not yet there


.
we lie like dreamers
between yesterday’s sun
and the rippled hopes
of tomorrow,

squished tightly
into sandy silence,
bound to the base and

covered with seaweed,
we patiently wait

for the open sky to
breathe the breath
of its children and

bent low,
knees covered with mud,
we scribble
bits & pieces of our life
into wobbly ground,

the wind blows us
even and
your stubble on my skin

feels wild like the waters
we rise


Today’s one shoot sunday prompt was shot by UK photographer Fee Easton

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34 responses to “not yet there

  1. Tight write with sensory details the reader can feel…

    “squished tightly
    into sandy silence,
    bound to the base and

    covered with seaweed,
    we patiently wait”

    Also like how your poem encompasses the elements of sun, sea, air, and sky fluidly through concise lines. Awesome!

  2. Fine intrepretation of the poem, Claudia. So many good lines (a favorite: “the wind blows us / silent”) tightly woven into a dream. Lovely.

  3. oh dang…that stubble giving rise…very sensual…i like dirty knees…and scribbling in the sand…finely textured piece claudia…

  4. What a stunning poem!
    I love this photo and wondered how to do it full justice – you have done just that. I love the opening images and the gentle build up to the passion of the last 5 lines.

  5. Lovely passionate undertones in this one Claudia – love these lines “the wind blows us,
    even and, your stubble on my skin” – and the way you’ve composed them on the page – lovely !

  6. Claudia, this is simplistically beautiful. Your opening lines drew me in and carried me through. Lying in the beginning with our pondering thoughts, and then rising to close. Excellent.

    -Pounds

  7. For me, I get a daughter/father relationship being expressed here. Whether it’s the mention of “children” or the description of “yesterday’s sun” (older/father) and the “rippled hopes of tomorrow” (younger/daughter), I take a loving relationship from this, where you are playing together on a beach (mud-covered knees, drawing in the sand), then both struggling in the wind as your father protects you from watery breezes- with his stubble overgrown and “wild” with age.

    I suppose it matters little how close or far I am from your initial intention, poetry is about the reader’s perception for me. And I perceive this as truly excellent. It feels effortless, but it does not suffer in the slightest for that. Nice response Claudia.

    • And I hit the wrong button – lol
      You inspired me to write a poem today because of your beautiful poem Claudia

      Love from the moon

  8. Brilliantly caught the restlessness of the sea, the patience of the shore and the waiting boats. Really liked
    ‘knees covered with mud,
    we scribble
    bits & pieces of our life
    into wobbly ground,’
    so simple yet also catching the world of the beach.

  9. amazing how same image evokes such totally different works. and your take on this one’s so much softer, sensual than mine was 🙂 great job, dear claudia

    Monty / bummy

  10. A sensory piece fraught with feelings of drifting…evocative imagery, soft like the waves, restless yet passionate in this embrace of nature and the human condition…

  11. You have such a gift for bringing the reader right into the painting that you depict. I could smell that salt air, feel the breeze and the textures of sand and the lover. Wow.

  12. “we lie like dreamers
    between yesterday’s sun
    and the rippled hopes
    of tomorrow…”

    What a depth of truth and wisdom lie within these words. I sense and feel them so very well…a vivid description of where we are in the Tao, or eternal NOW! Roger ☺

  13. Waiting for the open sky to breathe the breath of its children… beautiful. Such movement in the sky and wobbly ground. I loved being surprised by your use of wobbly. Made me smile.

  14. Excellent prompt write, I quite enjoy the way you weave with words, the simple grace added to poetry through lines like

    “bent low,
    knees covered with mud,
    we scribble
    bits & pieces of our life
    into wobbly ground”

    are where I like to linger. Wonderful piece ~ Rose

  15. “feels wild like the waters
    we rise”

    only you could bring out the passion from this photograph, Claudia. i’ve read it three times so far and love it more each time. brilliant!

  16. Everyone seems to have had a favorite stanza — mine was:

    we lie like dreamers
    between yesterday’s sun
    and the rippled hopes
    of tomorrow,

    Just brilliant lines.

  17. this poem really spoke to me today…

    “we lie like dreamers
    between yesterday’s sun
    and the rippled hopes
    of tomorrow,”

    and the last two words:

    “we rise”

    waiting in patience is hard, sometimes… nice to know we have company on the journey.