maybe it’s the spanish tunes,
dropped with tender fingertips
into a moorish night–
way too cool for may,
and i am shivering, or
my struggle with the roller coasters
that reminds me constantly
how difficult it is for me
to trust
and i say “next time” to my colleague,
“next time i will ride ‘em all”
he smiles & says we’ll go for two
as that’s enough to start with,
after midnite and
a hundred work calls later
on three different mobiles, i sit
in the dark and suddenly i know,
it happened in that chinese circus
with her, sleeping on the bench
after playing with the dragon, he
takes off his coat, steps ClosEr &
i’m terrified– NO!! pleASE
dON’t harm her– but he spreads
the cloak and
covers her with warmth,
i wipe my eyes, breathe hard, stumble
on a cross road where i least expect,
rafts glide through the water,
almostSilent and the scent of mold
hangs in the air–
hours later i
still smell it on my hands and clothes,
& realize that i’m just a refugee
in a land, whose name
i can’t remember
.
it’s OpenLinkNight again at dVerse and brian miller serves drinks behind the bar…write a poem and join us at 3pm EST
I like the progression of this, Claudia. Never was one for roller coasters myself. Some thrills I can easily leave for others.
what a ride on the dragon. you open so big and colorful and end in a desolate place. but the trip was so fun, there’s payoff in the silence at the end. so nice.
As a kid I loved all things. Try them once just to say I did but, I’m with Mary, as we age we begin to see the dangers and tend to become more conservative. This is filled with lovely imagery. I am so glad the girl didn’t come to any harm and it all ended up happily ever after. That’s the way I like it ! *Smiles
This is really rich Claudia, and the evolution of the subject towards the end is wonderful! I really admire your way of juxtaposing the story, first work, then the dragon metaphor… awesome read!
This reminds me of summer rides, chinese dragon displays and circus fun….
Trust is important, specially when one feels like a refugee in the land ~
Happy OLN ~
Isn’t it wonderful that poems are wide open to interpretation? I love this for my own reasons, but then I enjoy everything you pen.
i am awake now…smiles….3 am…yikes…roller coasters and trust are a good pairing there…funny i rather like the old wooden rickety ones more than teh new easy glide pipe ones…i think it is harder for me to trust one that is so smooth you know…smiles….i like that she does not get what she expects in the middle…instead of harm he gives compassion…those closing lines are tight with emotion for me…a refuggee in a land that she cant remember the name…nice piece claudia…see you in a bit…
There is always a great breadth to your writing. Fabulous.
Fear and grace… things are not what they seem. I wrote along similar lines last night.
Holy crap, Claudia. I felt the fear, the need to stay in control and gained a bit of insight into my own dislike of carnivals and clowns and the like. This engaged me, for sure.
A lot of movement here, and those fears deep in the heart and why or maybe why they have arisen and grip so hard. k.
Taking refuge from confused memories of dragons and damsels in distress under the rollercoaster rides of our busy lives is a normal impulse. However, we can never take refuge from all the exciting possibilities we would have missed if we had not gone to the circus, the fairgrounds, the carnival of our lives.
Really like granbee’s read on the poem….alas roller coasters create dragons of a different kind for me…once again an excellent poem.
eek. roller coasters scare me as much as dragons… heheh.. lovely write Claudia
Aren’t we all…the mood of this gets under your skin…like a blue perfume. Trust is so often a light blown out in the rush of wind on that downward ride. Fine one, Claudia–one of your best, in my simpleminded opinion.
this is such a poignant piece… when i was a child i had a recurring nightmare about a dragon…and trust is one of the hardest things in this life, this life that is always a roller coaster.
that closing stanza is fabulous.
You had me at “Spanish tunes.”
Great write, Claudia, it’s amazing how you capture emotions. I love the image richness!
Claudia, you hit on themes near and dear to my traumatized heart today. I held my breath and then cried a bit. Beautiful work.
