eating salmon

She wipes her mouth,
leaving greasy trails on lips
and hand back, scent

of smoke and fat that
made her stomach rebel in the heat
has faded,
make up puddles ’round her eyes,

he taxes her,

“want another drink–?”

his tailored suit, damp pressed
by humidity, slightly stained
but good material, with

sweaty finger he massages
the flesh between the thin seam
of her skirt and knee,
hands slack
like fast food, heated
in a microwave,

“no one’s cooking any more–”

he calls the waiter, lights a cigarette
& blows smoke rings on a
slowly simmering midday
that remind her
somehow
of the bubbles, buried
in the cold lap of a deep blue sea

.

today Stu McPherson is tending the dVerse Poetics bar…and you might wanna start observing the weather while sharpening your pen..doors will open at 3pm EST

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60 responses to “eating salmon

  1. i am not sure about this guy…it is an intersting scene to observe…it is the language you use that sets that tone…he taxes her….his hands that feel like re-heated fast food….that gave me a little shiver when he was touching her leg…th e buried bubbles in the cold lap…all of these lines set up that tone…for me…smiles.

  2. Hmmmm, this man gives me shivers even in the hottest of weather. I’d buy my own drink. LOL. A vivid write, Claudia, especially on such a HOT day.

  3. A very sensual, earthy take and a guy who seems to put the Sssss into sleaze! I can almost feel the heat, Claudia.

  4. greasy trails, sweaty finger, hands slack, blowing smoke rings. so sticky, slow and simmering. nice rescue with -in the cold lap of a deep blue sea!

  5. What a scene you paint. To me it’s a sad one, of people, perhaps doing the best they can with what life dealt them – the kind of people it’s easy to judge, feel superior and say, “Glad I don’t like Salmon.”

  6. Whether this was a date or a business meeting, the salmon eaten together in the heat of summer will remain on the mind’s palate for a very long time, I think. Provocative poem, Claudia!

  7. Of course she must know this sleaze-ball or he would never have been able to get away with touching her leg; kind of Faulknerish this piece, sensual, fishy, humid, sad, touching.

  8. i love salmon done up tasty, my favourite source of protein… there’s so many ways to talk about heat, aren’t there, and i love the slow scorching treatment you give it here… but that guy gives me the willies – i’d be slapping his fast food slack hands off sure

  9. This is so so intriguing….the scene….felt awkward to me…it set am almost awkward tone….almost foreboding ….the makeup pooling around her eyes (tears)… And who is the guy with her….when he touched her on the leg I squirmed…..you see THIS is exciting poetry….great tone and narrative that allows the reader to explore and interpret….with your words just helping them in the right direction…..loved it…

  10. Pingback: eating salmon « thebleedingpen

  11. Yup…something smells a little fishy…and nothing worse than limp smoke rings either…so many avenues to explore with this one…a fantastic play in observation…

  12. Hevseems to me to be a bit slimey, not just with sweat either. Weather does set a mood, in the poem and in ourselves, somehow sweaing out of our pores the seamier sides of the personality.

  13. You paint one sensation after another in this–very impressionistic, yet also I think abstract, if I can borrow some artists’ terms, since for me this poem was very visual–I also was squirming, though the image of the cool blue sea ought to be refreshing, it just seems as blank and empty as this moment. An interesting, compelling voice from you here, Claudia.

  14. This is superb Claudia… the way the underwater imagery bubbles through really took me.

  15. Oh, I think I need a shower – haha! You really drew an atmosphere of lasciviousness or merely ick I can’t decide. One way or another it induced a visceral oppression upon reading, awesome work!

  16. Love this post…
    reminds me of an old thirties movie:
    (take away the microwave ☺)…
    well, I hope you know what I mean:

    “sweaty finger he massages
    the flesh between the thin seam
    of her skirt and knee,
    hands slack
    like fast food, heated
    in a microwave,

    “no one’s cooking any more–’ ”

    Peace,
    Siggi in Downeast Maine

  17. Not to touch the slender legs with greasy fingers. Absolute no! I remember how greasy it was with herring taken raw in Holland many years ago. Must be somewhatt similar. Nice take Claudia!

    Hank

  18. “bubbles, buried
    in the cold lap of a deep blue sea” must be what many Americans are dreaming of right now.

    You have captured the essence of the scene so well, created characters and shown them to us in all their failings. Brilliant.

  19. Good golly now! This is awesome, Claudia! So real and vivid, I could feel that skirt and knee (I’m a guy! My mind stuck on that line!) and I started to sweat. I really like this; start to finish. It’s an awesome poem!

  20. Simmering poetry. The greasy salmon is a great start to set the tone. Sometimes we are in that place where we make the ‘bad’ choices on purpose, and I feel that the lady is about to make one. Your writing makes me wonder why. Great poem, makes me think about human nature.

  21. This is a very vivid piece and shows that weird synesthesia (I’m not sure that’s the right word) of our brains – you know, the mixing up of sensations. So interesting to have the juxtaposition of fish and microwave doughy hand and then the deep blue sea. Very well done. k.

  22. ewww,,a groper…stilleto in the ankle is always good for that kind of thing..although it is embarrassing when all eyes turn to your table on hearing the screams of your luncheon companion:).

  23. We become what we eat indeed, and see what we are accustomed to in our hopeful mirages. What fun that you give this all to us in a sleazy meeting over cold food in a hot bar night!

  24. Claudia, this is amazing, especially the title. This place is so gritty and I feel like I need a dose of something clean after reading this. And I love that you did that. 🙂

    I hope that she finds another place for herself, one that is cool not cold. Closer to the sea.

  25. This poem, especially given the title, is erotic, not in a good way but in an unsettling, why is she letting him do this kind of way. Great vignette.

  26. Fab scene ,….just glad i’m not the lady portrayed I think I would slap him with the fish …thanks for sharing ! : )

  27. “want another drink–?”

    his tailored suit, damp pressed
    by humidity, slightly stained
    but good material, with

    sweaty finger he massages
    the flesh between the thin seam
    of her skirt and knee,
    hands slack
    like fast food, heated
    in a microwave…”

    …and you might wanna start observing the weather while sharpening your pen…

    Hi! Claudia…I know for fact that you observed the heat very well…Thank-you, in your very beautiful poem…Eating Salmon.
    Tks, for sharing!
    deedee 😉

  28. Oops! I meant to type: Observe the weather…I don’t why I type the word heat other than the weather being on my mind.

  29. Very visceral–loved the description of salmon (made me think of Hemingway’s description of eating oysters in “A Moveable Feast,” the thin seam between her skirt and knee–hands slack like fast food, heated in a microwave…brilliant!

  30. Oh, oh, oh… he taxes her. Beautifully selected word. So few people know that usage and yet it is so apposite. More reason for me to admire your writing.