kind of an urban tenderness

at the gas station /pic by c. schoenfeld

at the gas station /pic by c. schoenfeld

a night of moths & witch lights
moon-deep lampshine on a rainwet street,
half-snow breath blows gently on an
empty phone booth’s broken dial,

the almost-night plays vinyl
records, moths & witch lights glide
wide-winged on damp leaves, find hold
on whispering wipers,
(just a teNder touch– aahh but– )

the fuel gauge stops
at fortyOnePoint/0six litres,
moths & witch lights dab the night,
tip-toe foggy trails, bed their head

on snow pads, long-lost pillows
tale-soaked, re-told hundredfold
by the widening, thawing
night & myriads of moths & witch lights
(dance & dance,
 —————my fantasy
————————takes flight)

.

Gay has us write quaterns at dVerse today.. just don’t take mine as a good example.. i took quite some freedom by putting variations on the refrain line, the parts in parenthesis are add-ons and the syllable count is only almost 8…never mind…it’s a fun form to play with and hope you give it a try when the pub doors open at 3pm EST.. 

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48 responses to “kind of an urban tenderness

  1. Claudia, I like that ” tender touch of the wipers”. It’s called “Kiss of Death” for our Love Bugs in FL.
    You really are fun to read, I think you have fun writing. (Why else write–grin!) Bed time soon…maybe….

  2. Claudia, so many super cool lines of imagery here really makes the piece visually come to life. I tend to enjoy quatrains very much, can’t wait to see what everyone comes up with tomorrow. Liberties with form just make it all the more fun, greatness is never simply following the mold to the letter, sometimes you need to capitalize or italicize, bend a line or break a word in half, or whatever the muse tells you to do, to really let the greatness flow. Awesome job here. Thanks

  3. smiles….its the little textures you give that make this cool….the vinyl, night like a record i think is my fav…it def gives it depth….the wind breathe on the payphone is really cool as well….and the night moths, or snow that looks like it…great imagery that…

  4. Having just had a walk while it’s snowing, I love the image of the half-snow breath blowing. Moths and witch lights…there is truly some wonderful imagery all through this piece. It sends out a warm glow which is nothing like how I’m feeling right now… shiver me timbers…. 🙂

  5. I like that you let the form guide you but not restrict you. (Can anything?) Your unique style and way of expressing your mind’s pictures comes through beautifully here.

  6. The entire poem “dances” and you know I love a dance. I think your modern voice and imaginative vision will always take something set, and make it new and all your own. You do it here so creatively and with such great appeal! Wonderful.

  7. Sounded very poetic, and I like your use of the form and still maintained your voice I’ve grown to love. I always enjoy your points of view on life. An interesting set of eyes you were given.

  8. I love hyphenated words, they evoke such a broad response–moon-deep, half-snow, tale-soaked (my favorite). Wonderful work, a real pleasure to read.

  9. …ah yes… very alluring Ms. CS… and who would not fall with those moths and witch lights in the witching hour or almost… ha, and as your title suggest… this is quite a tender read… smiles…

  10. To echo Tash, I loved the refrain, and your variations on it as you went along. I’m normally a stickler when I work with form, but it’s intriguing to see what others can pull off in their own style. Full of a whimsy, this fantasy laced into the everyday. Nice!

  11. I like ‘tip toe foggy trails’ and ‘bed their heads on snow pads’…true to your style, it felt like a tender moment indeed…with a little bit of fantasy…;)

  12. Oooooh ‘moths & witch lights’ how wonderful ~ you are blessed with the most amazing talents Claudia, such imagination and creativity ~ I love the repetition ~ this my favourite, ever (so far) 🙂

  13. You and Brian both rebelled against Gay’s challenge. Herding cats and poets seems a formidable task. Well you got 4 stanzas but …

    I really enjoy the grainy photo — catches so much feeling an

    I looked up Witch Lights in case it was a phrase I don’t know. Couldn’t find it. Well, I found the German novel “Hexen Licht” but that didn’t help. 🙂

    I was wondering — is there a use of that I don’t know, or was this your poetry mind? It is a cool phrase.

    Interesting images — ironically, though form was suppose to contain you, it seemed to do the opposite: I had a hard time following your mind on this one.

    As always, though, I loved the twists and play with language — and the snapshot (visual and poetic).

  14. I quite like what you did with the challenge you were set. This verse in particular caught my attention:

    “the fuel gauge stops
    at fortyOnePoint/0six litres,
    moths & witch lights dab the night,
    tip-toe foggy trails, bed their head”

    Many thanks.

    Greetinsg from London.

    • “a night of moths & witch lights
      moon-deep lampshine on a rainwet street,
      half-snow breath blows gently on an
      empty phone booth’s broken dial…”

      Hi! Claudia…
      You have captured that “urban tenderness” quite well with your
      very poetic words as you experiment with qua-terns
      and the use Of the image only to serve or compliment your poetic words
      Here:

      “the almost-night plays vinyl
      records, moths & witch lights glide
      wide-winged on damp leaves, find hold
      on whispering wipers,
      (just a teNder touch– aahh but…”

      t “he fuel gauge stops
      at fortyOnePoint/0six litres,
      moths & witch lights dab the night,
      tip-toe foggy trails, bed their head…”

      [Claudia, I too want to wish your husband well as he try to heal after his surgery.]

      deedee 🙂

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