„the blue or the red shirt?“
always give them room
to choose– within the limits,
reasonable, says psy-chology
“rubber boots or sandals?”
THINK!!!let LogiC work, a big word for
a two year old, my kids had
question marks pinned in their eyes,
more than once, a bit like Scrooge McDuck
those blinKing dollar signs,
“it rains outside?” that
makes it easier, love me
space to choose, orient, check
what’s on staKe & tracK
the possibilities, res-pon-sibilites,
left/right,
deCide,
———-DEcide–!!
& measure outPut in success or DAM(n)age,
we sit on the pool rim, feet in ice cold
water, sun paints toffee dust upon us
“i’ve made uP my mind”
i say, no fuTure
& the blinds, down DOWN,
thick tree trunks CraSH– blocK the
way, cracK badly, but–
the auguries change, and
i go back & walk the other path,
red or blue pen?
i leave love notes
on the toilet paper and i don’t write
‘em in red, nor that i love you, just to
not feed the clichés, mine are more like
“thanks for talking & i came (x num-
ber of) times last night”
and it’s your ChoiCe,
what you’re more proud of
.
this is my entry for today’s Poetics at dVerse with brian miller tending bar & i CHOSE (hint, hint..) to join the fun even though i’m roaming the streets of barcelona when the post goes online…so my commenting will be a little bit delayed…
Love the title! Love the content. One big take away for me is writing on the toilet paper! I gonna give that a go. It will be my #1 priority. #2.It will Sh** …Ahem…sit well with me. he he . Party on Claudia!
First, enjoy Barcelons. Ive never beenbut have long had on list. Nowspeaking of lists, bery cool. Evolution of choice used to set limits from choice to get out of them. Really interesting leaps well-made. K.
Sorry typing on ipad, so forgive errrors. Your poem sticking with me. K
ugh…this has a bit of a punch in the end for me…because i hope he pics well which he is more proud of…because i think part of the second is well taking care of the first…and but play a part in the future…smiles…nice set up of this before turning personal…the giving of choice…it is letting our will go…smiles.
travel light.
Great poem, some great lines like sun painting toffee dust (that’s fab) and then writing on the toilet paper! Hope you like Barcelona (how could you not?). I’ve not been yet, but perhaps should.
Enjoy Barcelona. I loved the ‘my kids had
question marks pinned in their eyes’ Chloe went through a stage when every answer was answered with “Why” It never stopped…”Yes but why”…
This is a lovely choice of a wander as you wander Claudia
Could relate to the “my kids had question marks pinned in their eyes”…what mother couldn’t. Life is a constant chain of decisions…loved what you did here.
This made me smile, being a mom to 3, now grown sons. It brought back many memories. Choice, if only we could be born knowing just how important they are in building a life..but then where is the adventure in that? Thank you!
I can relate to the choices and responsibilities of our children. In the end though, no matter how much we want them to do something, it is always their choice ~
Enjoy your travel in Barcelona ~
If only all of life’s choices would be as simple as: Rubber boots or sandals? But I think even simple choices are good training for a future when there will be BIG choices to be made!
Barcelona seems like a pretty cool (or should I say hot?) place to be!!
I really liked the assortment of “choice” types we are faced with every day that you included here. From the relatively superficial to the life-altering! From whether it will be red or blue shirt to whether to tell someone you love them or not!
Roaming the streets you say, well roam away. And you choice comes to us all and we must give it a call or let life stall, the cat would rather eat the tp too by the way..haha
Enjoyed the poem much…my favorite line was ” “my kids had question marks pinned in their eyes”…I have worked with children most of my professional life and this describes so many of them.
Joyces always seem to be backed by responsibilities. I like the playful way you approach this. The last line is serious though, and a little scary. All our choices have impact and we must chose even what to be proud of.
Great write Claudia. Que disfrutes tu tiempo en Barcelona.
you are in a beautiful place when the sun paints toffee dust upon you. mmmm, good… cool write. spain sounds amazing.
loving the way you move through the choices. it reminds me how everything, little n big is a choice. this is a fun piece to read over n again. “i go back and walk the other path” ~jane
Fun yet insightful…deep without needing dictionary…and your really finding a flow with the breaks as well…better, better, best! LOVED this one
How fun to be on the streets of Barcelona! I like your poem about choices and how they shape our lives in different ways.
Interesting take on choices, Claudia. This follower always enjoys your poetry…
You make your poetry such fun to read. This is such a stylish piece.
