enjoying the classics

 

midday heat waves glue me
to the ground, dust
mirages smear the air into misty,
dream-abstracted paintings, bring
supermarket parking tar far
closer to the melting point

coke classic in your hand (we never
went for zero) glistens, wet–
exhaust fumes dance wild like fat gnomes
between parked cars & tired customers,
i’m not yet thirsty

with a smile, you pull me close, take the
bottle, slowly roll it down my neck
where the skin is thinest & my
carotid artery beats bush drums

tiny ice-chill trickles mingle fancily
with softly salted sweat, my breath

becomes irregular as english verbs, you
inhale me with your eyes, your lips
gently measure height & depth of
every single goose bump on my neck
(call this swiss precision) & i wish

you’d lick them even though

you never do

.

this is my entry for today’s Poetics over at the dVerse pub…get inspired by the wonderful poetic prompt Victoria Ceretto-Slotto has prepared for us…doors will swing open 3 pm EST..

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46 responses to “enjoying the classics

  1. nice…sensual forsure…makes me think of old coke commercials…just something about running a cold can of coke on already glistening skin on a hot day that makes me extremely thirsty…smiles. nice making it in a parking lot those things get steaming hot…your close gives me shivers…smiles.

    ok, back to work for me…

  2. Now I am thirsty and hungering for that bottle, the cold, wet chill and fizz that makes every taste bud alert and builds to that satisfying (if unladylike) burp… aside from the other thoughts that the sensual undertones build as well (not going there!)

    Fabulous work. This is teasing, you know. This hint at the prompt makes me want time to race forward so I can write for it. *hug*

    Beth

  3. ENJOY EVERYTHING AS ONE

    Licking is a female job
    No matter what’s the sound
    It’s all in your ear

    Freshness is on the tongue
    Dry as a rock
    Wet as a rain

    Gimme explosions
    Of napalm and ice
    Like an on-the-rock stanza
    In a velvet glove

    Classics are all new
    When the words are bright
    Among all stars

    Be the breeze
    In the cold deep night
    There is your only shape

  4. You make everyone thirsty, hot and longing for more, all in one verse, now if they add a curse, everything will be complete, of course that could cause more heat.

  5. This easily works as a commercial for Coke Classic — the whole panoramic slake of great sexual thirst, commodified into that phallic bottle with its cold sweetness. Loved it.

  6. Sort of the same feel here of making beauty(or sensuality) out of whatever the moment presents, with a little of the same sardonic humor of the image, the repetition of the commercial with a different attitude. A very original take on the prompt with some really choice phrases–‘irregular as English verbs,’ and ‘we never went for zero’ really stand out for me. Loved it, Claudia.

  7. I enjoyed this, Claudia! Takes a clever person to write a sensual poem about Coke Classic. The ending was super good! (I’m a Diet Coke with Lemon person myself!)

  8. The other comments said it all! Frosty! Goosepimple raising, awesome as those verbs are irregular – how does anyone ever learn this as a second language (much less/more write the way you do in it?) – do you write them first in something else? Do you dream in English? German? French? Swiss? Wow. Your poems are without parallel in English, I’m trying to get a big picture of my writing in any other language – uhm no! You get my prize, our Claudia!

  9. Love the lines about English verbs and Swiss precision, I can’t stand soda pop (didn’t even drink it as a kid) but you made me want it (that’s how talented you are :). Fantastic take on the prompt!

  10. Hi! Claudia…
    Once again, your very beautiful poetic words…
    “coke classic in your hand (we never
    went for zero) glistens, wet–
    exhaust fumes dance like wild, fat gnomes
    between parked cars & tired customers,
    i’m not yet thirsty…”
    …compliment the image too!

    Thanks, for sharing!
    deedee 😉

  11. Claudia, an exceptional piece. Funny I posted a few poems tonight and in one of them I had something about Coca-Coca in there as well- I do find it eerie how so many times I find themes or just, like in this case a momentary thought, happens to cross two poetic minds on the same day- very surreal, but oh so cool.

    I love this piece the flow of the read, the enjambment and some killer lines:

    My favorites are:

    where the skin is thinest & my
    carotid artery beats bush drums

    and
    tiny ice-chill trickles mingle fancily
    with softly salted sweat, my breath

    becomes irregular as english verbs, you
    inhale me with your eyes, your lips
    gently measure height & depth of
    every single goose bump on my neck
    (call this swiss precision) & i wish

    Which is basically the entire second half of the piece- in other words an extremely strong ending- really enjoyed it, thanks for the read

  12. A great choice! Clouds! Coke,one of the most known and noticeable name brand and easily a popular pop art subject. It makes me thirsty even without feeling it!

    Hank

  13. i will never look at the bottle the same way again… sensual lines here:

    inhale me with your eyes, your lips
    gently measure height & depth of
    every single goose bump on my neck

  14. I’m thinking laudia may be about the only poet who could take pop art and turn it into a sensual love poem – a really fine sensual love poem.

  15. Whoa! it’s Hot! I can feel that first stanza.

    it’s the real thing vs. the live thing, Coke vs. the Gnomes.

    The Turn:
    throttle the Heat on the neck with a sweet, dark brown bottle of Cola.

    Trickling & Sweat dancing with breath gasping — Sensual, Hot, Liquid!

    evocation: erotic cola effects, which Koke Kould Kapitalise upon (should they read this).

    But stop! the boat doesn’t leave the land and the Alps remain unexplored.

    Your poem brings out the above in me. Your really good at this. Thank you.

  16. Sex and sensuality have no limits on their settings. A coke and a parking lot, to squelch that heat. This was really a nice read.

  17. There are “tiny ice-chill trickles” running down my neck too, now. Nothing like Classic Coke 😉
    Such sensuality in a grocery store parking lot. You made me forget about the parking lot. Wonderful poem. Thank you (and thank you again for visiting my place).

  18. You’ve managed to meld the most commercial icon there is with a sensuous denouement. Your writing is very supple, polished and refined and you can seemingly direct it anywhere. An excellent idea expressed with great craftsmanship.

  19. Wow, is it warm in here or is it just me? I could sure use a cold drink to cool down my carotid! Whew! Speaking of that, here are a few old Coca-Cola slogans that make more sense with this incredibly hot poem……

    1905 – Coca-Cola revives and sustains.
    1908 – Good til the last drop
    1922 – Thirst knows no season.
    1923 – Enjoy life.
    1924 – Refresh yourself.
    1926 – It had to be good to get where it is.
    1929 – The pause that refreshes.
    1945 – Passport to refreshment.
    1956 – Coca-Cola … makes good things taste better.
    1959 – Be really refreshed.
    1966 – Coke … after Coke … after Coke.
    1969 – It’s the real thing.
    1976 – Coke adds life.
    1979 – Have a Coke and a smile
    1989 – Can’t Beat the Feeling
    2001 – Life tastes good.
    2007 – Live on the Coke Side of Life
    2009 – Open Happiness
    2011 – Life Begins Here

  20. my
    carotid artery beats bush drums
    ….. pretty much describes the physical reaction I had while reading your poem. I wish I was living that kind of life! Seriously, it is a marvelous poem for the prompt or for any reason at all!

    Isn’t the list by johnallenrichter above my comment interesting? An interesting ad nutshell of the times.It’s the real thing will always be the real thing for me.