>Autumn

>”You behave like a stripper dear Lady”
“I know” she said “that’s my nature”
“Let me dance for you in garments, soaked with colors of the earth
intriguing red, lustrous orange, mossy green and soulful brown.”
“You sound bluesy Ma’am”
“Of course – it’s a season of change”
“Watch me dance and transform before your eyes and I promise,
you won’t get bored when – piece by piece – my garments will fall
while the wind gets colder and the color of the sky darkens.”
So she danced and I fell in love when she revealed herself to me
and made me drunk with her striking colors 
and stripped me off my mind with her sensual appearance.
And my longing for her grew with every single pirouette
but I knew, she wouldn’t stay..
“Watch me dance” she smiled “when my garments slide down with the wind
and cover the earth with memories of hot summer days and lingering flower scents
before the world turns grey and I will stand naked – and my dance will freeze.
You may feel sad, but I can’t dance forever”
“Will you be back?” I asked
She smiled and her hazel eyes reflected the golden glimmering sunlight
“Don’t be afraid” she said “let go – and enjoy!”


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62 responses to “>Autumn

  1. >Claudia, you grabbed me with this one…I think it is my favourite…how you gently undress this beautiful lady and tell the world enjoy her pleasures for the moment….Great Write!! and Bravo! bkm

  2. >I love the way you didn't answer her question at the end – it kept up the sensation of flirting, the siren effect that you captured so well in the earlier lines. Very imaginative way of handling the autumn season – like a woman in a dress. Lovely – just lovely.

  3. >Your first line grabs and turns and works well to carry us through the change of season (change of life). And like others, I like that you left us with an open-ended answer, the promise in the possibility.

  4. >Such a great opening line. Caught me off guard too—awesome! "with the windand cover the earth with memories of hot summer days and lingering flower scents" Beautifully written

  5. >I too was taken by this lovely Autumn poem Claudia. I love the sensuality of it and the gentle teasing given. Definitely a beautiful Fall piece.

  6. >Wow, great imagery. I had to read it a couple of times. Very playful way to describe the leaves and the trees. Fall is my favorite season.

  7. >Like a burlesque performer, the color is what stimulates the imagination — and whent he color is gone, we see the form, but it's oddlty less eciting. Good one, Claudia.

  8. >"You behave like a stripper dear Lady""I know" she said "that's my nature"Those lines got me at the get go, such an interesting piece and i truly enjoyed it Claudia 🙂

  9. >An interesting back and forth. The personification really comes out as we watch the two have at it…and you have given us a very entertaining, playful dance to observe. Very well done.

  10. >Oh my sweet sweet Lord! This was fantastic, Claudia!! There couldn't have been a better tribute to Fall than this!! Lovely indeed! Really enjoyed the dance (in fact, I am sill enjoying it), and will look forward to it every passing year… Gosh! The imagery was par excellence!! Bravo!

  11. >Idea could have worked, but the execution was rote. Your descriptions used too many judgment words and not enough observation words. Also some cliche. Examples: "drunk w/ colors" (also problematic for mixed metaphor), "sensual appearance" nature-as-hottie-dancer; it doesn't go anywhere for me. I've heard it before; if the language were more agile and you stuck to a conceit or two, that could probably be excused. As it stands though, I felt this poem worth my spending the time to craft a response.

  12. >I know that some poems are found by first lines. I'll look for this one again by the last line. Autumn is my favorite season. Thank you for introducing me to another side of her.

  13. >ClaudiaThis might be a new "favorite" poem for me! Its at the top! A dance of a thousand veils!! Each veil that drops, more reality is shown…and passion swellsThe first falling leaf, the first dropped veil…I was smitten with the sexy, wise, ancient, eternal, beautiful archetypal, Autumn!The novel "Skinny Legs and All" by Tom robbins just popped in my head…sexy, deep, universal, enticing, edgy, humorous…This piece is all of the above and more…Can I have it? (j/k!)much love lady!Lovely Annie

  14. >Claudia, that was exquisite. I've always considered the metaphor of autumn/winter to be perfect for the aging process, and you've proved it goes both ways. Really enjoyed this.Victoria