Logarithms of the ratio or 27 hours to Australia

miri

miri

i hid love- & travel notes
in socks and between t-shirts
in her suitcase, wrapped
with strings of colored ribbon,
almost time to
say goodbye & buried

in my arms she weeps,
boxing with both fists
into her mattress, “i’m so afraid,
don’t wanna go–“, i nod

“i’m always–

 the week before
i went to California, when i
saw a picture of a freeway,
a beach (makes no sense,
i know–), i could’ve vomited”
“you’re kidding” “no–
i was
——-that scared”

& in the fall we grab
pieces of the hem of wind & test
if it will carry us,

her cheek against my chest,
(she’s the kind of girl
that  buys you XL matches
as a christmas present
cause i always burn my fingers,
lighting candles)

“hey” i say “they have snakes &
crocodiles and poisonous spiders,
don’t jump into leaf piles– don’t bike
on the right-hand roadside, &
don’t fall in love
with an australian guy–”

“haha– i’ll try my best”
she wipes her eyes,
“uuuhhuu, don’t cant, don’t cant”

& we’re both smiling

.

smiles..so she left yesterday with a smile on her face and should arrive in Sydney in a bit… linking up with dVerse for OpenLinkNight..see you at 3pm EST…

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87 responses to “Logarithms of the ratio or 27 hours to Australia

  1. I know the feeling … fell for Canadian guy … 30 years ago … agony then … agony now … lovely agony at times … wild and free … nonetheless …

  2. I like this poem very much, Claudia. What a beautiful girl your daughter is. There is so often fear when one is embarking on a new adventure. It is good that you also shared your own fears (about California) with your daughter. So often, I think parents don’t share fears with their children. You obviously (and wonderfully) are not one of those parents. I laughed about your hope that she wouldn’t find an Aussie boyfriend. Yes, well that IS a real fear. LOL. (But just think of wonderful visits you could make if she did….and it TOOK!. Smiles.)

  3. …i wish her safe arrival…. really not an easy thing to go through some goodbyes in life… but in goodbyes we get stronger for we can always look for another hellos in our life… and i just read logarithms? now that’s cool for i have always loved that particular topic in math… hehe…smiles…

  4. smiles…can def hear your heart for her…lov ethe notes…and she will treasure them i am sure while she is gone…she will have a great time as well…good you empathized with her as well…and maybe let her remember a bit of the magic that comes in new places as well…

  5. This is an emotionally rich poem, Claudia, clearly written from the heart. It is so hard to let go – and so hard to leave too. I hope Miri has a great time Down Under, and that she comes back to you safe, but greatly enriched by the experience of the Australian way of life.

  6. It’s hard to launch a life, but she will be fine. She must have some of her mother’s gift for tackling life poetically and with courage. Good luck to her and hope you don’t miss her too much.

  7. Ah, the notes are something she will eventually pass on to daughter or son someday. I know the tug on your heart….right now she is having the time of her life..the best years really…glad you can share and cry and laugh together…
    hope not too long between visits;)

  8. Saying goodbye to loved ones is never easy and that comes through loud and clear in this one. I hope she has a safe journey and remembers to let her mom know she arrived.

  9. love the notes & the sharing of fears… it is hard to take that final jump-off into the unknown, no matter how much one has wished for it

    gorgeous imagery here:
    “& in the fall we grab
    pieces of the hem of wind & test
    if it will carry us,”

  10. Love this… I know how it feels to let your daughter go and feel her clinging and wanting to let go too, you’ve captured this exchange so beautifully.

    & in the fall we grab
    pieces of the hem of wind & test
    if it will carry us,

    Love those lines… just amazing.

  11. The fear of the unknown…Reminds me when i left home to go to the university…A whole new terrifying place beyond… 🙂 Flying away from home is the beginning of a life chapter, like the journey to a new mystic land 🙂 Loved the advices for Australia 🙂 maybe i will use them myself soon 🙂

  12. Gald that you finished the poem with you “both smiling” but know this must be such a bitter-sweet time. Beautifully written. Really liked the way you reprised your previous poem with the notes that you talk about at the start.

  13. So sweet, and understandable. My daughter is working for an NGO in India right now. It’s so different today though with all the acces –

    Such a cute picture and very sweet poem. k.

  14. Ah, an actual REAL smile. It seems to be hard for many people to do that. Camera=pressure or something. She truly looks happy.

