it’s a rainy day &
biting cold bleeds from the road
into the car,
my route runs straight
along the wall, i
SCCraTTTCChhh
my elbows heavily,
it is too CLOSE!!,
Damn!!
WAY
too close! just
// B R E A T H E //
again–
ratcheting up the window, i think
of the waffles at IKEA,
whipped cream–
warmth–
& cherries in the color of a sun,
that dips his hips into the sea
at nightfall–
still can feel the sweetness even though
i didn’t taste, i’d
love to–
weird as it sounds,
i stand there,
watching–
knowing–
even if the customs agent waves me through,
even if they don’t ask for my passport,
even if i’m dying on the road,
there are borders we should never cross,
i’m gonna find a river somewhere close,
a bench to mourn the possibilities,
and that should do,
(still breathing)–
with a piece of chalk, i’m drawing lines
across the pavement, then
take off my shoes &
hopscotch through the world
i know, and know
i need to–
get to know myself
again
.
over at dVerse we’re going to cross some borders with our pens today… and it’s my pleasure to tend the poetics bar.. see you 3pm EST
How many times do we get to know ourselves again…hmmmm? It’s a mystery isn’t it.
nice you use CAPs well to ratchet up the tension….the only border i have ever crossed is into mexico…but i appreciate the tension as well…i like how you keep it pretty ambiguous ont he border you are crossing…the end really does it for me…a return to something simple like hope scotch…maybe the last place innocence was found…to refind yourself….well done claudia…
ugh jerry i thought i was going to be first…smiles.
Just now I’m smiling about the idea of hopscotching through the world, jumping from square to square to square to wherever life takes us!
“get to know myself again” … Wow, powerful write. I really like
“with a piece of chalk, i’m drawing lines
across the pavement, then
take off my shoes &
hopscotch through the world”.
Beautiful imagery/metaphor of defying the chalk outline of death, and really living. Great write.
“& cherries in the color of a sun,
that dips his hips into the sea
at nightfall–” made me grin. I might have to watch the sun set on our ocean tonight just to see.
“my route runs straight along the wall…” i hate that! That wall, always too close. This is a poem I’m not going to attempt to analyze–i think it’s pretty plain and clear–just enjoy. Love your work, Claudia–full of thought, imagination, and freedom.
She’s busted out the chalk again! Claudia, love this…the places our minds will go as we await permission to cross into…who we are. Loved it.
Beautiful!!
“Hopscotching through the world..” Oh these words are among my favorites in the poem…they engender that playful spirit that we should approach life with…another fine poem IMHO.
Busted out the chalk for a hop scotch session instead of a walk. Those borders can be tricky, as they can be quite picky. Or so I hear the cat has yet to actually cross one I fear.
Our petty asides are always against ourselves really.
And the chalk-drawings hem us in.
If only life were always so simple as a game of hop scotch. Sometimes so difficult to know where to draw the line, and when not to cross it, too.
Another lovely insight to your mind, always such lovely thought processes.
Wonderful reflection, love the idea regarding borders. Very well done, really like the progression here and it seems you used a variety of tone throughout, really like that. Thanks
to me it is all about the cherries, this poem reads like comfert food, and if i can see life as a giant stack of pancakes and whipped cream and cherries, then i can be comfertable in the world too.
i’m guessing your theme has something to do with borders, i like the image of the hop-scotch lines, and skipping across them as you please, just playing a game of borders. very well done! great read
Oh, Claudia- This is amazing!! There are so many layers in this poem… it can be applied to many things. I especially like the ending and how it brings us back to simplicity.
I love the sound of this:
& cherries in the color of a sun,
that dips his hips into the sea
at nightfall–
Crossing borders as metaphor for knowing ourselves as we are and can be, lovely. There are so many fine lines here. Your consciousness makes the run between reality and the subjective such a great trip.
Wow, this is incredible:
“& cherries in the color of a sun,
that dips his hips into the sea
at nightfall”
Those are my favorite cherries.
I like the reminder past the midway point saying that you’re still breathing.
I also love this concept and imagery:
“with a piece of chalk, i’m drawing lines
across the pavement, then
take off my shoes &
hopscotch through the world”
Getting to know yourself again. We’re all standing on that border … daily, I think.
I too like how you skip along the line between the inner an outer worlds in your work, the private and public life, and the embodied being and the life of the mind. It’s such a pleasure to be reading you again!
