darkness in the corners of
the restNight’s eyes,
moist glistening molecule strands,
cut by the lightbeam of my bike, i wear
two different gloves, but that’s
a different story, on my lips
the scent of sleepwarm cheeks
from kissing you some minutes back,
fall’s dewy breath & LED
swords unpulled yet, i pass
Weil Hauptbahnhof & in the
pale light, paper silhouettes with caps
and scarves and last night’s dreams,
lashed up & canned & carried in
fake Vuitton bags, in trouser pockets,
suits with chinese tags &
4aMoment–
i’m back in the park, dew
on my feet, and i keep singing,
arms spread wide against the dark,
the train speeds up, a band of light,
with tired faces, fading– SilenCe–
mr. moon
& i
and still ten miles to go
.
Weil – city name
Hauptbahnhof – german for main train station
.. and it’s OpenLinkNight at dVerse again where it’s all about meeting cool people and reading fantastic poetry.. Joy aka Hedgewitch opens the doors at 3pm EST
Hi! Claudia…
1st…
lovin the dragon/train and some of the descriptives you have used Claudia
hmmm…I love what I just read of a sleepy -eyed Claudia on the early morning commute to work..the details of which, at such hours, of real people and images ..are familiar, a ritual or repeat film reel, real…yet can appear to be the continuation of a dream with..almost quiet flashbacks? ..sleepwarm cheeks..unpulled LED swords…nice…
4aMoment–
i’m back in the park, dew
on my feet, and i keep singing,
arms spread wide against the dark,
the train speeds up, a band of light,
with tired faces, fading– SilenCe–
mr. moon
& i
and still ten miles to go…
I love the way you in-cor-porated a dream-like state with awaking to reality… in your poem i didn’t see the dragon.
Tks, for sharing!
deedee
this is wonderful writing, Claudia. I love the trip I take while reading. from lips to lights. from faces to the moon. lovely.
I want to hear the story of the different gloves. Maybe I could just imagine it.
The sleepy rhythm of this is extraordinary ~ I’d love to hear the story of the different gloves too
Very nice Claudia. Love the use of the imagery, details and objects. Excellent read. Thanks
love this from the title through the end! ♥
Great imagery, great details woven through a dream state. Ah, to sleep, perchance to dream… Now we want to hear about the gloves!
nice….really cool title to start claudia…the scent of sleepwarm cheeks and kissing you….nice bit of intimacy there…last nights dreams lashed up and canned in trouser pockets, ha….i like…really this is a tightly woven verse, lovely imagery…enjoy the trip with just you and the moon…smiles.
the train speeds up, a band of light,
with tired faces, fading– SilenCe–
The sound of trains always sends me to melancholy. The silence afterward lends thoughts deeper. I wonder what the moon had on its mind.
Once more a scene wonderfully set, but fake Vuitton bags, how could you go fake? haha
Lovely imagery, Claudia…the scent of sleepwarm cheeks and kissing …arms spread wide against the dark….and you and the moon. I was watching the moon reflection in my pool the other night..thinking how lovely it was ” moon in the pool” it rhymes
You took me somewhere with this poem, great.
I can picture this, Claudia…early morning, sun not up yet, riding your bike in the ALMOST darkness on your way, thinking your own thoughts (with two different gloves on – LOL) A very atmospheric write.
I like that you share what came to your mind as you peddled along in the still dark. It’s a little slice of your life that I can picture now and appreciate. The scent of sleepwarm cheeks is gorgeous.
lashed up & canned & carried in
fake Vuitton bags, in trouser pockets,
suits with chinese tags
Sign of the times! We are also inundated with China made goods. Nicely Claudia!
Hank
Your poem is like reading a dream, except that your words make the picture flashes very real.
I remember watching people on the subway falling asleep. Their heads would bob, and drool would sometimes slide out. Don’t sleep on the train Claudia.
Fabulous Claudia, so sensual – as ever! ‘on my lips/the scent of sleepwarm cheeks/from kissing you some minutes back,’ I can almost taste this lines!
“4aMoment–”
I love the way you did that!
Sleep warm cheeks or lips…makes me want to snuggle in and not get up… LOL Beautiful.
Hi Claudia
moist glistening molecule strands,
cut by the lightbeam of my bike, i wear
two different gloves . . .
this section totally caught my imagination
and spun me through on a sweet trajectory . . .
i like this poem.
As always Claudia, you put us right there, each detail a little jewel in the whole, each breath becoming our own next breath. Seems perfect to end it on the train, too.
This is great, Claudia… I love the ending.
Atmospheric brilliance, I always enjoys these trips!
another beautiful ride, Claudia. You put so much romance in your poetry, hope there is some left for your man. Bike riding must be more prevalent in Europe.
Wonderful! Love “last night’s dreams lashed up & canned” and the reverie in the park!
oh i just loved ‘the scent of sleepwarm cheeks’ and ‘fall’s dewy breath’..an enjoyable read with so many images to savor..thank you~
Great. This is like a poetic crescendo that carries you to the night’s peak and then slowly brings you back to the silence of the evening.
Can really feel the movement here … and the two different (yet cleverly unexplained) gloves are indeed intriguing.
So many things I loved about this – the mismatched gloves, the sleep warmed cheeks, the singing against the dark. Wonderful images! K
You saw so much here, and felt it too–where ever could the dragon be?
Such a pretty pretty poem, Claudia. I especially like
moist glistening molecule strands,
cut by the lightbeam of my bike, i wear
two different gloves, but that’s
a different story, on my lips
the scent of sleepwarm cheeks
I can feel the pull of the bike, and the breath of the night. k.
