>55 – shooting star

>the stars shine bright tonight
sparkle time on black velvet
meteoroids paint brilliant lines
and make falling something desirable

as i watch with longing eyes
i feel small beneath the night sky
throwing its dark coat around the globe
with possessive gesture

and i wish i had wings to fly high
and

   d
      e
         c
            a
               y

into a blast of light
tonight – i’m his shooting star

Friday flash 55 – tell a story in 55 words – and link it back to g-man

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44 responses to “>55 – shooting star

  1. >I especially liked the way you closed it up – the authority! But coming after your wonderful description, who would argue?J.

  2. >claudia, this is lovely. i can't even pull out a favorite image/phrase yet, tho i think it might me "sprkle time" or falling into something desirable. lovely!

  3. >You take me back a number of years to when I often wished to decay into a brilliant display of light. Now I like to do my shining with both feet on the ground. That's because all my friends are here.

  4. >terrific, and a universal feeling (no pun intended)I love the line: "and make falling something desireable"have a great, starry weekend!Dianne

  5. >Claudia…?Every literary Format that you attempt is spectacular!I believe that what comes out of your head, is whats in your soul.And so far all that I have seen is Beautiful Brilliance…Thank You so much for sharing your very creative talent with us all.have a Kick Ass Week-End…G

  6. >This is brilliant my friend. The images in my head while reading this seemed so real. Very well done. Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂

  7. >Oh – and I'm very exited for Ted to arrive! I hope my time building the book up doesn't overly inflate the content. It just spoke to me in a very, very meaningful way. I can't pick a favorite, but I especially like 'After Years' – my wife's favorite being 'Old Cemetary'…I hope you enjoy it as much as I have!

  8. >You closed the first stanza with the idea of desire, a wanting, how a meteor might make one want to fall, fall where? Into love, into the vast open sky, its metaphorical and well done – leaving the reader to extract their own understanding.Then, the second one closes with posession. The sky wraps its coat around us with posessive gesture. What was the gesture? And how could it have been posessive? The sky somehow – at least to you – showed ownership or protection even by this 'posessive gesture' and it is left to the reader to construe the moment within their constructs.And in the end, the shift it made to the writer. "I'm his shooting star". A complete turn of attention, despite the 'authority' that I read in earlier lines. I liked this shift of attention, it was almost like subservience followed by dictation, with affection underwriting it all.Ted Kooser makes a comment in his home repair book for writing in regards to publishing poetry (a great book by the way) that says, "Once you poems are out of your reach, you won't be there to explain your intentins to your readers." This was illustrated perfectly by your visual of the fat man popping of rounds on his patio while reading 'Little Red Cup'. Of course, it was not published and I am accessible for questions. But you had no idea I was writing about my teenage son buecause I chose not to include descriptors in that poem that would identify the individual – choosing to focus on the pride of his work and the target that suffers for it. You may or may not have intended for me to extract from 'Shooting Star' what I did, but based off the words you chose and my interpretation of them, that is where I arrived.And let me say, it was a wonderful place:)