you don’t cook in such kitchens, nor does humphrey bogart show up

on the billboard
‘cross the grocery, she,
red dress, heels (Hot!),
soft toothpaste smile, He,

blanc-bleached shirt,
Easy/ Humphrey Bogart style,
no hat though and
can’t see his eyes,

toasting in a spotless kitchen,
silhouettes reflect in a
glosS Polished cupboard &

i scan their place for
dog eared cookbooks,
stained with splatters
of my favorite dish and

chocolate corners,
bitten off the cake & laid to rest
next to the microwave or
dusty jam jars which
still smell a bit of
sun ‘n summer peach, I’m

reaching for my heels,
pour a glass of red wine, the
pan handle drills small holes
between my shoulder blades as
you lean forward, hiSS & Kiss
me passionate, elbows greasy

from the butter I forgot to
put back in the fridge, smearing
honey on your lips and
lick the sweetness, (doesn’t go
with the wine though),

coffee filter for a hat— we get
quite close, and you MoaN hushed
as I, with dish detergent,
dripping fingers start unbuttoning your shirt,
tracing bread-crumb trails
along your neck, (they’ll lead me
further –) &

putting on the the fins, we
jump into a bubble bath of gurgling
foam waves in the sink, dishcloth
for a sail, the floor gets
dangerously slick, binding beads
of raisins ‘round my hips, agravic howl
as you float over me, and–
for a moment wonder if i just don’t fit
into their rinse-cleaned target group
for ads like this

.

this is my entry for OpenLinkNight at dVerse, hosted today by the marvelous Natasha Head – join us 3 pm EST when we open the doors for poets from all over the world to flood the place with verse.. 

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75 responses to “you don’t cook in such kitchens, nor does humphrey bogart show up

  1. those ads def have a market all their own…far too clean and neat for my messy life certainly…and the people are far too good looking as well, last time i looked in the mirror…oh wait i digress….i like your version of reality a whole lot better and thinking i need to spend a little more time in the kitchen and leave the butter laying around a bit….like 9 1/2 weeks maybe…smiles.

  2. This was great fun!!!…some things are the same the world around, sounds a lot like my kitchen in upstate NY. I wonder what the result would be if the marketers ever wrote ads for real people….

  3. I rather like the term ‘delicious’ when talking about his poem…just seem to fit it so very nicely…by the way…I posted an award for you on my site….one where you don’t have to do or reveal anything…my kind of award….just an award. 😉

  4. It’s the ads from the late 50’s and early 60’s that make me cringe. Wife at home taking care of the kids, cooking, cleaning, shopping, sweating… buttttt… she then has to go and get washed, dressed and put on her glam for poor old tired out hubby so that she greet him with a smile, hair and make-up all in place so he can come in, sit down and relax… sooooo sexist! No wonder women burned their bra’s then and said “No More”! LOLOL
    What a lovely, sensual read and, who says a man can’t help with the dishes 😉

  5. I like the messy cooking in the kitchen up to the bathtub…mmm

    Those ads before were so unrealistic…I am glad we don’t live in that time and place anymore ~

  6. I found this one such fun, read it twice. The hiss and kiss gave me a smile, as well my ocd had fun with a spotless kitchen..haha…loved this one, one of my favorite from you.

  7. Claudia, enjoyed the write, really good job here. Love how you really ignited the senses here, in sight with the color imagery and taste with the food, obviously the touch as well. Excellent read. thanks

  8. I’d buy that dish soap! BLUSH! That’s two in a row that have left me warmer than I should be mid January. Phew….great word play as well (as always!) And I’ve the sudden urge to clean my kitchen…but first…poetry must take over the twitterverse. Blog Readers….Claudia is up for the SHorty in Poetry…let all show her the love!

  9. Wow, what a fantasy this is, Claudia.

    ” bubble bath of gurgling
    foam waves in the sink, dishcloth
    for a sail, ”

    You’ve definitely helped my imagination to sail today!

  10. Coffee filter for a hat–lovely mix of playfulness and heat in this, and a nice tongue in cheek ending. Love your style, Claudia.

  11. “on the billboard
    ‘cross the grocery, she,
    red dress, heels (Hot!),
    soft toothpaste smile, He,

    blanc-bleached shirt,
    Easy/ Humphrey Bogart style,
    no hat though and
    can’t see his eyes…”

    Hello! Claudia…
    You had me at…“you don’t cook in such kitchens, nor does humphrey bogart show up…” lol

    I really like your “play” [it again,Sam] with words in your very [beautiful] poetic poem. As, you looked at “Reality” Vs. “Fantasy” in the advertising…world.

    Thanks, for sharing!
    deedee 😉

  12. Lord! Hot stuff indeed.

    What a marvelous poem, Claudia. Gets to the ‘meat’ of the matter….LOL!

    funny how men are aroused around food, the OVEN, the hot stove, and all the dangers of cooking. LOL!

    You write of something that I believe is universal in kitchens….with couples, and my husband hasn’t a clue how damn cold that counter top is on my butt. Doesn’t seem to care, either.

    No, Claudia, I don’t think you and I belong in that particular ad. group. LOL!

    Marvelous and may I say….’gritty’…poem.

