snapshot in red/black with a shade of ocean blue

they’re invading from the east,
an ugly wave and oil smeared ducks on top, i’m
frozen on the sea, ears plugged, stuffed
with puffed up balls from tattered clothes,
rows of rags i dress in and stare blindly
at– not sure what i expect@–

when the end comes, we are all surprised–
there’s no speaker who, with nasal voice cries:
“it’s round eight, still in, fair chance to—win”

i play hard and cross-light all those pyres,
blow Ash alive un-til my mouth gets dry, worn,
crimson, deep red, pale & fading, lips in blisters,
smeared to crashed down words with oh-so fragile tint
in half-cut breath rate, squint—my eyes, it’s

darkness, b(l)ack-fold, mocking madness
wipes with insane gaze the ocean from
the map i hold, i– still hold in– ice cold hands
& can’t stop– trembling

.

it’s saturday and Poetics coming up at the dVerse pub with a marvelous Victoria Ceretto-Slotto hosting..so in case your day is a bit gray and dull, you may enjoy the colors you’re going to find in the pub at 3pm EST.. 

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46 responses to “snapshot in red/black with a shade of ocean blue

  1. finally…been stalking you today to try and catch you before work…smiles. you word play is fabulous…the second stanza with the announcer…if only they did tell us so we could make the most of those last seconds…the third is my fav where you turn on the action, blowing ash to get warmth to the extreme of blistering your lips…follow the map to the edge before you jump off…a hint of that madness there in the end…ok…got to get to work…see you at dverse….

  2. Claudia, very nicely done. I really enjoyed the nuances you chose to use, and well, you know I love color, which i have to say the tones you chose are great ash, crimson and ice to go along with the black and red. Wonderful assembly- Ice as a color is just not used enough, but for me anyhow it’s such a cool word as it initiates both sight and feeling. Anyhow, excellent piece, did so enjoy:)

  3. The cat will come from the west and then no one will still be in to win, because the cat will take all, what a sin..hahah..fun piece loved how you set it up and used the word play.

  4. I felt this piece Claudia; I do love how you continue to use your gifts to surprise me. The use of color is pitch perfect. An amazing poem that sets the bar high for poetics today, looking forward to the challenge.

  5. Claudia, is it possible that you write better and better each time. This poem gave me chills, from the imagery and from your talent. Wow.

  6. The images are lurid, startling in their vividness – they really show the shock, the confusion, the hopelessness of the situation… Love the title.

  7. Beautiful and original use of color and words, running through a full range of emotions and shades. There is a single focus here still, though, hot as the beam through a magnifying glass. Good stuff.

  8. I’m always the odd-ball..
    the crowd likes the 3rd stanza where as I liked #1.. you set the scene in a chaotic way with your line breaks and use of symbols.. very creative..

    (thanks for liking my new blog..was not sure it would look ok)

  9. lovely to read your work again… need to ask you about the theme for our creative challenge upcoming actually as you won last time with Flying Fish (remember?). Will inbox you xx

  10. Claudia, when the end comes I think we will all be surprised, We are in a state of denial, don’t wish to remember the handwriting on the wall. Your poem makes me think. Thank you, Claudia.

  11. another lovely rush of words claudia. the kind of poem that continues to reveal itself on repeated readings, taking us deeper into the chaos of the moment.

  12. Wow! I could “hear” this poem. It was loud, vivid and voluminous (in the best possible way 😉
    “when the end comes, we are all surprised–
    there’s no speaker who, with nasal voice cries:
    “it’s round eight, still in, fair chance to—win”
    Stunning… and I love that trembling last line!

  13. There seems to be feelings of dismay and helplessness in here. Interesting use of symbols (expect@ and b(l)ack) , not sure if I got what they mean. But they are intriguing. I shall probably need to return and read again.

  14. Are you sure it is just mocking madness? Just kidding. Very nice once again. Luved the word choices, line work, images, change of pace, point of view, The black stands out so vividly. Beautiful work.

  15. Me too like Dave, it is revealing. I hope it means the same to you that it means to me although methinks it’s closer to half past ten than eight. I like to look to the Roman who ventured a guess to his noble wife, “Where shall we go?” if the Rhine runs too shallow; or to the Mayan who first saw the glistening breastplates of conquistadors; or the native american who first saw long gray beards and knew that their campfires would never burn as brightly again as they drifted deeper and deeper into the protecton of the forest. Yes, it is difficult to unthaw the sea especially when the ship is anchored.

  16. As a reward to myself for finishing mine early this morning I decided I would read the first three on the Linky list before I get some sleep. Was so surprised, delightedly so, that we both wrote about the end. In much different terms, but still….what are the odds?

    This poem is so stark and spectacular. I long to watch you read it on youtube the way we were able to with your train poem!

  17. I was mesmerized from the opening line:
    they’re invading from the east,
    an ugly wave and oil smeared ducks on top..

    You are so innovative in your use of punctuation – I find it adds many layers to your pieces.

  18. Wow. I love colour, and the use of it here, almost the absence of it, with a few harsh accents is expertly used to bring a chilling edge of insanity and terror. I must read something else before I try to go to sleep! Brilliant write.

  19. I agree with Mary, the world is in denial but, we cannot deny the fact that time seems to be somehow going into overdrive. It seems to be racing ahead towards something which most of us are not going to like. Image filled, colourful but, the underlying factor in this (I think) is our own eventual demise. Another fabulous write from your gifted pen.

  20. “Ash alive un-til my mouth gets dry, worn,
    crimson, deep red, pale & fading, lips in blisters…”

    “darkness, b(l)ack-fold, mocking madness
    wipes with insane gaze the ocean from
    the map i hold, i– still hold in– ice cold hands
    & can’t stop– trembling…”

    Hi! Claudia…
    Once again…Thanks, for sharing your very beautiful and poetic words again, and again, and…
    deedee 😉

  21. darkness, b(l)ack-fold, mocking madness
    wipes with insane gaze the ocean from
    the map i hold, i– still hold in– ice cold hands
    & can’t stop– trembling

    .

    your description is very vivid and touching, a fantastic read.

  22. You’ve amped up your poetry here. You haven’t written a personal manifesto regarding you poetry that I’m aware of; yet reading the body of your work, I think you are moving into a real actualization of “your words in poetry” being used as notes in jazz.

    The “feel” and “improvisational” quality of jazz music is what I come away with more and more. It seems as though you keep it harmonic, you keep the feelings of words, but you are using them outside their meanings, outside their usual diction in a way that they sound new, feel different, sing as though newly invented. The genius of your constructions is that they are harmonic with the notes (words) around them. Additionally the sum of the work yields understanding without being “about words” but is much more about “the sensory” in a way only a very few poets have achieved. I think of Neruda and to an extent Eliot but you don’t go off the rails the way e e cummings did to achieve this. He was more into creating puzzles it seems to me, whereas you are more nearly creating music.

    I am always in awe.