@the service station

he bends low
over the windshield,
pierced ear, blue,
stained overAll &
spaceships full of foam
unload like martians
on a slippery ground,
invading– years

and years of practice
in his moves, metho-
dic like a whore
who works towards
real_ease– i
sweat

inside the car
while he thrusts
glistening clouds
under the sails of pure-
ity in careful, calculated
circles, bows
to an unknown god
‘til they submit to

sucking wiper lips,
wet-kissed with a
long, last,
scru-
ti-ni-Zing glance & then
belong to him–
no longer

.

writing poetry can be hard work sometimes or we can write poetry about work…either way…stu mcpherson has a great poetics prompt in store for us…let’s get to work…3pm EST at dVerse poets pub..and you might wanna bring your blue overall and the safety shoes…smiles

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61 responses to “@the service station

  1. i was just about to say the same…this carries a bit of nostalgia for me…it made me smile though because my boys love to wash the windows though when i fill up with gas….now setting that aside….i like the underlying heat in this, the word plays toward that, even down to the scru….haha..and then the religeon undertones as well…

  2. Loving this! So descriptive and the words just took me there. We don’t have service stations like this in the UK anymore- definately conjured up some Americana for me…what I really liked was the differing perspectives – the view from inside the car and from outside. From inside he was thrusting and attentive, from the outside – melodic like a whore- perhaps showing his effortlessness in his work – and I wondered for how many years he had been at this place- how many cars had he washed…and of is dreams. Loved claudia….immense

  3. Wonderfully fun and defiantly sent be back to better days! Also reminds me I need to wash the car..lol. As always a pleasure to read Claudia… thanks!

  4. I am always amaze how you take such a common event and turn it into a most uncommon event…I shall have to reconsider washing my car myself…brilliant write again.

  5. Oh GOSH! A ‘Quickie’…poem, I mean–grin!
    Claudia, your imagination, vivid, is endless.
    And you always seem to put your ‘touch’ on
    the verses.
    PEACE!!

  6. Claudia, why didn’t you look me up when you visited my local service station? (tee, hee!) You captured two out of three guys who work on cars and “stuff” around here in NW Alabama!

  7. Wow when you want full service you really want full service, not that there are many left around but I suppose that is what makes em special..haha

  8. Claudia- We don’t have full-service stations around here anymore, but I can certainly remember them… and I love this metaphor, especially that last stanza.

  9. ahh yes, the sensuality of everyday life 😉 “very” nice claudia 😉

    esp liked,

    “years of practice
    in his moves, metho-
    dic like a whore
    who works towards
    real_ease– i
    sweat….”

  10. as i read this i kept thinking of the joni mitchell’s Bar and Grill about the guy with a lot of soul…

    a vivid, fabulous word painting here.

  11. Yes, I too thought of Joni Mitchell and Bar and Grill, a great song from a great album… and I wish I could find such sensuality in having my car washed – well done for ‘enlightening’ me Claudia! 🙂

  12. You turn the extraterrestrial visit of the gas station attendant into an erotic dance, methinks! What attracts me about this is the fun of the imagery and the sensuous, albeit alien, dreamscape. These elements pull me into the play of the poem, enjoying its enjoyment of the mundane, the celebration of the everyday!

  13. I remember looking through the windshield at the cute guys who would “service” our cars…yep, it was fun to watch them work. Thanks for some fun today..in your own unique way.

  14. All I can say is, it’s just not like that where I fill up the car! What a sensuous and visual delight, Claudia. Loved it.

  15. “under the sails of pure-
    ity in careful, calculated
    circles, bows
    to an unknown god”

    yeah, really like those lines. great descriptions here claudia, and in my opinion, a great tribute. but now i’ve got that “at the car wash” song stuck in my head =)

    enjoyed this very much claudia

  16. You drew me right into the moment, Clauds!! Love it!! I like how you play here with metho-
    dic like a whore
    who works towards
    real_ease– i
    sweat”

    Creative and fun!!

  17. For the prices of petrol, I would expect these happenings at the car wash and filling stations. 🙂 Very kool, hip write. I felt some nostalgic vibes from this. Excellente.

  18. and years of practice
    in his moves, metho-
    dic like a whore
    who works towards
    real ease

    A service station worker enjoys his work so it seems. But what I found wanting is that the station makes money on the sly when car servicing and repair costs are somehow jacked up.

    Hank

  19. … uhm, you won’t find at that “service” station … ever … my mind is going wild in the wrong direction … I know, but I can’t help it,C …

  20. “working at the car wash” she sings with a smirk…and just a bit of a blush. Awesome play with the prompt…who knew work could be fun 😉

  21. Nice to honor the car wash guy. There aren’t many of those around any more.

    It’s hard work to write poetry sometimes you say? I bet it’s not really hard for you. I always envision words, images and deep thoughts naturally spilling out (like foam) from your mysterious brain. Heh.

  22. you are so much fun. i bet you don’t give up an iota of your thoughts in these moments, if only becuz you have such a glowing poet working on the inside. last graph was extra sweet.

  23. wonderful! He’s your man.. for five minutes… you make the mundane so romantic here… on of my favourite poems of yours I’ve yet read, Cloudy… descriptors are superlative

  24. I know this is completely outside your piece, but your poem made me think of swing dancing: My main dance partner claims we hear rhythms so well that we could dance to windshield wipers. Thanks for your visit to my latest, too–it was a tough one for me to get up in time!

  25. Extremely strong piece Claudia. Love the last 2 stanzas, the way you play with word breaks and caps is always fun to see, and you really paint a scene. Thanks

  26. Usually it’s women who are the car washers, wet t-shirts and all… you have redeemed the car wash as a place for the goilz to have a rollicking, lusty good fantasy. Steamy, sexy, and almost rebelliously wicked, I loved it! Thanks, Claudia! Amy

  27. Rarely do I see this. Maybe traveling out of state but brings back memories of having at least a clean windshield and now….to tired to bother with it.