>the way you breathe

>i’m as night as one can be
staring stars out of the darkness
trying to cut my thoughts
with the scissors of sleep
but it won’t come.

my mind runs restless
like caged moths – fluttering
on and on. i want to stab it
and i hear you breathe, regular
binomial formula, deep
as a song, lullaby – yes and
i feel your presence, warm,

familiar and drinking the
magic, i want you to feel me,
wake you up in the middle
of my craziness, drag you
to the moon – a pale one
and feel your sleepy body close
to where my restlessness

meets home. i want you
to love me calm, rock me into
sleep, breathe me silent this
moment before our night turns
and the paleness of the moon
fades with the daylight coming
closer.

i’m linking up with One Stop Poetry – write a poem, join us and meet some fantastic people over there. Sign up opens today at 5 pm EST

A special request of all tweeting readers…we are in the running for a Shorty Award over at One Stop Poetry…currently in second place with one week to go. So if you tweet, please tweet a vote for us in the #art category…matter of fact, go HERE and vote for…

@OneStopPoetry in #art because…(you must give a reason) we create community in art, we promote youth poetry or whatever…

Advertisements

54 responses to “>the way you breathe

  1. >Silky smooth and musical, this is something I've come to expect from your poems Claudia. The sense of longing and even exasperation in this poem cuts like a knife. Happy wednesday xx

  2. >your opening stanza grabs..i really like cutting hte thoughts with scissors…and of course it goes from there…and thank you for the assist with my one shot…

  3. >Hi Claudia!.Wow, this poem is amazingly swift.you hv really described night so beautifully. .it was a nice fragrance of poetry coming from yourway direct landing into our heart to infuse it with so much +ve energy to look for the dreams awaiting..thankS.take careks :-))

  4. >Beginning is cutting, literally. The middle transition/break "yes andi feel your presence, warm," was my favorite part, which led to a soothing finish. Your work has had an edge to it lately. Digging it, even more so than usual.

  5. >such a poem of want and almost panic. In the best sense if that can be understood.I was captured from the very beginning, Claudia. There is so much in there, so layered, so emotive. You have written something that goes deep into the heart of experience.Lady Nyo

  6. >The tension and yet the calm of having someone to turn to, lots of sharp images, as always. And the ending with the metaphor of the night/lives circled back. Beautiful

  7. >You had me at "cut my thoughts with the sissors of sleep". You amaze me with your ability to draw us into your experience with words…and english isn't even your mother tongue!…jealous I am.

  8. >I am taken by the passion you convey, every time, in every piece.I especially like how in the end, you close with a sense of quiet urgency, the daylight is coming. What can we accomplish before it does? Always leaving thoughts in my head, your poems do:)Be well -Daniel

  9. >Hi Claudia- scissors of sleep; caged moths; drinking the magic – endlessly inventive metaphors that are at once fluid and restless creates true poetic tension. Beautiful. Gay @beachanny

  10. >can feel the passion and the desperation with these words'i want you to feel me,wake you up in the middleof my craziness, drag youto the moon – a pale oneand feel your sleepy body closeto where my restlessness meets home.'awesome, Claudia!

  11. >I read and read and nobody speaks to me and then I get to you and it's suddenly worth it and I see me in you as a poet and maybe a person, too. Thanks for your realness( without the pathetic pathos of other writers) But then again, maybe it's just because I am older and moved thru much of the existential bullshit that so many poets adore.Thanks,Tiger Windwalker(#102 this week)

  12. >hi claudia– your drive for directness and strong imagery really pays off: "i'm as night as one can bestaring stars out of the darknesstrying to cut my thoughtswith the scissors of sleepbut it won't come."For me this captures the brutality of insomnia and personally, I've always liked it when there's someone next to me to lull me back to sleep– something hard to come by these days. Very beautiful and intense…xxxj

  13. >that opening stanza blew my mind!!!"and i hear you breathe, regularbinomial formula"WOW!Claudia, I would love to hear you read this one. Thank you for sharing this.

  14. >Ohhhkaaayyy..this was deliciously fantastic, Claudia! I felt like as if the night itself was speaking to me… beautiful! The personification was stunning!Your play on words is magical here… so otherworldly and (sigh)… WOW!Quite a One Shot this was!!! :))

  15. >OMG dear Claudia… this is the most beautiful night I've witnessed- your words really get to the soul and heart so easily… flowing ,like bright soft light.

  16. >A sort of insomniac romance! Beautiful and stirring, they reach out of the text to grab you by the heart, caressing it, coaxing it, longing for it…great scene, great image. Quite telling and intimate.

  17. >Could have sworn I'd left a comment on this on Tuesday night Claudia but my internet's been playing up as you know.Absolutely love ~staring stars out of the darknesstrying to cut my thoughts with the scissors of sleep~ lines any poet would wish they'd written. So often we think of sleep as something passive but here you've given a whole different take on it and as poets that's what we must do, find new and interesting ways of saying things. Just beautiful.Congratulations on winning the challenge also. Wonderful piece of poetry.Carys