catching flies on the lips of a lion

Posted on by claudia

piCture him, like life,
like wrinkled neon tubes,
a path of question marks in both his eyes,

that’s how i meet him on the tram stop,
quarter to eleven, wrung out, late,
he shuffles with a ragged smile

along an aisle, invisible,
an early spring sun though
throws dots & dots & dots

upon him

.

smiles..time for poetics again at dVerse and Fred tends the bar with short verse…doors swing open at 3pm EST 

65 responses to “catching flies on the lips of a lion”

  2. I do love a short verse, it was like a photograph captured in a moment, great descriptive wording. Love it!

  5. Dot’s so nice, Claudia! Seems to be influx of pieces about old men lately. so…since it is always about me, I may ask, how do you conjure these scintillating titles?

    Whatever! Another typically GOOD WRITE from!!! you, German Girl.

  6. …your title is very catchy and made me think a lot Claudia… and getting there late — what one would expect..? good for him, could still smile after all… smiles… so are we writing in short verses? any particular subject to focus with? how short is short? guess i’ll wait ’til 3… smiles…

    • “catching flies on the lips of a lion”
      “piCture him, like life,
      like wrinkled neon tubes,
      a path of question marks in both his eyes…”

      …I must say that your poetic words [in your short verse] are very descriptive too!… as you, ask your readers, to piCture him…

      [Just a thought: I<3 your poetry it remind me Of clean, white linen blowing on a line in the Summer sun.]
      deedee 🙂

  9. Nice capture here, Claudia! Question marks in both eyes makes me wonder what he is thinking about. He definitely seems to be an enigma, like so many people we meet for a brief moment in time!

  11. smiles…nice…some realy cool elements in this…the dots of light…its like everyday magic….like your description of his eyes as well…you give us a feel for him in a tight little verse…i find people so interesting….

  13. really nice Claudia. Love how you were able to paint the picture and the scene so vividly with the short verse. Should be a lot of fun tonight. Thanks

  15. I s’pose this is a man, but I see the lion itself, walking through the crowd invisible to him, the question marks the way the wrinkles look along his eyes, the amble like what is left of his memory on the path. The Narrator barely sees him in dots, barely moving, already dead, a nesting place for flies. How the mighty have fallen!

  17. The title sure caught my attention. Sounds a little dangerous. Guess he is a lion sometimes, but while on the train, he’s forced to catch flies, to let the sun dot and dot him. Made me think of how I would study people on the subway in New York. This may be a short verse but it’s long in imagination and meaning. Have a good weekend Claudia.

  21. And this denotes success outside the norm as well for me.

    Anything, even with a whiff of lion, melts my resistance.

  25. Awesome Claudia. Love the “throws dots dots dots upon him” – it made me pause, and re-read it- I like poetry that gives such vivid imagery that you simply have to not to re-read it but it inspires you to grab your pwn to write as well 🙂

  28. I knew you’d ace this prompt Claudia 🙂 You always paint such vivid images with your verse. And your titles … just inspired.

  31. Magic stuff Claudia – read it again and again.

    Such skills in wordsmithery you have Gal!

    Anna :o]

  33. love the dots…because the o is a little like a dot

    can so picture the person you are meeting

  35. I thought I commented already, BUT must not have. Loved the entire neon bit twisted visual. I could tell you how i can relate, but better not. Very kool take on short verse.

  38. I like the description of the question marks in his eyes and the dappled (dotted) sunlight making a pattern on him. And how you write your observations of life…so cool.

  39. “along an aisle, invisible,
    an early spring sun though
    throws dots & dots & dots

    upon him”

    Your words, so descriptive. Can just picture this so well. Great capture. Well penned in it’s brevity!

  43. Spring is coming … I feel the urge to travel … leaving my own family behind …” it’s okay, mummer”, they say … they have said that year after year … I explained why I have to travel come Spring, but they will never understand fully … Jelem,, Jelem, Romale … I’ll be torn forever between them, and my heritage calling …

  45. “a path of question marks in both his eyes,” That was my favourite line in your poem. For some reason it manages to be both magical and realistic. Many thanks, I really enjoyed your short poem.

    Greetings from London.

  47. GIRL! Did you and Brian decide to each write using a FLYas today’s metaphor?
    (or yesterday’s…)

    • SEE/ Why I don’t like WordPress…It doesm’t even know my name!
      Actually, maybe I should have started with XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
      5 years ago. Smiles.

  51. perfectly word-painted pic – & i catch myself once more sighing at the inventiveness of your titles…
    love the “path of question marks in both his eyes”

  54. We meet all kinds on ‘the way to the forum’. It’s good to notice as one may find something new to think about. Nice short poem Claudia!

    Hank

  59. There is a gentleness about the way you have described this man that makes me like him. In your work that I have read, so far, you have a really wonderful way of writing about people that I like.