and i paint rain nights..

and i paint rain nights, sunlit scented
castles to your skin with hands, tender,
trembling wide with force of magic bent
between the summoning from storm
and time left lying, careless, spent

with chalk dust limbs, rolled into sleepy
voice like twilight into night gaps,

and between the spring i fall and wine
glows crimson in the candle flame
when heart bends to you, unprotected,

folded from the stars to kitchen tables,
joint return and walks with autumn, out-
bound, puzzling love lines, smooth where
eyes would break in everyday and
called by candied ponds, in gardens,
outpoured and just clay as it is

nothing else we need for soil to carry
bones to open land and cracks in what
is growing hard in gray of clockwork,
rolled in you, in nutmeg scented skin and
dew drips light from overgrown in fern-webbed
forests, lush, i sip on branches, thick
with sap– and mornings

.

this is my entry into FormForAll at dVerse – guest-hosted today by the absolutely wonderful Lady Nyo…Gates open 3 pm EST… and we’re writing love poems..

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42 responses to “and i paint rain nights..

  1. You’re really working the senses today, the cat did not know whether he was coming or going his way. Wonderful piece, really brings forth the imagery and delights the senses, unless you’re a cat..haha

  2. I love the lingering of the first stanza…these words “outpoured and just clay as it is” are delicate and divine. ” I sip on branches, thick with sap, and morning”
    Just luscious and full of longing.

  3. You know just how to involve the reader, using all those delicious, lucious sensual images. As someone else mentioned…I think you covered all of the senses and, for me, that’s what makes it stand out.

  4. Claudia, very nice, lots of love in here. I adore the title and the lack of capitalization here, definitely adds to the poem when looking beyond the words themselves. Great flow and interconnectivity here as well. Thanks

  5. Great musicality and flow. Excellent choice of words from the very start:
    and (an) i (i) paint (ain) rain (ain) nights(nts), sunlit (snt) scented (snt)

    Just a real pleasure to read!

      • A lot of this type of thing happens when one reaches a certain level of skill. It is like jazz improvisation. I have noted that when musical scholars (I have done this before, though not a musical scholar) talk to composers, particularly in jazz and progressive rock, about some of the interesting structural or compositional devices in their work, the scholar often is suprised that the composer was unaware of these things until pointed out to her/him. It’s not a matter of finding patterns through pure chance — its that the creative artists creates patterns, naturally, and without a second thought. This comes from 10 to 80 hours a week, year after year, of working at a craft — whether poetry or music.

  6. so much to love of this…your descriptors…the chalk dust limbs…sipping on branches….evocative…yes i think you did engage us on many levels in your words…your words dance ma’am…

  7. Your poetry becomes more all the time. It’s abstract sensuousness grows concrete, its reality more ephemeral. It seeps into pores, it pours over senses. You inhabit the mind as an entity, as a figure, as a song, as a dance, as movement, as silence, as emotion. You are as close as breath and far as moon.
    Always better.

  8. Claudia- Wow- so beautiful and emotional… lovely images. I especially like:

    with chalk dust limbs, rolled into sleepy
    voice like twilight into night gaps,

  9. this is bursting with passion claudia… that opening phrase ‘and i paint rain nights’ is just stunning. so much music in this poem… ‘called by candied ponds’, ‘growing hard in gray’, ‘summoning from storm’ … they all make it sing!


  10. “and i paint rain nights, sunlit scented
    castles to your skin with hands, tender,
    trembling wide with force of magic bent
    between the summoning from storm
    and time left lying, careless, spent

    with chalk dust limbs, rolled into sleepy
    voice like twilight into night gaps…”

    Hi! Claudia…
    Your beautiful poetic words “paint” a very beautiful love poem…too!
    Thanks, for sharing!
    deedee 🙂

  11. I love how you wove nature into everything, that’s the one part of this that is really japanese feeling to me, the strong comparisons between the human and the natural world–the rest is so lush and sensual and western, but that undercurrent of nature keeps it grounded….”magic bent/ between the summoning from storm/ and time left lying, careless, spent…” and the heart unprotected, bending, ‘folded from stars to kitchen tables…’ just fine fine writing, Claudia. You take my breath away.

  12. This is such a solid love poem..it evokes the senses, all of them, and you make it so damn effortless, Claudia.

    There is something mature of your style, there is this pronounced effortlessness, as if it just forms on the page.

    Remarkable, in all aspects. Amazing poem.

    Lady Nyo

  13. You are beautiful, there is nothing more to it, I hope you are proud to be at the helm of such inspirational writing – you do us all credit by writing amongst us.

  14. Wow, I love this wording:
    “cracks in what is growing hard in gray of clockwork”
    “and i paint rain nights, sunlit scented castles to your skin with hands”

  15. So sensual Claudia. I think I heard music reading this, I want to dance now to the incredible conglomeration of pictures you pain in my mind.

  16. rolled in you, in nutmeg scented skin and
    dew drips light from overgrown in fern-webbed
    forests, lush, i sip on branches, thick
    with sap– and mornings

    extraordinary lines, the entire piece is brilliant and magical.
    true talent from a a real poet,

    😉