on building

you’re building church with both hands in the dirt,
rusty nails scratch blood streaks in your skin,
dust from demolished brickwalls hangs like
powdery mildew in your hair

i’m passing in the car on the way home,
it’s just a humble shack so far but somehow

this is also how it started, so i blow the horn and wave,
you throw a milli-second smile, grab the rock drill & work on–
i’m falling silent

Later we stand in the kitchen,
its already dark outside, i’m
leaned against the fridge

you feed me bread crumbs and swiss cheese,
pull me closer and your lips find mine,
they’re coarse and dry, you smell of sweat, hard work,
of forest mushrooms and of thunderstorms,

i say “Love me on the lawn”
but it’s too wet already and you’re reasonable

so i search the garden hut for last year’s seeds,
toss ’em on the bed while you are in the shower, water
with the spring rain i saved in my trouser pockets–

With the rising moon, they slowly start to bud
as you press hard against me, i’m drinkin’ in
holy communion from your sanctuary and
with my lips, still warm and wet with milky
semen, i kiss the blood streaks off your skin

.

it’s saturday again and Poetics is on its way… this week, Kellie Elmore has cooked up a brave poetics prompt for us…or wait…was it that we should be brave..? best is you jump over to the dVerse pub at 3pm EST and have a look..

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56 responses to “on building

  1. Claudia, very intense scene- love the way the entire scene developed, very naturally- great job there. And the tenderness that goes along with the intimacy was refreshing to see. Thanks, I best go grab a cold drink of water now:)

  2. very good claudia, I enjoyed the entire set up of seeing one another earlier in the day and the metaphorical references to the church (holy communion being semen – wow, you are brave – lol) This was pure joy to read.

  3. about half way through this gets really hot…the feeding scene kinda had a 9 1/2 weeks feel to it…then it gets really home in the taking of communion there at the end…nice blend of sex & church and all that comes in between…smiles.

  4. I’d like to be a member of this particular congregation, though i think it may be a cult of two. Tension builds, and somewhere, that forbidden fruit ripens til it spills its juice on the page…er, as it were. Think you definitely got me “engaged” with this one, Claudia. Compelling and also, lyrical.

  5. Wow going all lovey dovey on the lawn. You really went full tilt this time, I think I need to step in front of a sprinkler system on some other lawn..haha

  6. i say ”Love me on the lawn”
    but it’s too wet already and you’re reasonable

    I adore these lines amidst your tale of intimacy and communion in its many forms. Brave and gorgeous but isn’t that just the way you live :).

  7. Sex and religion don’t mix … or do they? They should, because we are all human beings with needs … thanks for pointing out the many facets of being human … Tolerance is the key. Love, cat.

  8. Well I’ll be damned.. **clap-clap** most female poets will avoid using actual verbiage and will substitute with some “safe” word.. You knocked this out of the ball park and I commend you for that..

    this is a sizzler….much enjoyed this Claudia!!

  9. what is “too wet already and you’re reasonable”

    i love the beginning because to me it says when you build a church, your hands are really dirty. oooooo love that.

    the end is totally sensual.

  10. Like the wordplay on “hard seeds” back to the beginning. This is how it started. Isn’t it always? Things that are natural, such things as beauty are such an aphrodisiac. The poem is quintessentially you. Great!

  11. Pingback: Sunday dancer « The Borg Poet

  12. Oh, Claudia! I flat out loved this. The intimate portrait, the passion of deeper understandings, of growth and the search for raw purity in the blood and flesh lying on the bed. Just so much here to feed upon…and the last two lines? Delicious shivers!

  13. Isn’t it interesting how we all triggered one another with this exercise? Good on you for some boldness here– and thanks for not being too pornographic and saying “semen” as opposed to some sleazoid word…although in my book I have a line, “I came in a slow and natural way, like a rose burned awake in the sun…” I rather like the word come, but, but I actually like coming better than writing about it. xxxxj

  14. you so very richly upped the ante with this happy ending.
    this piece is intimidating. it makes me doubt my stuff. by tomorrow, i hope the angst it causes me turns into inspiration.
    grazie for stopping by my place and the note. means tons:)

  15. This is so beautiful. I was young again and everything was so very soft and ethereal … so beautiful. After two years of seeing my best friend day and night … we kissed for the first time on his 2nd story back porch … for 24 hours. This was a poem of transport. Thank you. And thank you for your comments upon my war poem.

  16. HOLY GUACAMOLE !!! (And I love the videos of you…City of New Orleans and reciting he poem–multi-talented you are!)

    Isn’t it lovely that when you write something like this, you embolden us all to be as forthright as you in our comments…but I don’t know how anyone is going to top Jenne !!!