still burning

the
softness
of the night still
clings
to me with
    all its scents–    
 skin
.

warm on mine and
you light candles for
our breakfast on an

average thursday
morning – 5 am, You
don’t talk much– just
uphold the matchbox
for a “yes” and shake

your head for “no”, Today
is yes– & us is yes, the
kitchen smells of firewood,
my macbook susurrates on
stand-by and your train–
.
waits outside in the shade

.

hope you’re in good shape today…as you see..mine is a bit..well… abstract…smiles. Gay provides another cool FormForAll prompt at the dVerse Pub…Gates open 3pm EST

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54 responses to “still burning

  1. My yes and no got bent out of shape, you squashed them like a grape. My head is shaking sideways now, what does that mean? Yeno! haha, enjoyed the verse as you can see, maybe in a different light but I am crazy.

  2. “my macbook susurrates on
    stand-by and your train–
    .waits outside in the shade”

    Why, Hello! Claudia…
    Once again, your very poetic words flow as you write about your very “abstract” day.
    Ty, for sharing!
    deedee 🙂

  3. OMG! The first stanza is the classist stanza of poetry I’ve ever read from you. In my opinion it is a classic, reminiscent of the kind scribed by the great classical writers from that bygone era. That stanza, it’s structure, form, and craftsmanship beckons it sit as a standalone, Claudia. It is a flash of your brillance. I “sincerely” mean that. More, more, please, more (as I pop my fingers in affirmation and acknowledgement)!

  4. Lovely sensual capture of a tender moment, flickering into a memory like the candle flame your words construct. A fine poem, shaped or otherwise. Looking forward to Gay’s Form session later–they are always amazing and fun to write to.

  5. My PC susurrated while I looked up that word!!! Thank you–I love new words–new to ME, that is…

    “…you light candles for
    our breakfast on an

    average thursday
    morning – 5 am…”

    Yeah, right. Just your average Thursday morning 5:30 AM candle-lit breakfast, midst those warm-skim smells. O. M. G. !!!!

    Another masterful shortie, girl!

  6. i truly adore your flights of fantasy. i feel like i’ve been in your kitchen you make it all so real for the reader. it’s more than just a reference to smell or touch. you are a natural writer.

  7. Lovely. I have to say that I have a natural suspicion against shape poems but you handle it beautifully–the poem itself is beautiful–that’s the key, of course.

    K.

  8. I held myself back from reading until I posted. I SEE THAT CANDLE SHAPED THERE. And so wonderful you filled it with such tender poetry – a candlelit breakfast freezeframing that precious moment so touching with your husband still intimate with emotions from the night before. Nothing better than your wonderful poems, Claudia.

  9. haha…wait until you see mine…my shape sucks….lol…nice candle claudia…i liket o play with the fire a bit…smiles. really like the opening in flame…scent is so evocative….the matchbook suserating and train at the end is like the pool of melted wax, still warm and clinging to your fingers…

  10. Oh, so this was your breakfast by candlelight… nice…

    Your candle structure is well crafted and is supported wonderfully with the poetry. Beautiful work.

    Beth

  11. So much shadow, shading, light, soft, gentle in this wonderful candle!

    my macbook susurrates on
    stand-by and your train–
    waits outside in the shade

    You probably are the first person in the history of the universe to use the phrase “macbook susurrates” yet it is so perfect!

    Great poem! Amazed by your versatility!

  12. Claudia, this form is a lot of fun. Love the piece, changing the ink at the top stanza was the perfect touch. Words and image unite perfectly. Great job, love it

  13. Fantastic. Your imagination has no boundaries. Love the shape, the feel, the look and sound of this.

    (I was reading a poetry handbook the other day which advises us to try all forms, reading and writing them. I haven’t made the time to really learn about forms, or rather I haven’t been courageous enough to learn or try. Not sure if reading yours encourages or discourages me, the coward, since I get a little intimidated when I read your masterpieces. No matter, I’ll continue to enjoy yours.)

  14. Your”candle” glows so warmly, Claudia. I thought the ending was beautifully melancholy, promising his departure just when things are brimming with potential.

  15. ooooh! i’ve been missing your passion, Claudia! fabulous poem, but when do you ever write anything that’s not? i’ll be back as soon as i can to catch up on your blog, sweetheart. ♥

    by the way, i’ve changed the name of my blog to my heart’s love songs, but the URL is the same.

  16. A lovely, tender poem Claudia. It fitted so snuggly within your candle shape. Like others I particularly liked that first stanza – the flame.

  17. And this is another brilliant post that justifies why I am so in love with your poetry Claudia … Amazingly done as always .. the shape and words were just perfect..

  18. I love this section:

    “uphold the matchbox
    for a “yes” and shake
    your head for “no”, Today
    is yes– & us is yes”

    Beautiful candle, Claudia! I have so missed your work while I’ve been out of town; I can’t wait to catch up!

    Oh, and I love how the outside world is on standby while only you and your man exist. : )

  19. Pingback: encore presentation: 2012 featured poets — Brian @bmiller007 & Claudia @cmschoenfeld from dVerse ~ Poets Pub @dVersePoets | my heart's love songs

  20. Pingback: featured poets — Claudia Schoenfeld @cmschoenfeld + #giveaway | my heart's love songs