One Shoot – to the water

She never really asked him–

But he felt drawn
and so he stayed all day,

wondering if it were mice or rats
that made her seem so inapproachable

He just stood
and watched her for a while
before he started counting

five and seven, five..and

An old pond!
A frog jumps in—
the sound of water.

That was when she started smiling,
so he cited haikus until late

and when the sun went down,
he took her to the water.

I found her bra next morning on the shore

and never wrote a haiku since

today is the last one shoot sunday and i want to say a big thanks to Chris and Adam for weeks and weeks of excellent photographer features and picture prompts. it was an honor to be on a team with them. the photo was shot by  Rosie Hardy  – check out the interview over at One Stop Poetry.

(and in case you’re looking for the construction poem…it’s further down…)


32 responses to “One Shoot – to the water

  1. Very cool how the poetic element in the piece both leads inspiration to write, as well as inspiration to follow something “real.” Love your enthusiasm and dedication, Claudia, in addition to your brilliant work. Congrats on d’verse.

  2. Love your take on it. Nice short story too.

    I was actually scared to look at that picture (don’t like mice or rats) but you gave it a good interpretation.

    Happy sunday~

  3. You and Adam are the brave poets.. that was a hard prompt to pull off but you did..
    these lines are great,
    “I found her bra next morning on the shore

    and never wrote a haiku since”

    first impressions are not always correct are they?

  4. i love Rosie Hardy’s photographs, but i can’t look at this one. i loved your poem, though. a very, very cool take on the prompt! ♥

  5. Hi Claudia,

    Nice One , really liked the way you created the scene with such ease. Lovely.

    p.s : how are u doing ? coming to your after a long gap ..was really busy in work .. and now finally back @ blogging

  6. …the less haikus, the better off the world will be!

    seriously, i liked this unusual little story poem, claudia. thanks for sharing it.

  7. “”wondering if it were mice or rats
    that made her seem so inapproachable…”

    “I found her bra next morning on the shore
    and never wrote a haiku since…”

    Hi! Claudia…
    What a beautiful poem…and your poetic words compliment photographer Rosie Hardy image quite nicely…Thank-you!

    Thank-you, for sharing the links too!
    deedee 😉

  8. I like the openness of this, the slightly ambiguous and shifting points of view, and that insightful distinction between mice and rats–yes it makes a BIG difference, thank you. Beautiful, layered and complex piece.

  9. Ah…if not for Basho, where would the silence of the Haiku be! Thought this was a fantastic take on an equally fantastic image. Slipping in the haiku was brilliance! Man…you guys must be tireless! Commenting, writing, building….Where would we all be without ya!? Thank you Claudia for keeping our community together with the launch of dVerse…you and Brian are our lights at the end of what we were fearing to be a very long, dark tunnel! Power to the Poets!

  10. Awww sad ending. I’m seeing so much Haiku, I’m so tempted to write some of my own once again. Lovely.
    Congratulations on your new blog, it seems as if it’s already a big hit!

  11. You brought a lot of different elements together effectively–a narrative about the picture, the haiku, the punch at the end. Well done, Claudia.

  12. Such a skillful tapestry you’ve woven, Claudia. The intersection of Haiku/Basho and subtle sexuality. And the rodents! With a sucker-punch ending…amazing!