intentional fallacy

instead of
playing soccer versus palm trees,
romping like baby turtles over white-washed sand,
get wet  in “love me ocean” arms

instead of
drinking your azure blue treasures
and drowning splish-splash in your boyish smile

life hit me
like an avalanche
one-fifty miles per hour
oxygenated suffocation
before we crash

snow-swept

haven’t linked up with Galen’s friday flash 55 for a while – but today i managed to say it in 55 words… 

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15 responses to “intentional fallacy

  1. >Hello! Claudia…Your 55 words flow and are very beautiful too![If you, want to use 56,57,58,59 or 60 words…that would be alright with me…Thanks, for sharing!]DeeDee ;-D[Once again, (G)odspeed on your journey…from here to there.]

  2. >Claudia….Your Hard Hitting 55 was Perfect!It's so nice to see you back with the Friday Funfest!Thanks for sharing your great talent with us.Thanks again for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

  3. >Claudia, you wrote above 'comments' area "…but today i managed to say it in 55 words…"YOU SAID IT, GIRL!!!!! Ahhhh, romping like baby turtles–I have seen them romping, both baby turtles, and……PEACE! And, for this post I must say, "LOVE"

  4. >dramatic and evocative. i really saw and felt the tropical paradise… and then i loved how you ended abruptly, like the last breath:"snow-swept."

  5. >hmmm…am i getting this all wrong or are you trying to convey the oscillation between wanting to drown in his blue eyes and day to day life…?

  6. >quite curious this poem…all full of paradise beach images and then that snow-swept… hitting fallacy i'd say, and i love that love me ocean arms… you are a genious , claudia

  7. >Hi ClaudiaThis is very lovely poem withing 55 words hmmm makes it even better ..I just tried once over it (Foxed).Its a nice challenge isn't it to express as much we want within a limited words when its hard to stop the flow.Lovely.Take care.Keep smiling.