I like how you worked in Scrooge McDuck and the DoLlar sign eyes
Clever stuff – liking the capitalisation, style, content – enjoy Barcelona
This one flows like a twisty river, Claudia–love this line:
‘..the auguries change, and
i go back & walk the other path…’
what else can you do?
Gritty stylish writing about the little choices – enjoy Barcelona
The simple choices can be the hardest to make but I guess the sun painting toffee dust upon you could really help!
Your writing such a pleasure to read, like music to my ears, taking me on a pleasure cruise that I don’t want to end.
Great last line. Your choice indeed. That is one of those really difficult choices for men to understand, I hear(!). I like that last line because it kind of puts the earlier parts into perspective, though perspective might be wgat it’s all about: kid perspective, woman perspective, guy perspective… It is a matter of orienting oneself to the needs of the other, this responibility thing, ain’t it? So what’s the right answer to the last line again? Here have some chocolate…
Great poem–the details so creative “toffee dust” “eyes pinned with question marks” and the pace of the poem matched the content, captured the difficulty of decision-making. I think the final image of writing on toilet paper is most memorable.
Yeah, I liked the punch in the end too…adding a bit of oomph to otherwise simple and mundane choices we have to make on a daily basis.
I love this! I remember giving my kids choices all the time and am now back to doing it with my grandsons – still think it is the easiest way to get kids to do and/or learn anything … and the rest, especially the last – priceless and charming.
http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2012/06/choices-or-illusion-of-same.html
Cool write… so many choices … so little time
I love all of this, but particularly the way it ends. That strikes me as real smart.
Well done Claudia , great writing and great imagery including the finale
Ian
Claudia- I actually thought this was very deep and complex…be use you are showing us that choice exists at every level…but not just choice, it’s impacts meanings and interpretations- I love the contrast between the child and the adult in this….the child being pragmatic, choosing logically – then the adult choosing with more emotion, more reflection on its emotional impacts and meanings (the notes on the toilet paper)….maybe I’m not making much sense! But this is what I took from this beautifully crafted piece
The notes on the toilet paper reminded me to stash some notes in my son’s trunk before he leaves for Boy Scout camp. Thank you. I also loved this:
we sit on the pool rim, feet in ice cold
water, sun paints toffee dust upon us
I like how tension built up til it burst at “Decide!!” – I see impatience there, as it may be the case sometimes with kids… Great rhythm!
Fun write. Love the love notes section, definitely was not expecting that, but probably should have lol Lots of choices, love how you included how choices affect so many avenues in life as well here. Great read. thanks
“i leave love notes
on the toilet paper and i don’t write
‘em in red, nor that i love you, just to
not feed the clichés, mine are more like
“thanks for talking & i came (x num-
ber of) times last night”
and it’s your ChoiCe,
what you’re more proud of”
heh, great ending.
you have a very distinct use of language in your poetry, i guess what you might call “voice”. most writers never find their voice, let alone “a” voice, which is always something i look for in poetry, which in my opinion is what makes poetry not just good, but great… and i’ll let you decide if you should be proud of that or not =)
makes me remember the days when my kids were little
Princess Vadar
this stanza is marvellous and sums up the piece for me –
i leave love notes
on the toilet paper and i don’t write
‘em in red, nor that i love you, just to
not feed the clichés, mine are more like
“thanks for talking & i came (x num-
ber of) times last night
plus of course the couplet closure – brilliant –
and it’s your ChoiCe,
what you’re more proud of
Not entirely sure the experiments with CaPs etc is working for me in this one, there is strong depth of content and I find it a little distracting. Whatever, super piece, Cloudy
this is so wonderfully layered, i love all the nuance and word choices, the flip from child to adult, and the lovely, lovely smile at the end.
Wonderful examination of a real life issue in verse. I really enjoyed it, though I had to read it a couple of extra times because I too was a bit distracted by the caps.
oh, Claudia…loved the imagery of your children’s eyes…and the surprise at the end
beautifully writ claudia, so much pleasure in the lines and surprises in sharp turns in tones -
clothes and children to ice cold feet to red toilet paper and choices of intimacy -
so much in so few lines
i see this often with you, but wondering, seems barcelona’s fed you grist
i like it
I enjoyed this piece Claudia. Some of the images rendered were great, the toffee dust painted by the sun, and I really Like the use of capiTals for emphasis.
And the toilet paper idea at the end is great, I have to remember to try that some time. Although it must be a bit awkward for your husband to use the toilet paper after reading some of that haha!