to be seen–

walking between time,
my river’s not
as impressive as the Moskva,
wind blows hard, umbrella crashes
in my hand,

i hold it, wet, pressed tight
against my hips to keep my hand warm,
whistle, oh, not that i could but–

closer to the rocks,
dark clouds, i–

caN You hEAr me–?

(the wind
howls loud, the only sound),
hands squished hard
around a thin line—

i (do, Don’t, plEAse, NO–)
let go–
do/should/ i–
have to–

F a  l  l  – – – –

like Gandalf,
dragon on my heels– i’m
not a wizard though, there’s

fragments of a life, reflects
in muddy puddles in the black,
from my headphone,
sliding sound of fingers
caressing the guitar neck,

i crash,
under a pulled tight hood
around my face, (the wind–), tears,
rain, blood, sweat– and

–you can’t see me.

.

first OpenLinkNight in 2013 & it’s my pleasure to serve New Year’s drink behind the bar…come, write a poem and join us when the dVerse pub doors open at 3pm EST

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77 responses to “to be seen–

  1. Fragments of a life — all wish to be seen. The tight hood cannot hide, and the guitar strums louder than the wind. Enjoy New Year, Claudia, with or without umbrella.

    • to be seen–
      “i crash,
      under a pulled tight hood
      around my face, (the wind–), tears,
      rain, blood, sweat– and

      –you can’t see me…”

      Thanks, for sharing your very poetic words [thoughts] as the New Year begins…once again, Happy New Year!

      deedee 🙂

  2. oh dear,,,if you literally fell probably no one noticed or if they did would have helped you…I felt the rain ..and the walking between time..;)

  3. The first few lines hooked me and I though t of being caught between time past and time future…the need to see the past but so needing to be seen as moving to growth…a better time…with all the pain..still felt under that umbrella. Maybe I’m reading into it…it’s still a beauty!

  4. There is something quintessentially modern about the experience of this poem – the travel, the Gandalf – the headphones, the fragmentation – even the sense of not being seen in that moment – it is super interesting. k.

  5. the overall thought of being seen/being heard…i think we all want that…to be held as significant…there is an intense frustration right there in the middle of this as well….the gandalf ref made me smile…maybe i will buy you a razor…smiles…the walk was probably a good escape though…smiles…happy new year claudia…

  6. I identify with being muted by the wind. I lost my voice over Christmas. It was a weird sensation not being able to communicate, to yell when need be. I felt invisible at times.

  7. walking between time sounds like the perfect place to be. sometimes, being invisible sounds perfect as well. love the dream-like feel to this.

  8. If I can’t see you, you can’t see me! Loved this Claudia…the mention of Gandalf and the magic evoked…the poets all be on fire today! Happy New Year 🙂 (and OpenLinkNight!)

  9. I love the way the title works with the first two lines.

    Mmmm, nice: “i hold it, wet, pressed tight
    against my hips to keep my hand warm”

    I like this line break: “caN You hEAr me–?
    (the wind” Either you are asking the wind if it can hear you, or you are saying that you are the wind.

    Yes, yes, yes:

    “hands squished hard
    around a thin line”

    “i (do, Don’t, plEAse, NO–)
    let go–
    do/should/ i–
    have to–
    F a l l – – – –
    like Gandalf,”

    “fragments of a life, reflects
    in muddy puddles in the black”

    “sliding sound of fingers
    caressing the guitar neck,

    i crash,
    under a pulled tight hood”

    “and
    –you can’t see me.”

    Geez, girl. You have been on fire. I love this poem. The ending, especially. The art of disappearing, and the contrast between the desperate need to be seen and the desperate need to not be seen.

  10. “F a l l – – – –

    like Gandalf,
    dragon on my heels– i’m
    not a wizard though, there’s

    fragments of a life, reflects
    in muddy puddles in the black,
    from my headphone,
    sliding sound of fingers
    caressing the guitar neck,

    i crash,
    under a pulled tight hood
    around my face, (the wind–), tears,
    rain, blood, sweat– and

    –you can’t see me.”

    Love the imagery in this Claudia. Feeling soaked to the bone and a little bit bruised just reading! Well penned. Happy new year to you

  11. if i were to quote each favorite line, i would be citing the entire poem! if you were actually hurt, i hope not too badly.

    no wizard could weave such magic as the spells cast by your wonderful words, Claudia!

    wishing you a new year filled with amazing surprises and almost too much love and laughter and hugs and smiles!

  12. feel of cold rain and the anger of feeling helpless against the fall – wonderful, Claudia, And thanks too, for your encouragement – all your comments are so appreciated. Hope you and yours have a joy filled 2013. K

  13. ..aren’t we all goes through same stage in life… wanting to be seen & recognized beyond our physical being… i feel you Claudia… i am like invisible in this world… so li’l me to be noticed… ah, yes… my salvation is poetry…

    peace & love for the rest of the year Claudia… and smiles.. happy new year….

  14. Really like this!! Especially “sliding sound of fingers
    caressing the guitar neck,” which is one of of my absolute favorite sounds ever!! 🙂

  15. I have to add my appreciation and applause
    for the final sections which really close the piece
    with a memorable, blowing kiss of goodbye and tails off into
    the image bank, for keeps in anonymity
    set in melancholy.

    Thanks Claudia all the best 🙂

  16. love the use of parenthesis here Claudia. Really strong right to kick the poetic year off. Love the feelings detailed and the imagery here. The Gandolf reference was nice as well. Thanks. Hope you had/have a great New Years

  17. I love the way your words invite us to share the moment with you – and the way you include so much detail makes that sharing more real.

    Happy New Year to you and yours Claudia.

  18. loved being buffeted by this piece. Really caught the feel, the sense, the thought stream, the emotion of this moment. Such condensed writing – and love the use of graphic elements to increase the impact. Excellent read.

  19. Sorry Claudia, but it is a very negative attitude you picture. And I have no patience for it.

    SICHER

    Jesus Christus ist ein schütz.
    Das Vermögen ist. Benütz!
    Sicher Menschen sind dabei.
    Immer macht die Wahrheit frei.

  20. O, “to be seen” when she wishes, when necessary, when heroic in the inner everyday! I felt a nightmare in the poem, half nightmare, half the glory of the imagining to be able to slide there invisible, to fly with dragons, to fly from dragons! I walk like this, wrapped in fantasies, thin lines like earphones and umbrella handles and tunes grounding me in the present, fighting me in the wind, helping me fall splat in reality when I was not looking. I am not sure of your intent here, but this poem delighted me into my own dreaming, walking, hoping. If this is you, may God continue to bless you with your poetic tongue and keep you safe for street and bridge crossings!

  21. It always needs courage to live between your inner world and this hard world outside 🙂 I respect that courage. I often wish to be able to get invisible… Beautiful poem 🙂

  22. Wow Claudia…this read to me as quite an anxious poem, with referneces to falling and sacrifice…maybe references to a moment of loss of confidence, or like gandalf, falling to protect the once you love….and the close ‘you cant see me’- showing a self awareness, and the desire to hide away….emotional claudia….and i love it

  23. I’ve got to watch the Tolkein stuff — so many poets are dropping those images of late.
    Hidden in a hoodie as the wind howls, though, I get that image. Invisible in a troubled world.

  24. Very nice work, vivid physical descriptions that reveal a troubled emotional state. I think the best remedy for cold hands are someone else’s warm hands!