dis-jointed

you break ‘em open as if they are enemies
and i say “jazz sometimes makes me sick”. the
sun‘s not shining and we leave the path, take

the conversation and–
place it somewhere else, put it like a bridge
on troubled streams or neat as nightgowns in a drawer, fragments
of us, blue and black and everything between
until it is– forgotten
„i don‘t really think that‘s bad“

i watch you eating mussels and the sea hangs on your lips,
wanna lick the ocean from your tongue – don‘t say it, i just
want to but— stay silent
and your mouth stays closed.

„Why is it“ you ask carefully between two bites – „the jazz thing“
but we got no answers & the light is flickering.

there’s beer foam on your upper lip

„Maybe it‘s too close or it‘s not close enough“
„You‘re talking about jazz now?“ i‘m not sure– outside howls
the wind, heaps of empty shells pile on the table &
i beat them like a drum stick but the rhythm is just mine–

You shake your head, some questions weigh
heavier than steel and for the most,
there are no easy answers,

so you slowly wipe your lips
& your hands glisten, wet with oil

.

it’s my pleasure to tend the dVerse Poets Poetics bar today…and it’s all about conversation… we’re in good company there by the way – with Johann Wolfgang von Goethe plus Candy Dulfer & Dave Stewart for example…curious…? the prompt will go up at 3pm EST and i’m looking forward to a chatty night.. 

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48 responses to “dis-jointed

  1. Wow a conversation you can have, looks like the dverse way is having a ball today, the cat may have to bring out the clowns to have a convo, could be close or not close enough, geez talking to yourself at your shelf, some might think you’re a tad crazy..haha

  2. Wow, this is deep, sad, sensual in parts, such as licking the ocean off someone’s lips, tasty indeed. But, the sadness over what is left unsaid over-rides the joy of the sharing. it seems to be an argument left to simmer on the back burner and awaiting being faced, met by either party who is trying hard not to let it all boil over.
    Very deep, and intricate in its mixed feelings. Another lovely read.

  3. this really is a powerful piece claudia…i really like the textures and ending on that pic of the hands…hard place…i feel the intimacy underneath with the desire to lick the ocean from the tongue…but also the angst in the conversational struggles…the pieces of us black and blue…sad…communication is huge in relationships…understatement of the day…

  4. There’s so much here Claudia, to speak of ‘dis-jointed’ and the frustration of it. This lines particularly jump out at me and sum it up in a way cos it’s so powerful in that understated way that one can miss it; but focus on it and it gets one thinking all day…

    “…stay silent
    and your mouth stays closed.”

  5. Claudia, neat conversation- I saw you tagged it call and response-was thinking along those lines myself a bit. Very nicely done-look forward to seeing the prompt later on today. Thanks

  6. I love this, Claudia: “wanna lick the ocean from your tongue” … vivid imagery with the mouth, wanting to get inside it but being locked out. Nice.

  7. “place it somewhere else, put it like a bridge
    on troubled streams or neat as nightgowns in a drawer, fragments”

    Your writing is a joy to read. I love the intimacy and vulnerability of this poem …

    “the sea hangs on your lips,
    wanna lick the ocean from your tongue”

    What a deeply sensual image. In the fragments, the droplets, we seek oceans.

  8. Pingback: From 8 to 18 | Bird's-Eye Gemini

  9. It’s funny…but for someone so in love with words…I more often than not choose a nonverbal response. Perhaps I am a control freak, knowing with my pen I have that…THIS…the setting is wonderful, and the muscles make me cringe…every sense has been engaged within this “conversation”…what is said, and what isn’t. Loved it….(muscles not withstanding) 😉

  10. this has that off-beat jazz syncopation, the heady mix of the said and unsaid. breaks over me like the roll of waves…

  11. Love the atmosphere, the clamshells piling up, beating only to one rhythm in this conversation that seems to go everywhere and nowhere–great tension and angst in the pauses, the dropped sentences…very real. And full of glorious language. Way to set an example.

