She’s a rebel or– crazy women need brave lovers

She wears pearls beneath her negligé,
talks to clouds and roaches,
with an accent you could never place,
eyes that swim in moonpools

(hardly audible) she talks to clouds and roaches,
hangs her washing on high voltage lines,
eyes, swimming in moonpools
one more time, just for a moment

(between traffic & a dream), she hangs washing on high voltage lines,
snippets of french recipes, caught in her hair
one more time, just for a moment go
barefoot on the northward rails to find–

snippets of french recipes like hailstorm in your hands,
wrap ’em in a bandage, walk
barefoot on the northward rails to find &
hold her on the edge of twilight for– another day


Sam Peralta will be tending the dVerse FormForAll bar today and he has us write Pantoums which is a challenge in itself and.. ähem…i bent the rules a bit…so.. you may wanna give it a try and join us at 3pm EST when we open the pub doors…

57 responses to “She’s a rebel or– crazy women need brave lovers

  1. Pearls beneath the neglige is a beautiful image. I say….why not? But, hmmm, I can see talking to clouds, but roaches…no. I will enjoy thinking about pantoums today for sure!

  2. Chaotic, but lively and interesting. I’m curious to read Sam’s article that comes out later. Great images, captures a passionate woman’s inner frenzy. Catchy title too, made me want to read the poem right away 😛

  3. This is marvelous.. Crazy and beautiful at the same time. The contrasts between the dangerous and the mundane work very we together.

  4. I haven’t read the rules yet 😉 but i really like the rolling develpment of this – and laundry on high voltage lines! My kind of (dream) chores 😉 Brave AND crazy!

  5. Sometimes you have to just love those crazy women 🙂 Don’t think I’d try hanging washing on high voltage lines though. Love the last stanza, especially ‘hold her on the edge of twilight for another day.’ Beautiful.

  6. Aaaah….I’ve often wondered if I could pull it off, being the eccentric host of a party for one’s friends, holding a long cigaret holder, wearing a long bohemian gown, going barefoot….with snippets of French recipes caught in my hair

  7. Don’t know this form (not any others for that matter), but regardless, what you wrote depicts a beautiful picture of madness about to bloom. I think it’s good to be a little mad, to live your world. But careful with those electric lines.

    Hope you’re doing well Claudia. It’s always soooo delightful to read what you write. I don’t stop being amazed at how you mix words, and concepts that shouldn’t mix, yet you blend them into something so meaningful.

  8. this is a tight write. your last stanza floors me. …recipes like hailstorm…this is crazy clear with imagery and a deep connection with humanity.

  9. smiles…i like how you develop her character in this…making her rather intriguing…barefoot is always the best way…i love parenthesis as well…smiles…lots of great touches…the recipes…the electrical lines to hang the wash…so she lets her laundry out in poetry is what you are saying there, right? smiles.

  10. Hi Claudia – I’ve done a few pantoums and they are very hard. You cheated a little but only to make a better poem – what are rules but for breaking and, in the end, having a good poem, like this one is the main purpose.

    Well done – fun, clever, musical. k.

  11. really nice job Claudia, yeah you bent the rules a tad, but that’s what poetic license is for 🙂 Excellent piece, I do love a good pantoum, which has a funny story behind it. In college, I took a graduate course in poetry, and the second poetic form we worked with was this one, and well, we’d each have to write a few and then read them aloud on the next class…but anyhow, when I did my reading I kept calling them pontoons, which of course, the smart alek teacher I had, going forth kept calling my captain, oh captain lol

  12. “the ghost of electricity howls in the bones of her face” was something I remembered having read this. Brilliant piece you have here. Pantoum is not an easy form in my experience but it has a rewarding feeling when you rise to the challenge it presents, as you have done here. “eyes swimming in moon pools!” that is wonderful, thank you for sharing, Kevin

  13. Claudia, I enjoyed this poem – great imagery. And I love the non-conformist take on the form – an interesting blend of free form and pantoum. Peace, Linda

  14. Confusion for one looking at her, but she has no panic, does she? Whether looking up to the electric or down to the roaches, she holds secret purpose. In the last stanza–my favorite–the address seems to switch to another person who wants to hold on to her:
    “snippets of french recipes like hailstorm in your hands,
    wrap ‘em in a bandage, walk
    barefoot on the northward rails to find &
    hold her on the edge of twilight for– another day”

    I suspect she’s the wind herself.

  15. you’ve poemed a rich potrait, claudia of a very down to earth woman.
    reminds me of the lady who live above the candy store we went to every
    day when we were childre.
    she also wore pearls everyday, regardless if she was going to mass
    or wearing one of her many printy housedresses.

  16. It only took me one high voltage washing hang-out to know I’d never do it again! 🙂

    Needs a brave lover indeed.

    Fascinating, Claudia, and a little different than most of your other poems, but just as great because you are something else with words, you!

    I do talk to clouds too. Roaches — I only curse them, thankfully the cats keep themat bay!


  17. So this is how you write one. I like, the character reminded me of the mentally challenged lady in the movie K-Pax. Great characterization and image work.

  18. The poem crackles like the corona around the high voltage lines. And I love the way you’ve bent the rules here – the thing about it is, one needs to be able to keep to the rules to bend them…. that’s from my article “On Free Verse, Picasso and Yachting”… and you’ve certainly earned the right to bend the rules. Excellent verse!

  19. Eccentric or crazy, a woman with her own mind. Likewise the lovers ought to be on his toes and brave enough to take the challenge. Great write! Claudia!


  20. I love a pantoum Claudia… so musical and rhythmic. And with such vibrant images, this one really sang to me!

  21. You had me caught from the pearls beneath the neglige as well… Beautiful and slightly dark – and very easy to see where the title comes in! Love it!

  22. I dropped by to see what you are doing and have to say I really like (the form) and content of your ‘pantoum’ I have to investigate this further!

  23. In a way, I felt like we were looking at a ghost who comes back to live her life, somewhat, like she used to. And also, a mate describing his loved one after age has coiled with her mind. If so, I’m glad that he observes her motion without confusion and holds her to “the edge of twilight for– another day”. This is a lovely piece, Claudia, with such a strong development in character. I loved all of the crunchy pieces. Hope you have a great weekend!

  24. I really enjoyed this! I wonder what would happen if I decided to put my washing on high voltage lines. I bet it would be a sight to see and maybe feel…lol.

  25. This accurately described someone mentally ill but in a way that lets us understand her by getting a glimpse of her crossed wires (high voltage indeed!). I really like this poem.

  26. I love how you bent the rules (a bit)… you’ve given me ideas! I love, love, love the first stanza… absolutely fabulous!

  27. I love this piece. I want to know her. I only like form when it enhances the experience and that’s what you managed here.

  28. I love the line… hanging washing on high voltage lines with snippets of french recipes in her hair…such a great image! Wonderful poem:-)

  29. Hi! Claudia, Thanks, for sharing your poem She’s a rebel or– crazy women need brave lovers

    “She wears pearls beneath her negligé,
    talks to clouds and roaches,

    she hangs washing on high voltage lines,
    snippets of french recipes, caught in her hair…”

    I really enjoy reading your Panto-um…even with the… ahem… bended rule…because it didn’t break your poetry… back and Instead, left your poetry intact…

    deedee 🙂

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