Ah! I feel almost? like starting over once more. Cross an ocean (Pacific?) Fly over a couple countries, land in a huge city, maybe KL, ask a policeman for directions to nowhere!–grin!
Yet…somewhere!
To get back to hopscotch days I fear there are too many borders to cross back over, borders I didn’t want to cross in the first place, but now that I’m on this side it seems there’s no way to get back. Peace, Linda
I love the idea of hopscotching through the world…nice ;0
Crossing as many borders as you do in your day, we ought to pay attention to the wise advice here about how to approach them, the ones to avoid, and what to do with the grander boundaries that separate us from the things that really count. Hop-scotch those ones, indeed. Fine stuff, Claudia — B
Beside this being a wonderful poem, and I also like the idea of hopscotching through life. But, i learned something new I didn’t know Ikea sold food.:0
Hopscotch through the world – I like that – the best way to meet it.
Answers that cannot be found at IKEA are perhaps not worth seeking!
Borders borders everywhere
and not a road to cross
Barriers of you and me
Crisscrossing the barriers of our mind
Aussie Ian
You metaphors always blow me away… So creative!!! … To get to know who you are… Hummmm….
Great poem:)
strong poem, Claudia…. love your specifics, the cherries, the waffles at Ikea. xxxj
I’m working on breaking down that damn wall that I so carefully built up through the years. This spoke very close to my own heart.
Incredible ending!
Your immediacy is always so wonderful. K.
I agree…there are borders one should never cross. I like the idea of hopscotching across the world (being mindful of the borders of course:)
You never cease to amaze me. Love your creativity~the hopscotch and Ikea. I don’t know how you weave such great diversity into your poems.
Ok, Claudia, this poem is INCREDIBLE. It’s like Aimee Bender turned poet! (though I mean in that natural style–all your own definitely and with such imagination). This was such a treat to read. I love love love it. I’ve always loved your poetry
As I have been experimenting with a kind of montage form of poetry – without much success, I might say – this impresses me no end. I think I shall have to give it some serious study. Thanks for showcasing it.
“..and the cherries are not really the point” & cherries in the color of a sun,
that dips his hips into the sea
at nightfall–
still can feel the sweetness even though
i didn’t taste, i’d
love to–”
Hello! Claudia…
I must admit that there are words in your [beautiful] poetic poems that just jump right out at me and I always quote them…“there are borders we should never cross,
i’m gonna find a river somewhere close,
a bench to mourn the possibilities,
and that should do,
(still breathing)–”
No image? Wait! you don’t need no image…Because your words are very vivid, very descriptive and…pure!
Thanks, for sharing!
deedee
Hopscotch through the world- love this line.
There are borders we should never cross,
i’m gonna find a river somewhere close,
a bench to mourn the possibilities,
and that should do,
This poem gave me a sense of anxiety- the flow of the words the breathing
very nice indeed
I love the hopscotch in the end, a return to innocence, a return to yourself . Claudia, beautiful ! Happy Sunday
You speak of borders, barriers both external and internal, and always in this strong narrative voice, wise yet vulnerable to life in the 21st Century.
i’d read your poem and prompt on dversepoets yesterday and couldn’t think what to post or comment, and woke up this morning with the idea of saying just that, and, that i was “still” thinking of your poem!
some things stick without knowing or figuring out why i guess
esp liked, “hopscotch through the world”
thanks claudia
Stunning!
Love the use of sound. And the line breaks are just excellent.
The closing lines a special. Brings the whole thing together.
Great work here.
I enjoyed reading this so much. There were too many really amazing lines to single out. The way you use imagery is fantastic.
this was a great image:
& cherries in the color of a sun,
that dips his hips into the sea
at nightfall–
i love the red cherries much better, myself
this piece had a weaving quality, weaving in and out of images and moods till it got where it was going (the border?)
Astonishing stuff! You are unique.
Amazing poem, love the title!
oh man that ending was awesome, terrific read to end my night
Claudia,
Wonderful! Borders can mean so many things, and you explore that so well in your poem. You play with the anxiety level going up and down and finally leveling out in the end. Just lovely.
I like this piece, because it is like
peeling an onion, pungent yet
sweet, dangerous yet introspective;
borders, barriers, looking for answers
while on the move, in the chalk lines,
as we wonder if we remain who we
are as we travel the globe, or do we
become someone else with each
border we cross, each language we
are challenged with, each currency
we must master.
Wow Claudia! I feel the force of this … a very intense way to your voice past boundaries (borders) of lines-and-breaks, sounds and images.