>become, become..

>a stream like colored drops of rain
springs from its well in tender heaps
become, become, not merely claim

a painter – and i paint in vain
my rainbow sparkles as it weeps
a stream like colored drops of rain

how can i stand this sizzling pain
no shapeless slow-go, jerky leaps
become, become, not merely claim

my dream is spilled out to maintain
the low, the flow – and on it creeps
a stream like colored drops of rain

life seemed so easy to regain 
live for the day and play for keeps
become, become, not merely claim

and in the end, what will remain
when drop by drop your pencil seeps?
a stream like colored drops of rain
become, become, not merely claim


We have a second Villanelle round running over at One Stop Poetry‘s new Poetry form class.
Join us for a closer look at this musical poetry form, evolving from italian country songs and with a structure, dating back to the 16th century.
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22 responses to “>become, become..

  1. >i've never thought of it in those terms before, that becoming involves something more than merely claiming.interesting stuff.i do like the image of a stream like colored drops of rain.

  2. >become, become, not merely claim/ a painter – and i paint/ how can i stand/ become, become, not merely claim/play for keeps/become, become, not merely claim/ and in the end, what will remain become, become, not merely claimLiving the aesthetic life. Getting up in the morning authentically not just looking in the mirror "to prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet" (Eliot). Accepting every moment as a surprise and as a transformational moment. Accepting not only who you are but who you want to be — in the end, well, they are both the same, aren't they?

  3. >To become sonething greater than we are…time….patience…practice and a lot of failure. I really appreciate the repitition of become here Claudia. We can all become what we want to be. Accept fleeting experiences for what they are. The form is lovely, although I abbhored it the first time I tried…I've become to embrace it, as you have done so eloquently here

  4. >wonderful…ugh ok i will make a serious attempt at this today…become become not merely claim a vilanelle writer…smiles… and will resp to your ems this morning…

  5. >Your words sing to me on a Monday morning. I love it. You are brave to take on a Villanelle. I would have never…or should I say have never, been so brave. I suck at doing anything so structured 🙂

  6. >As others have noted, what truly strikes me in this poem is the first line, the central conceit of a painting as a colored stream or colored drops of rain; that is a striking and inventive image.

  7. >An interesting meld of your normal wide-open, loose and contemporary style and the more formal old school feel of a villanelle–you've made it work well for you, and produced something very original and pleasing.

  8. >"become, become, not merely claim"Honestly, you and Talon have quickly become two of my favourite online writers of poetry. That line particularly struck me, Claudia.

  9. >Hi Claudia,I'm coming to your blog space , for the very 1st time.Thanks to Natasha's Blog to reach here.And after reading this Poem , I'm quite amazed by the flow and the words you had put into the poetry.I really like these 2 middle stanzas from you poem "my dream is spilled out to maintain the low, the flow – and on it creeps a stream like colored drops of rain life seemed so easy to regain live for the day and play for keepsbecome, become, not merely claim" Would be here more ofren.Thanks,Vivek

  10. >Hi! Claudia…As I started to read your beautiful poetry…I wondered if this is a poem using the "Villanelle" that you, introduced to your readers…and lo and behold it's…I must admit that I "picked" up on the musical flow in your poem "almost" immediately.Thanks, for sharing…I will follow the link…shortly!DeeDee ;-D

  11. >my husband and I were talking (just last night as a matter of fact) about the sayingwalk the walk, talk the talkand also Gandhi's words, be the change to wish to see in the world.I LOVE your words,become, become, not merely claimthey resonate Claudia,thank you.