  15. “& in the fall we grab
    pieces of the hem of wind & test
    if it will carry us,”

    The wind,love, and plane, will carry. I read this poem without knowing it was a mother daughter poem and smiled at the shared fears and experience, the desire to go and the equal desire to always remain safe, and the gifting of notes and ribbons as a surprise for arrival–so much love!. Seeing it anew as mother-daughter connection, I saw an added level of helping a fledgling leave the nest. Wonderful poem.

  16. It is summer in Australia, so light clothes are called for. The people are lovely, but beware the sun, the flies, & the sharks; spent 13 week there as an actor in 1977; would have liked to have stayed. Learned to drive on the left; freaky to return to LA with that mindset.

  17. There is a certain fear that comes with travel…fear of the unknown, I guess. But from what I know, you navigated those California freeways just fine…and I learned to drive on them. They still terrify me at times.

  18. Oh, these are the defining moments in their lives…. Good for you for encouraging her to move past her fears…. And yours…. 🙂 my daughter went a few years back, a fabulous experience for her.
    P.s., she’s a beauty!

  19. I’d say that’s a letter of love..for her. Oh, I’m not there yet, a ways away for me. So many stages with kids which your life eases through. Good luck Clauda..she can always read your poetry n now with communication everywhere, that should make it BETTER!!!

  20. You hit me right in my mommycenter. I just wanted to go hug my sleeping babies and be glad that this moment is still at least 10 years away for me. Lovely poem, lovely thought, and very well expressed!

  21. Hey Claudia

    a perfect follow up to last weeks piece . . . it was a tough moment, the travel-creeps can really take over and if we dont have a brillianr moms beside us to guide the way thru the fear we can easily missout on an oppurtunity of a lifetime . . . and a hunky beefycake 😀

  22. On one level this is just a list of things you did, she did, you said, she said, you did together, you said at the same time. On another level this is a poem about all these things being both symptoms of and triggers for what you’re both feeling. The spiders and snakes, the side of the road to drive on, the Aussie man she might fall for – these are all metaphors for your separation. The notes in her luggage are all about how difficult it is to express love at a distance…

    Your poetry stands out, Claudia.

  23. i know it was soooooo difficult for you to let your daughter go, even though you want her to have the experience. it’s been more years than i am willing to publicly admit, but i still remember the day my daughter left for college {only a little over a hundred miles away.} i was standing in the middle of the driveway ~ the second she was out of sight, i burst into tears and couldn’t move for the longest time. {smile}

    wonderful poem, claudia!

  24. I can feel the deep connection between the two of you and understand how hard it must be to let her go. It’s something we will never get use to.

  25. putting notes in socks is a very tender thing to do…smiles..she’s got a great mother to come back to, unless that Australian boy has anything to do with it..grins..

  26. Love this Claudia! So hard to see them go away. My daughter only went to the East Coast once and you would have thought it was Australia. I took your advise and posted on dVerse. I think I will like it there. 🙂

  27. Being a looker like that I would say about three days before some gorgeous aussie lifesaver sweeps her off her feet. Beautiful beach weather here in Sydney at the moment..mango and sailing season,loads of champers, seafood , swimming in the harbour,surfing and balmy nights…you could lose her to worse places:)

  28. Claudia, this is so poignant and beautiful! You paint bittersweet perfectly, and I absolutely love how you showed her sweetness with one sentence about XL matches:-) I loved this!

  29. Boy, your poem about your daughter, letting go, being a mom till the last minute, shared heart-wrench… Hits home with me because I know that in August my newly graduated daughter will be going to grad school away from dad, my son will likely be going to the Orient to teach. I thought I had begun to hang up my girl’s ballerina shoes in my mind, but then, Claudia, you give me a gentle reminder that daddys and mommys never do… ;(

  30. i hid love- & travel notes
    in socks and between t-shirts
    in her suitcase, wrapped
    with strings of colored ribbon,
    almost time to
    say goodbye & buried

    in my arms she weeps,
    boxing with both fists
    into her mattress, “i’m so afraid,
    don’t wanna go–“, i nod…

    “i’m always–

    Hi! Claudia…g’day…
    Claudia, thanks, for sharing a moment with your daughter through your beautiful poetic words…[with her and your readers too!]

    I like her “apprehension” and I like your “re-assurance” an altogether mother/daughter moment…too!
    [What a wonderful smile…She is quite lovely!]
    deedee 🙂

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