful tone to the poem and wonderful verbal images that bring smiles and chuckles thinking about private conversations with swans.

  8. As stated, this poem is tickle-me sweetly fun to read, to experience, and as Tony wrote, we all wish that on one day a month we could write like you, or Brian, or Tony, or even me on a good day. Our individual styles embellish the divers lives they touch, through personality and wordsmithing. Yours is as personal as your underwear, sweet lace and perfumed hearts.

  9. Beautiful as always, Claudia. I’ve been out for awhile and am back to my writing. I was so happy to see you’re still at it. Excellent wordplay. 😀

  10. I really feel the lightness of the swans in the water. Your poem creates such a light sense of joy, that I want to just swim with them as they glide so beautifully in the water.

  11. Blow writing Terza Rima, which gave me grief too – what you have written is a fun(ny) poem. I ltoo ove the sunbathing fish. I talk to swans as their majesties – they seem to rule their watery world.

  12. ..as if you are the dandelion seed itself, winging through the atmosphere and what you see from your airspace is quite playful, full of light and divine 😉

  13. loved your go for it1 at the form where the wordplay just seemed to fit in on its own. Swans and fishes, sun tanned…cool imagery and well, just enough to get one breathless! 🙂

  14. …a modernist sonneteer… & a word diva… yep… yep… that’s you Claudia… and i enjoyed your voice in here all throughout… smiles…