    Lady Nyo

  13. “chocolate corners,
    bitten off the cake & laid to rest
    next to the microwave or
    dusty jam jars which
    still smell a bit of
    sun ‘n summer peach”…LOVE this…and now I’m hungry…for all kinds of sweet stuff:-)

  14. I watch almost zero TV, so I was a bit slow figuring this out. I finally realized you don’t have an aoutomatic dishwasher. So, how do you get that caked on stuff off the baking dish?

  15. Wow, that is hot! I love the way the scene hurtles through the poem at breakneck speed, full of allusions that you don’t give us time to linger on, so the poem has to be read again, and again.

  16. Messy life is great, as well as messy kitchens I guess. Just came home. Found hubby had baked some bread, flour all over the place, the not so faint smell of something burnt in the oven, and one of the dogs running around with a loaf of bread in his mouth, hubby chasing, cursing. And me laughing.

    And now I read your poem, and I know all is well with my world.

  17. Adore the title…. still smell a bit of
    sun ‘n summer peach, I’m

    reaching for my heels,
    pour a glass of red wine, the
    pan handle drills small holes
    between my shoulder blades as
    you lean forward, hiSS & Kiss
    me passionate, elbows greasy

    exquisite lines …loved this.

  18. “…putting on the the fins, we
    jump into a bubble bath of gurgling
    foam waves in the sink, dishcloth
    for a sail, the floor gets
    dangerously slick, …”
    Perhaps there should be some ‘realism’ in advertising like this!! (Might even get my husband back into the kitchen!!) Thanks for infusing a little ‘steamy’ excitement into my night!

  19. Hot and steamy ……definitely smells like a sun and summer’s peach . Wherever is my fan Miss Scarelet. I was waiting for the recipe box dropping….a couple of recipes.
    Hi My name is William really really enjoyed the tour of the kitchen….. Snot recommended me to this wonderful site. I see I am in the right place.

  20. Kitchen erotica can be/is very sensual,
    and all that grease and butter rolls off
    cast iron and bronze erect handles
    and over your smooth forearms, slithering
    places unseen, soaking through lingerie,
    and soon panties smell like bacon and
    waffle syrup, and your lips are a form
    of smorgasbord verity.

  21. What a wonderful tale of surreal passion! Your description had me half believing it was real – though of course it is as real as imagination can make it! This has a pulled together so many lovely threads (sewing again!) that I just have to stand back and say wow!

  22. yeah, the honey and butter doesn’t go with the wine, but one flavor at a time:) a tasty, meandering kitchen scene that ends nice and light. the whole dish works and comes together well. but i didn’t know what agravic meant, so i looked it up in my dictionary but it wasn’t there, so i went online and found it. fine. but why make a reader stop in mid-sentence and break away from the effective rhythm you established in your piece in order to find out what you are saying halfway through your closing graph? common words speak more clearly. i don’t know what word you would substitute. i just don’t believe in giving your readers any reason to break away. they will come up with enough reasons on their own. i like how you open removed from the kitchen and close away from it, too.

  23. I lost in a sea of other comments but I want to say I just love all the visual residuals I have from reading this post…wonderful and cheered me.
    Peace,
    Siggi in Downeast Maine

  24. What a delight, Claudia! I’m still smiling…Yup. That’s the way love should be messy, sloppy; like the kitchen…sounds like mine..lol. Great fun!

  25. Sensuously written and I could actually find the cooking of many dishes on the way… liked your lines…
    ‘tracing bread-crumb trails
    along your neck, (they’ll lead me
    further –) &’
    and then the ending was so beautifully poised for a kill… deep contrast to the place I was in..

    Shashi

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2012/01/whispers-haiku-on-how-i-write-poetry.html#comment-form
    At twitter @VerseEveryDay

  26. What a soap opera! – play it again, Sam…all the way to Casablanca darlin’ Ilse – hey, here’s lookin’ at you kid…that makes the line and all of yours are warm and delicious! Love it!

  27. oh the pictures you paint with your words, Claudia…warm in so many ways : ) Thank you. Thanks for taking the time to comment on my blog…sorry I wasn’t more clear that your words were still in my mind because of the imagery and not because they weren’t clear …

  28. This is my favorite part:

    “elbows greasy

    from the butter I forgot to
    put back in the fridge, smearing
    honey on your lips and
    lick the sweetness”

    And:

    “raisins ‘round my hips, agravic howl”

  29. Steamy indeed, and great point you make here. Reminds me a bit of “Mad Men.”

    I love all the detail in this stanza:

    “i scan their place for
    dog eared cookbooks,
    stained with splatters
    of my favorite dish”

  30. Okay, so WHO is biting the corners off chocolate cake and sticking them on the counter by the mic?? WHO??? 🙂

    And Bogart slips into the nightly fog with you, hot heels, bread crumbs falling to a trail leading to an exotic closet.

    xoxo

  31. You’re always an expert at setting the scene, and this one’s filled with all kinds of sparkly ads. Though this commercial sounds like one worth starring in 🙂

  32. hey, visited you from charles’s (slpmartin.wordpress.com) blog. Glad that i did.

    i so agree, no one cooks in those spotless kitchens 🙂
    they are for mannequins.

  33. This rollicking narrative poem describes the kind of kitchen I imagined as I washed the supper dishes standing on a stool when I was elementary school aged. The swimming in the sink is the best part here,Claudia. It would have been GREAT on one of those 108 degree Mississippi summer evenings! Thanks for the joy here today. Love having you drop in and provide feedback over at http://granbee.wordpress.com!