Beautifully done – visually stunning and moves within several different realms of fear and hope. To me the ending was a surprise as the voice speaks from someone in exile and in a land far from home a refugee — many of our world’s citizens are caught up in this very war torn world. Thank you Claudia for another exceptional write!
Wonderful, as ever….and that last stanza packs a punch…hard to enjoy things when we fear them…a terrific write..
Intriguing write, lots of depth and layers I sense. I can’t go on roller coasters anymore.
You had me with the title, and slayed me with your finish. Awesome as always, and yet another to add to my favorites collection.
Very nice – I really like the ending, which leaves me a little melancholy feeling. But in a good way. Peace, Linda
The desire to protect your daughter and the ambiguities of this amusement park called life are so well expressed. We definitely can’t put a name on this country. Great poem.
I used to go to a theme park when I was younger and it had a roller coaster that was entirely made of wood. It would squeak and sway as the cart flew right on by… this poem, and the roller coaster/trust comparison reminded me of that. I’m often reminded of things when I read your work, Claudia. Thank you.
This seemed like a dream sequence most of the waay, then the tense scene at the end, with the release, really grabbed me. I was left wondering at the end, about the smells–the scents–and how sometimes they are such a vivid part of our memories. Your writing si often too deep for my simple thought process; I apologize if my comments don’t do it, and your talent, justice.
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/05/22/the-thunder-rolls/
unless I totally misinterpreted it…
i think there’s no such thing as misinterpreting poetry.. everyone reads though their own glasses…and it always reflects where we stand while reading..so…
fair enough.
Yet again a fantastic piece of poetry. I always come back to your blog and learn something. Thank you.
A rich and lovely write–full of poignancy for me–not really sure why–but I am glad that the girl ended up ok—
Hello,
The roller coaster ride of life can leave us drained at times so it makes me think of the ups and downs of life not just a physical roller coaster ride.
This felt so full of insecurities…full of anxiety…but the desire to ‘ride all the rollercoasters’ an expression of intent and courage. The girl and the dragon seems such a significant title after reading this in full. Love how you capture the peaks and troughs of emotion, just like a rollercoaster
Lovely poem, really enjoyed reading this one. Open to a lot of different trains of thought.
Wow! I rode many roller coaster relationships, which is why I especially like-
my struggle with the roller coasters
that reminds me constantly
how difficult it is for me
to trust
Cool write. I don’t enjoy the roller coasters and my little one always tries to lure me into joining him and my husband…:)
There’s so much going on here, so many layers and rich images, both lovely and scary. Love those first three lines that set the stage. The ending, wow, the ending! We can be such strangers in strange lands, and in familiar ones too. Great write, Claudia.
I liked your poem, although I always want to know the kernel that spawned poems like this…
My dragons ride with me where ever I go.
Wander
Long past memories can raise their (sometimes ugly) heads just like a menacing dragon…your writings always make me FEEL… such a talent you have..
Hey Claudia
misty narrative – fogging perception but giving us the clue glasses to filter thru and speculate… all of which i love – dreamy on a solid plane
hours later i
still smell it on my hands and clothes,
& realize that i’m just a refugee
in a land, whose name
i can’t remember
i will take that with me…. because it sticks!
Loved how this rolled like a coaster- absolutely wonderful. Also, following the narrative and the line of emotions, I felt like I was there too. So good.
Oh there was lots conveyed here for me,the fear, the trust all familiar and so I readily took something darker from this piece.not sure if that was your intention but this had an element of trauma and I was totally pulled into it.Fantastic!
Myself and roller coasters do not get along. I do trust some things, but not some fair rides for whatever reason. Your poem made me think of that. Also, I have no fear reading your work; great expectations fulfilled every time.
What a ride you take us on in this fine piece. I know about the trust being hard part and the strangers being kind part, even feeling the refugee in a strange land part, but how you weave it all together is new and fresh.
That ending really hit me, Claudia. It was a perfect way to wrap up the ride of emotions in this piece. Your poems are always beautifully accessible. I also like the play on words with “cross road”. Very nice
Intriguing. Reassuring and yet unsettling. I love the imagery of the opening lines in particular.