  12. pic of the oiled hands…slipping .. the close intimacy .. to lick the ocean from the tongue…but then the tension in the dialogue strives but ……communication is key in relationships……Ah yes ‘sweet dreams are made of this’
    LOVED the choice Claudia ~
    one of my faves but hadn’t listened for ages
    thankyou, thankyou,
    Chilled
    Lib x

  13. i like the “you talking about jazz now” seems like one could always be talking about jazz, if one wanted to. reminds me of people tuning up their guitars saying, “good enough for jazz”

    one can always make it seem as if there’s a pseudo-intellectual thing going on in a conversation, when you bring up jazz and try to sound serious.

    if none of that made sense, well, it’s just a whole bunch of jazz. 🙂

  14. Whew, Claudia, this is a good one. And I like how you intertwine conversation with jazz with that of mussels (god, I could never eat mussels); and I like the way you express ‘licking the ocean from your tongue’ but I could never do that with someone who just ate mussels. (Just me!!) Your poem is sensual, descriptive, filled with feeling.

  15. think you pull us into the conversation and non conversation of this couple and let us feel the atmosphere between them …intimate yet delicate ….thank you for hosting !

  16. Much focus on the lips and much seems left unsaid. Such a feeling of wanting to do something and then just holding back. Wanting to connect in a way but that’s not happening.

    Enjoyed reading this.

  17. Terrific, Claudia– so poignant and rich with physical detail that carries the emotion along– those empty shells serve you well, like misfortune’s wampum…xxxj

  18. Felt like I was there. I also thought I was in your head because I know your sensitivities and why jazz could be so real, so hard it can make you feel sick and outside of yourself at the same time. The percussion counterpoint within this piece provides the real “other voice”. Excellent!

  19. I like the smooth play on words here.. you tell us but don’t really tell us what the couple is saying.. i’m an observer of people when I go out and I always like to imagine what people say to one another..
    this would have been a most interesting scene to witness..

    muy caliente'(very hot)

  20. Employs all the senses and carries that undertone of conversation that misses its mark – talking but not communicating…a strong poem.

  21. i watch you eating mussels and the sea hangs on your lips,
    wanna lick the ocean from your tongue – don‘t say it, i just
    want to but— stay silent
    and your mouth stays closed.

    I love this Claudia…and I love the rest. I have felt that before so it resonates with me 🙂

  22. how many times someone is talking to me and i’m focused on what i see on their face. we are such visual creatures. we all see the world through our unique ways, even on such a one-on-one level. beer foam, ocean waves are frothy, oil.. we are all animals eating with our eyes.

  23. Love this treatment of communication/non-communication — very deep: the communication gap. Guessing jazz is about conversation (each soloist) and so that is brought into this. Lots of originality here!

  24. The things you say are so meaningful, piercing, familiar to our sentiments. But, this poem seems to bring out what is unsaid in a conversation as well. And only you can do something like this. How I envy you Claudia. In a loving way, of course.

  25. Dis-jointed, indeed…this is a lovely jazz riff, each convo playing off each line, yet, off what hasn’t been said or what is playing in each person’s head..the want, the desire to bridge the gaps within each other’s internal music ~

  26. Thanks, Claudia. Another gift of sensuality:

    so you slowly wipe your lips
    & your hands glisten, wet with oil

    Ah, I can see it, smell it, feel it. Along with the sense of emotional disconnect between the players in the midst.

  27. I’d like to be there and observe, especially how YOU observe … Ah those lips-
    You rocking again Claudia in your scenarios- lovely

  28. The images in this piece are stunning.

    “neat as nightgowns in a drawer”

    “so you slowly wipe your lips
    & your hands glisten, wet with oil”

    “i watch you eating mussels and the sea hangs on your lips,
    wanna lick the ocean from your tongue – don‘t say it, i just
    want to but— stay silent
    and your mouth stays closed.”

    Poems with these kinds of concrete images paint clear pictures for the reader. That clarity gives them great weight. I have read this piece several times and I love it more with each reading.

    I missed the deadline for this exercise, but I posted my efforts on my website. Hope you will visit.

    Namaste……….cj