prototypes

He tells me,
he gives music lessons
on request

and in his free time
he builds prototypes.

I search his eyes
for splinters of regret

but all i find
is humbleness
& liberty
and soil

“You’re looking tired”

“Yes, i am..”

I turn around and

feel his eyes pierced down my spine
long after i have disappeared around the corner,

back into my life

and something–

starts to fall

.

back from a saxophone weekend in france…it was a good time and yep, some random conversations can make us think…

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24 responses to “prototypes

  1. humbleness and liberty and soil. i read the poem four times. i can’t tell you how creative and rich an image this is, especially as you set it up in your prose.
    by the way, i was just about to click on your blog when you commented on mine. in sync is fun:)
    saxophone weekend in france, huh? i have the coolest friends:)

  2. Claudia, really nicely done. Glad you had a good trip and I completely agree, sometimes conversations random ones especially can really spark the old idea generator. Thanks

  3. I really like these lines:

    “I search his eyes
    for splinters of regret

    but all i find
    is humbleness
    & liberty”

    They make me think of someone who has lived a full life and who doesn’t look back.

  4. Yeah many interesting conversations can come out of just some random mumblings, almost always interesting to see what does. Sounds like a fun weekend was had as you wailed, away on the saxophone that is..haha

  5. Refreshing, Claudia. This poem feels and reads different from others of your poems. The dialogue is the key. There is a softness, depth, and mystery in this your poetic narrative. Also, what I enjoy is that it leaves the reader hanging per se, asking what happens next? Personally, I would enjoy seeing the poem expanded to consist of three parts, this being Part I, with Parts 2 and 3 to follow. Of course O’ Poet that’s your call, yours and yours alone. Happy writing my friend.

  6. nice claudia…you capture and intriguing character well…and leave it open for my imagination to wander a bit more into who he really is…humbleness, liberty and soil…i like that…and something starts to fall…

  7. I thought of you during silent films, how awesome it must be to be on a saxophone weekend.

    Your poem is stunning. (I just learned to spell saxophone, it was an o after the x, not a).

  8. “I search his eyes for splinters of regret” I love this. Its as if you are wondering if he wished he’d done things differently. “feel his eyes pierced down my spine
    long after i have disappeared” then this, when he wonders of you.

  9. “back from a saxophone weekend in france…it was a good time and yep, some random conversations can make us think…”

    Hmmm…a week-end in the beautiful country Of France…Oui,
    Claudia, I really like your beautiful poem [and words] because it touched on a human emotion that we all have or will experience in our lives when we come in contact with other people.
    Thanks, so much for sharing!
    deedee 😉

  10. it always feels as if you offer up your eyes for us to see the world as you do, claudia. even in a quiet poem such as this the imagery is so clear …so detailed… in so few words ~

    “but all i find
    is humbleness
    & liberty
    and soil”

    ten words to convey the contentment in this man’s life.

    brilliant, my friend ♥

  11. Lovely Claudia….. Your description of this man is very endearing.

    “but all i find
    is humbleness
    & liberty
    and soil”

    How could you not become endeared to him? I think the wonderful things we see in those who surround us are what brings magic and beauty into our lives…… Very pleasant read and humbling…… again…….

  12. i think this is one of my favorites, claudia…

    “I search his eyes
    for splinters of regret

    but all i find
    is humbleness
    & liberty
    and soil”

    you made me see this person – captured a bit of his soul, i think…