the weight of vision

 

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bearing tomorrow’s seeds he
folds his breath, his core —
cradles the weight of vision

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My humble tribute to a man who changed the world by living his dream.
Over at dVerse Gay Cannon is teaching Haiku today…make sure to pay her a visit 

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55 responses to “the weight of vision

  1. What a nice deployment of words! I love how open this is to intepreation. These are the kind of poems one likes to read and then come back to again later and read as if reading for the first time.

  2. I just finished watching his Stanford speech AGAIN…you must check it out if you haven’t already. I’m crying my eyes out everytime I watch it…but I so LOVE his advice. Wish he had have spoken to my graduating class…probably would have lived a completely different life! RIP Steve!

  3. I love this one from you, Claudia. It is short, concise, and yet deep in depth of meaning. I applaud you for such a bold poetic proclamation. Hope to read more such musing in a 1 stanza poem from you. I have found it refreshing and inspiring at times to cut away the fluff and just say it my friend.

  4. Excellent comparison between the fruits and seeds in wild nature, and our own, as well as a memento of a unique man–I was curious to see just which way you would take this form, Claudia, but should have known you would sail right into it head on and emerge with colors flying.

  5. As exquisite and precise as you always are. I just said before coming in to read that had Jobs & the computer (of course with accompanying hardware like semiconductors) come at the turn of the 20th century instead of at its end, we’d still live in villages, walk to shops, and many of us would work/skype from home. Those megacenters/cars/highways would not have been necessary. Consider that.

    Then consider your poem. Every word doing more than double duty. Exactly as the Japanese meant — that words should carry philosophical, religious, and familial information so that it’s a striated poem that can be tried but not really realized in any other culture. But yours comes close Claudia, so meaningful, so rich!

  6. Tremendous! Aside from the tremendous content and overall effect with form (e.g., “he” at the end), I like the long-a assonance in the third line and the carry-over “c” alliteration.

    Consider including a space after “core” so the dash doesn’t look at all like a hyphen.

  7. Vision does weigh heavily. But carrying it through lightens the bearer his load, if not lightens the world via his vision.

    Amazing what you can say in so few words, Claudia.

    xo

  8. bearing tomorrow’s seeds he
    folds his breath

    That feels so heavy and a huge loss…what may have been…
    Lovely as usual Claudia

    Best
    Padmavani

  9. ‘folds his breath’
    Gawd blown away ..
    can’t stop saying in my head ..
    ‘folds his breath’ ….
    ……………………….
    powered
    WoW
    Lib

  10. “bearing tomorrow’s seeds he
    folds his breath, his core –
    cradles the weight of vision”

    Hi! Claudia…
    A poet/poem Of very few words today, but yet, your very poetic words pay homage(and tribute) and speak…“volumes.”
    Thanks, for sharing!
    deedee

  11. Wonderful haiku, wonderful tribute. “he/folds his breath, his core–” doesn’t get any better than that. Thank you, Claudia.

  12. this is about the best remembrance i’ve seen for him. and isn’t a haiku just the perfect form for a man who made simplicity an art?