moon’s alluring force, hidden under coal & made up lamp light,
gently pulling as we walk,
snow flakes in our face,
i took the silent road last night,
lying on a pile of mattresses (one pea//a princess)
hiZZing chalk-
lines in lunatic patterns on the floor, (colorful & yet) diViDiNg
space/us
& (you guess), instead of talk-
ing, in an imPulse,
i fling
paperthin umbrellas (duct-taped). From the distance,
slightly out of tune (life’s like a snake charmer with turban sometimes),
“picture him” between his wrinkled lips, the ebony flute sings
of now, a 1000 amplitudes, range outside the given scales (&
dawn drips– from his beard of candy floss all over)
.
Gay has us write Karousels and Weaves at dVerse today, poetry forms, invented by David James. I went for the Weave which has a rhyme scheme of: abcad befbg ehiej – no fixed meter. Stop by when we open the dVerse pub doors at 3pm EST
Very cool images in here Claudia, pretty much one superb image in each stanza, really nicely weaved. The princess and the pea reference was a really nice touch as well.
The moon gets around.
Brilliantly woven Claudia! The silent road is so often the widest road…
An excellent intricate weave, I love it. Will try my hand at it later
The interplay of images here is delightful Claudia.
nice….i like first the i took the silent walk and the mattresses, cool hit to the princess and the pea…i also feel a change in it as well as far as pace when you get to i fling…and the snake charmer….very cool write claudia…
Enjoyed the images and your wordplay, Claudia…am especially fond of the princess and the pea reference!
hiZZing chalk-
lines in lunatic patterns on the floor, (colorful & yet) diViDiNg
space/us
lunatic/moon/lunar…great word choice!
Weaved a ton in and still created a wonderful scene at you bin.
Cloudia, you make my mind travel to places where all is possible. I like: “Lif’es like a snake charmer…” But really I like it all. The images are magnificent.
Your words weave such an intricate pattern…a tightly woven tapestry of emotion.
Oh, this weave flows like bright technicolor silk. Well done.
Lovely images here…sometimes the silent road is the most fantastic…
I like the flinging of paperthin umbrellas like life is a snake charmer with turban ~
What an image ~ Good word play too claudia ~
Love the sounds and motion throughout, especially:
i fling
paperthin umbrellas (duct-taped). From the distance,
slightly out of tune (life’s like a snake charmer with turban sometimes),
“picture him” between his wrinkled lips, the ebony flute sings
Nice work, Claudia. The form suites you well.
The moon is always a muse for you Claudia – your work shines as silvery bright. This particularly well illuminated with each image glowing as if it were lit from the inside. I liked it all, the flow almost like pearls dropping from the sky. Excellent use of the weave which was more difficult for me than the Karousel. Mine was a bust (smiles). [Thank you for all your kind comments; you know I always love having you read my work!]
Really enjoyed this one, so I have stolen a moment to say so
moon draws princess and princess, pea; yet what’s divided can duct-taped be…
More than a weave it’s a curl. I love the way your poem turns and tosses and coils up and unwinds. Beautiful images, too. Many thanks.
Greetings from London.
Wonderful images Claudia! I was always a fan of the Princess and the Pea, don’t know why it appealed to me…also quite taken with paper thin umbrellas and duct tape
All polished by moon.
Cool, lively poem. You got me right away visually when I saw the wildly uneven lines, as if they were jumping out at me, never standing still. Great images thrown about as well!
Yeah, there’s a little craziness to this one I really like…love this line hiZZing chalk-
lines in lunatic patterns on the floor, (colorful & yet) diViDiNg
space/us… I do like this weave it seems such fun!
This moon is female for sure and the Weave is an effective form for her story. Ironically, I was using amplitude (as in tidal amplitude) in my poem but ended up in a whole new, different place.
you certainly like to play with words… very interesting
your style remains so honed and well crafted.
“& (you guess), instead of talk-
ing, in an imPulse,”
its so funky and grabbing.
and ‘dawn drips’…fascinating vivid images that took me far away…but also close…even as we walk through life as one, we are still separated
hiZZing chalk-
lines in lunatic patterns on the floor, (colorful & yet) diViDiNg
space/us
I really enjoyed this read. Read it several times and just revelled in it.
This is awesome! Your imagery is amazing as always.
…oh, a dreamy feel hits me Claudia… very illustrative and def make a nice read for tonight…smiles… You picked the weave form which is very suited for your style…
The snake charmer, the princess/pea, the moonlight hidden under coal. Each vivid in its place, yet It all evokes such a dream like quality. I really enjoyed this Claudia..
A waking weave dream, and we levitate with delight gobbling your words. Like, Gay, I found the weave more difficult than the karousel; though it is not supposed to be. Terrific use of form here.
You are always so descriptive. You pick the best adjectives “wrinkled lips”. Perfect!
Claudia, brave you! This form looked daunting to me so I went with the Karousel.
Lovely!
Your velvety smooth snake charmer wiles are really mesmerizing me through this beautiful weave!!
i really love the last couplet beset, especially the candy floss
quantum kisses
such a beautiful array if images strewn throughout this piece. there is something about th hiZZing stanza that touched a nerve, but still the moon and snow captured me from the get go. and both the princess (& the pea) and the snake charmer added such nice elements.
I like the links of moon and lunatic patterns and everything sort of covered up – like the pea under the mattress, but you breaking through sure enough. k.
Fascinating Claudia. I do not understand the poetry form, but yes, found it to be a nice flow. How interesting it would be to hear you recite your poetry.
,em>”moon’s alluring force, hidden under coal & made up lamp light,
gently pulling as we walk,
snow flakes in our face…”
Hi! Claudia, I like your weaves [I also like your poetic words] in your poem: complex waveforms or the physical significance of–
“i fling
paperthin umbrellas (duct-taped). From the distance,
slightly out of tune (life’s like a snake charmer with turban sometimes),
“picture him” between his wrinkled lips, the ebony flute sings …”
Thanks, for sharing!
deedee
”moon’s alluring force, hidden under coal & made up lamp light,
gently pulling as we walk,
snow flakes in our face…”
Oops! I missed the first: em
I actually would like to save this particular blog post, “complex waveforms or the physical
significance of- | jaywalking the moon” on my own web
page. Do you care in the event I personallydo it?
Many thanks -Marjorie