>i see you

>

i hear your song as i
pass by. a melody,
never sung; swallowed
by life’s traffic like garbage
in a waste press. broken
dream dirge, carried away
on exhaust gases; and
shattered hope beat, melting
in greasy circles into
the rush hour before it
gets lost somewhere
in a busy crowd.

Linking up with one shoot sunday @ One Stop Poetry

Photo credit: Ed Yourdon

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37 responses to “>i see you

  1. >this is heartbreaking and real."i hear your song as ipass by. a melody,never sung."and yet you heard it as you passed by… that gives me hope.P.S. Happy Birthday tomorrow to your lovely daughter!

  2. >The stops (periods) in the poem pull us into the rhythm, like life starting and stopping, truncated."melting into greasy circles" an excellent image.

  3. >A striking visual on the plight of the homeless in any city. These lines spoke to me particularly:i hear your song as ipass by. a melody,never sung. and…lost somewhere ina busy crowd.

  4. >equating with greasy ~ untouchable ~ distasteful ~ really got that Claudia and hit right home ~ the plight of the homeless ~ we see but we pass on by caught up in the traffic of life ~ the sound deafend ~ brilliant write

  5. >My heart goes out to all the homeless people. My granddaughters got on my husband and I, because we picked up a homeless person, and he rode with us for about 80 miles, then he wanted out at a town that would connect him to a highway going south. He was heading south for the winter, I think he probably made it, he had about six weeks before cold weather hit. He explained that being homeless, can also be dangerous, especially at night, he tried to find a spot of woods to spend the night, in hopes that others wouldn't see him and cause trouble.

  6. >Poignant. This morning we saw a homeless man taking bags of raked leaves in a wheelbarrow. My husband guessed it was to make a bed. Nice poem, ClaudiaVictoriahttp://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/11/14/sunday-160-fear-mongering/

  7. >Only one with a compassionate heart can hear such melodies!One such as yours!I can clearly see the person as I read through.Feel the agony and defeat with each word!Well written,Claudia!

  8. >Very poignant. You have made every word and every line mean something. I especially thought the ending resonated, as it's so easy for homeless people to get lost within the 'system', and within 'society'. to get lost somewhere in a busy crowd.

  9. >Hi! Claudia…I can only echo what your previous commenter, have already voiced…what a nice visual, and very poignant words that you write for One Stop Poetry.Once again, I have tweeted your words and Ed Yourdon photograph over there on Facebook.Cont…

  10. >"swallowedby life's traffic like garbagein a waste press"Wow…what powerful lines! So often the homeless are pushed to the side of the road and forgotten. The solid, strong imagery in this poem brings it to life. Well done!

  11. >Great work on the imagery – really captures the reality of the feeling. I agree with Ranee–those last few lines are so striking, they really grab at you. It's too easy to let people – especially these people – just slip right under our notice. We shouldn't let it happen, shouldn't let them be forgotten…vivid work, Claudia, a lot of feeling coursing through it.

  12. >The homeless are most definitely lost & also ignored by a government that continues to turn a blind eye. It is so, so sad! You did a wonderful job creating this piece..fantastic!