Great imagery, and I love the last lines…only 10 miles to go!
You prove, Claudia, that one can get a buzz on with poetry…if written in half sleep, half dream. This is lovely!
Sounds like a restless night with mr. moon man. this sounds like an odd adult nursery rhyme : Well done mon amie
The time,t he place and the light -all in perfect proportion.
You always merge the sensory experiences so well in you poetry..I feel that I am right next to you as you travel.
Your life is one big poem, and I love it, Claudia! Thanks for the Mr. Moon and I… that’s one to dream on. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/10/02/slp-is-back-creative-juices/
Love the ethereal feel of this…felt the dew myself…enjoyed your dreamy read.
ok, so this is nice:
“the scent of sleepwarm cheeks
from kissing you some minutes back,
fall’s dewy breath & LED
swords unpulled yet, i pass”
and this too, also nice:
“Weil Hauptbahnhof & in the
pale light, paper silhouettes with caps
and scarves and last night’s dreams,
lashed up & canned & carried in
fake Vuitton bags, in trouser pockets,
suits with chinese tags &”
but what about the gloves? i want to know about the gloves, you can’t just say “that’s another story”, that’s just cruel.
ok fine then, just leave me hanging =) see if i care
I really enjoyed this. I particularly liked how at the end you say that you are speeding up, yet it simultaneously feels like you’re slowing down with the language you are using. So very well-written,
Very nice, oh a 4am moment… wonderful…we all need to take time out of our schedules for such a moment…
This does feel like your within a dream… very lovely!
last night’s dreams,
right there in the moment – I just love being there where you take me Claudia – and I also love the accent on those words that bring them up sharper focus – 4amoment – silenCe –
hugs Lib
lashed up & canned’ loved it
A perfect title!! And loved the still warm cheek on your lips. Used to take early morning bike rides with a friend,, the moon and i:-) really enjoyed this!
I like the play of words…there is warmth and feeling of nature in your feet, even when riding the train ~
Claudia, traveling mame! Even with “ten hours left to ride” — sounds like train travels? “outstretched hands in the dark” Thanks!
sounds like quite a peaceful and beautiful ride. mr. moon can definitely be excellent company.
I always feel like I’ve seen the world when I read your poems. Beautiful.
I love the dream-like feel to this, the sense of standing in the here, the now, feeling life touch your shoulders.
Would love to be with you for those last ten miles…this was awesome!
This is terrific. There are so many cool images, but my favorite is “last night’s dreams lashed up & canned & carried in fake Louis Vuitton bags.” Marvelous!
Liked the beginning of this, Claudia–a lot. Such as,
“…moist glistening molecule strands,
cut by the lightbeam of my bike, i wear
two different gloves, but that’s
a different story…”
Want to read that “different story”.
Also, as others, that last ten miles intrigues.
(You write sweet comments, mah deah! Thank You.)
I love this cathartic release and all of the light throughout it, glistening and beaming. Such a breathtaking piece, especially the canning and carrying imagine of a moment. Lovely.
“and scarves and last night’s dreams,
lashed up & canned & carried in
fake Vuitton bags, in trouser pockets,
suits with chinese tags”
I love those lines… just so seeing like it is.
wonderful words… loved the ending!
this is the writing that appeals to me…simple….arresting in its details…..i could close my eyes..and see that park and morning….
The imagery and dream quality in this are magical.
Probably enough time to reminisce about the park and the dew and the kiss again. Awesome details, love the word effects.
mr moon and i and still ten miles to go…sounds totally fabulous..mr moon is a such a dreamy travel companion..
a band of light with tired faces
sleepwarm cheeks
Loved those — thanks
God…. Claudia, I just want to see you on that bike…….! And I think I just did…. Now I want to see it again! Wow…….. Claudia you just absolutely take me away and the world just disappears, but then it always ends….. I just want to get on the back of your bike and go forever…..
Wonderful imagery Claudia and I love “on my lips
the scent of sleepwarm cheeks”
dreamy stuff…
Anna
]
Claudia, I love this, and the bit about the mismatched gloves in intriguing. Beautiful close on this as well.
Pamela
Love the coined words with your imagery – it’s as though one wakes up to be taken into your morning thoughts, agenda, movement, sounds and sights. How generous and completely Claudia of you! Wondrous.
With perspective on blessings and observation of surrounding characters, you create a lead with a story as fantastic as it is mundane. This is the key to a rich, full life. This is the key to happiness!
Perceptive and full of surprising and original imagery as usual Claudia.
I like the stream-of-consciousness feeling to this, Claudia…such that it had me wondering if I were dreaming.
A lovely balance of tight and specific detail within a deliberately sprawling structure and louche atmosphere.
So rich with images and sensations, as always.
The Hauptbahn is a pain.
We must return to the living which makes life fun.
DU
Ich liebe dich. Bei Gott das ist
mein Hertz, mein Blut, mein Körper. Bist
du Sohn zu Vater und zu Geist?
Der Vater werde eingekreist!
You capture so much with few words … what is Hauptbahn?
Seems like a picturesque ride… And sneaky about those Scottish gloves.. He jr
So wonderful to follow you to yet another time filled with impressions that become so real you can touch them.
Again a poetic trip that leaves me with moments of my lifetime revealed. Thanks for your creativity Claudia.
I love your “Light” visions, your dances thru the mist. Your words always fill me and give such incredible beauty to the reader. Thank you.