I’am scared of roller coaster and the twist and the twist and turns that life can bring. Clever play on metaphor and words.
http://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com am there this week
I’m hip to the roller coaster and the dragon. That’s about the only ride I DIDN’T take in the old days, but I did wind up on a few benches at that and was lucky as that girl… This poem was thrilling but a ride in itself, Claudia. The final stanza is haunting… Thank you so much, Little Miss I Was Number One Poster At dverse!! ha ha Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/05/21/always-and-forever-ironweed-dammit/
my struggle with the roller coasters
that reminds me constantly
how difficult it is for me
to trust – Love that. So very much.
Leaves this reader lost in the fun house at Ponchartrain Beach, New Orleans, 1949…
God, Claudia. This is just about too much for me to handle. I’m so close to crying but fighting it. You never know who to trust, who is just trying to be nice, or who is about to destroy you and/or your child. This is heavy and painful; almost unbearably so.
This, though, is beautiful:
“maybe it’s the spanish tunes,
dropped with tender fingertips”
Beautifully haunting and sometimes it is the familiar that comes back to touch us in ways we wish it would not.
I felt a heart thumping on this ride – speed, suspense, fear then even tenderness. What a combination.
Absolutely brilliant. The title immediately evoked the thought of dragons, and damsels in distress – and there it is, modernized in a world of rollercoasters and shadowy coated figures and girls who are strangers in a strange land, but faithful to the archetype, with every emotion ringing as true as the medieval metaphors.
Lovely… Got me wondering if my fear of roller coasters ties into my ever present trust issues. I enjoyed the vivid picture you painted, Claudia. I love reading your posts…
I can’t do roller coasters anymore but in younger years did a few milder ones.
But this piece is metaphorical… and so lovely… and that last stanza is wonderful.
what a fantastic ending, tying in the sense of smell with memories and reflection. Strong piece. Great build up. Love it. Thanks Claudia
That gave a good roller coaster ride to my mind.:)Great ending Claudia!
This one gave me shivers and sent me to another place…. yes its been a long day riding my own Dragon
a Moorish night holds something quite evocative and romantic, doesn’t it? Well writ here sister… hope you are well Cloudy and not overworking yourself!
A powerful poem of alienation and separation from self. Loved the imagery here Claudia.
Totally disconcerting and so well managed… thos caps are so effective in this piece..
I so loved all the details invested in this poem, and thought of New Orleans before Katrina..pictured Geisha’s in a tea room [ not sure why}, and any mention of chimeras sets my heart singing.Wonderful.
I started out thinking it was a gypsy’s tale, Claudia. And the progression took it to a whole different place.
I think this captures a character well. Sometimes the best thing is to approach a subject obliquely. Read any O’Hara? If not, I think you’d like him.
“maybe it’s the spanish tunes,
dropped with tender fingertips
into a moorish night–”
the girl & the dragon
Hello! Claudia…
What a very beautiful poem…You, too have captured a mood that evokes mystery [Of adventure at an amusement park and yet, having to face the reality Of work too!]
Tks, for sharing your very beautiful poetic words… too!
deedee
Another gorgeous poem. The opening line is magical.
so glad when grace appears in response to fear…a 100 calls, wow! the first few lines and the last stanza are sticking to me…Happy Thursday by the time you read this…blessings, Claudia
This has the subtle, unspoken terror that eats at the heart, erodes so much of us from the inside. That you do not describe it in extravagant detail is testament to your poetic piwers, since it gets into the bones, like the alienation you write about and makes itself known by the most invisible means, though no less powerful for that.
Overcoming fear and the drive to protect are the signs of one with heart and one who knows the source of fears. I have many “maybe next times” in my own life, relating closely with the self-disappointment when each fear controls and wins again. Wonderfully written, Claudia. <3
Truly fascinating and what a splendid piece this is… the fear of the rides and circus and the way you connected it with the trust factor is simply admirable…